Ultimate Crossover
by Gemma-Rose-628
Summary: Very old, very bad writing. Flames welcome. This uses Maximum Ride, Secret Saturdays, FMA, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Teen Titans, Star Wars: Clone Wars TV , and, regrettably, Twilight. I own nothing inside but the awful plot and grammar, though I wish I could say I don't own those either. T for some violence, swearing, and god-awful writing.
1. Chapter 1: Teacher Unconscious

**This is a note for everyone who has me on author alert. First, I've changed my name. Wanna be Alchemist no longer represented who I am as a writer, and Gemma Rose has become my username elsewhere as well.**

**Second, I'm in the middle of some pretty serious writers' block right now, so all stories are on indefinite hold. This particular fic, is an old one which I happened across and decided to repost for all my LJ friends, is the earliest surviving specimen of my writing. It is atrociously bad, by all my counts, and I actually took it down several years ago. ****So please, keep in mind. This story was never completed, and never will be, but I do plan to return to Edward Ride and my other ongoing fics eventually.**

**Alrighty. Now, for my LJ friends/Fandomly. Dot and I made this story up when I was in 8th grade and she was in 7th. (She's Zola, btw) We continued it until sometime in my Freshman/9th grade year. It is indicative of my skill and interests at the time, and I would greatly appreciate your opinions on whether or not to attempt a re-write. You would, of course, have a part in it and many many MANY things would be different.**

**So, with no further ado, here is the first chapter of Ultimate Crossover**

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****Gemma's POV

It's a normal day, 1st period gym is brutal. I file out into the hall; front left in a 3 girl wide 11 girl long column. Maxine Nikon, head cheerleader, is directly on my right; I look at her and unconsciously touch my necklace as I wish her to be Maximum Ride. I think back to that morning: when I woke up, there had been something around my neck, I walked over to the mirror and saw that it was an emerald green ribbon with a polished pendant of sapphire hanging from it. When I tried to remove it, I found that it was sewn around my neck. I snap back to the present when there is a small ding on my right. I look over to Maxine, thinking that it might be her cell phone going off, but when I glance over, there is only Maxine, walking along. But her facial expression is wrong; it's one of confusion, instead of the meek, frightened look we all wear to avoid being beaten. She looks down at her uniform, long snowy white cotton pants and matching long sleeved shirts, and frowns. When Haley gets slapped for being too slow, her expression changes to one of rage, but when we are herded into the biology lab, her nose wrinkles and her expression changes to one of terror.

We enter the classroom and 32 snowy white backpacks hit the floors with dull thuds, we then sit down and wait for our teacher to enter the room. I see out of the corner of my eye that Maxine hasn't sat down, and she has no backpack. I'm about to tell her to sit down when Mr. White enters the room. "Today" he says, "we will be dissecting a wing." I think, Poor Maxine! She loves birds! "Max! You will be perfect for a demonstration." He says, grinning evilly. Maxine's expression becomes one of absolute terror, but quickly switches to rage. She grabs my back pack and swings it at Mr. White, BAM! It hits him hard on the head; he sprawls across his desk, out cold. "Max!" I squeak, "Why did you just do that?" She looks at me as if I am insane and replies, "Because he is a white coat who was about to experiment on me!" Just then my little sister Zola pipes up, "Gemma, Didn't you know? This is our cousin Max." 'Max' stared at Zola as if she were completely off her rocker, and then visibly calmed down. "Oh, yeah, Sorry! Didn't recognize you."

Then Haley pipes up, "Why did you attack Mr. White?" she asked. Max's reply to this was "I… had a panic attack." The class visibly pales and leans away from her, all but Zola. "Don't worry," she says  
hastily, "they rarely come more than once a month." The class lets out a collective sigh, and sits back up in their seats, color returning to their faces. Zola whips out her cell phone and calls the dean's office, "Mr. Fufferman," she says in an impeccable imitation of our grandmother "Zola's cousin Max has arrived from out of state today, so Zola and Gemma will need today off to settle her in." She nods some, having evidently received an approval, and snaps her phone shut. "We're off the hook." she tells me. A few seconds later, the secretary's voice comes over the intercom, "Mr. White, please send the Monday girls to the office." I walk up to the attendance sheet and mark my sister and I as excused, then I turn and write on the board, class is dismissed, you have a free period in this room, but be quiet or you'll get caught.

I drive us home in my beat up old Saturn. Zo in the backseat and Max up front, Zo chatters animatedly all the way. Apparently this is MAX, as in Maximum Ride. When we get home Max leaps from the car, I hop out and Zo follows suit. As I walk over to Max I mutter, "I wish Max's flock was here, that might calm her down some." When I am about two feet from Max I stop, trying to find the right words to comfort her. Suddenly, my bag starts rumbling, I slip it off and unzip it. Instead of seeing the inside of my bag, I see Max's flock flying at me! Fang is in the lead and I draw back just before he flies out of my backpack. I scramble backwards as the rest of the flock comes out, and they are followed by six large, pale blurs.

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Max's POV  
The flyboys are after us and we need a way out. "Head North, lose the flyboys in one of Seattle's suburbs." Wow! For once my voice has an actual plan! "Okay Flock! Let's head to Seattle, lose them in the suburbs! I shoot forward, using my amazing super speed to draw the flyboys, annoying refrigerators that they are, away from my family, the last thing I heard was Fang shouting,"We'll meet up in Forks!" There's a flash of blue light and suddenly, I'm in a hallway, being shepherded with a group of scared girls, all in white. Looking down, my usually bloodstained and unwashed clothes had been replaced by spotless white clothes, perfectly matching everyone around me. We look like sheep! A man in a white lab coat slaps a girl on the cheek. A white coat! Somehow I'm at the school! Our herd of sheep is shepherded into a bleak, windowless room, the other girls all sit down and drop snowy white backpacks on the floor, but I stay standing. Soon enough, a white coat enters the room, "Today we will dissect a wing." He says, looking at me with a wild gleam in his eyes. "Max, you will be perfect for a demonstration."

OMG! They're going to dissect one of my wings! I grab a nearby sheep's backpack, swing it at the white coat, and knock him unconscious. "Yes! Score one for the good guys." Well, more like score twenty or something. Looking at the terrified sheep, one of them speaks up, well, more like squeaks up. "Max! Why did you just do that?" I stare at her, why does she even have to ask? "Because he's a white coat who was about to experiment on me!" Just then a little girl directly behind the squeaker pipes up, "Gemma, Didn't you know? This is our cousin Max." WTF? "Calm down Max." Oh great, the ever annoying voice is back. "Just play along and you'll get out of here." Well, my voice is annoying the hell out of me right now, but its plan sounds reasonable.

"Oh, yeah, sorry! Didn't recognize you" Then some girl in the back pipes up, I recognize her as the girl who got slapped in the hall, mainly due to the slowly swelling hand shaped welt on her cheek. "Why did you attack Mr. White?" "I… had a panic attack." I said, inventing wildly. Almost all of the girls lean away from me, desks scraping and faces paling. "Don't worry," I said hastily, "they rarely come more than once a month." Relief can be tasted in the air as the girls scoot their desks back into place and the color returns to their faces.

On the way to this Gemma girl's home, the little weirdo, who turns out to be a ten year old super genius, chatters quite animatedly. She apparently knows everything about me and my flock. This is settled between Angel controlling minds and the brains on a stick on the creepiness scale. This, plus the stress of being in a small enclosed space, is beginning to grate on my nerves. On the way there I learn that the little genius is her sister, Gemma Monday is cool with me, but Zola keeps hopping around on the back seat. I ask Gemma where their necklaces come from, and her answer is short, "I don't know."

When we reach Gemma's home, which turns out to be a frickin' MANSION; I leap out of the car and run to the edge of the lawn, I use a sharp rock to slice slits in the back of my shirt for my wings. I turn around when there is a brilliant blue flash and a deep rumbling behind me; I am greeted by the sight of Fang shooting up out of Gemma's backpack, followed by Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel, who had Total in her arms. Six more figure come out of the backpack, these ones leaping rather than flying; they are all pale as milk, and they are all super model gorgeous.

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**OTL, I kept almost using LJ annotations for bold, italics, and strike.**

**/shot**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	2. Chapter 2: Guests

**I forgot to mention this last chapter, but I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar.**

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Fang's POV of recent events

"Okay guys! You heard Max' let's head North, we'll meet up in Forks." I yell the last part so Max can hear it; she's a ways off, flying with her wings spread to their full extent. Suddenly, she goes into warp drive. Damn, she's hot when she does that. Well, I'd better get the Flock out of here, "Follow me, we'll lose them in Seattle on the way to Forks." An hour or so later, man I need a watch, we land in a park in the middle of one of Seattle's many suburbs, It's a cold, snowless day, so there isn't anybody around to see four kids with wings land on the playground. I sit at the wooden picnic table and open my laptop, generously donated by Itex. Using the amazing powers of Google, I find Forks; it's about an hour out as the bird kid flies. Knowing Max, she's waiting there, wondering what's taking us so long.

When we landed, we chose a secluded meadow a few miles out of town. A few seconds after we folded in our wings, we were surrounded by six godlike figures, three guys, and three girls. Then a teenage girl rides into the clearing on the back of what is definitely the biggest wolf I've ever seen, it must be the latest model of Eraser, but hadn't they all been destroyed? Attention goes to the girl, and the godlike people all flit to her side. Iggy puts Total down and grabs what looks like my old yo yo out of his pocket, I always had suspected that Iggy turned my yo yo into a bomb. He starts pushing on sections, definitely a bomb, where does he hide them? Got to get some pointers, Max has been threatening to confiscate my laptop. While he's fiddling with the bomb, Angel tells me, in my head of course, "I can't hear them anymore, but I read one of their minds, they're not human." She sounded worried. Great, were these robots? It seemed like Itex was constantly making new monsters to send after us. Having apparently decided that the little girl was the leader, Iggy throws the bomb at her; the guy in the middle grabs it and deactivates it by pushing the sections in reverse order, he then throws it to me, "I believe this is yours." I start, wondering how he knew that. "Who are you and why can't Angel hear you?" Damn, shouldn't have said that. "Angel can't hear us because," a look of shock and confusion crosses his face, "you have wings." He says, not a question but a statement. WTF! How does he know this? "Yeah, and we're super strong too" Angel, I've got a plan, tell the others. I step forward to the wolf, as if about to lift it into the air, but instead I grab the girl and do an up and away. Two more erasers come out of the woods, and the robots leap at us. The biggest wolf leaps up and grabs the girl in his teeth as we're flying off, this makes me veer up and fly through what can only be described as a portal. I cringe inwardly as I fly… straight into another meadow! The robots chase after us, I spot Max, wearing completely white clothes, and whip around to land next to her. The rest of the flock lines up on my left, and the robots line up across from us. The guy who spoke up back in the clearing has gold eyes and fights like a demon; suddenly he slices open my arm. "STOP!" everyone in the clearing freezes involuntarily, kind of like what Angel did to that one eraser a while back. We all look at the little girl in blue, she could be Angel's brunette twin, and standing next to her is a Max look alike with red streaked, bleached hair reaching to her shoulders.

The Angel twin speaks up again with the same power in her voice and I notice that her necklace is glowing dimly. She says "You're going to stop fighting now." I feel my muscles relax as the hold breaks, but when I try to hit the robot man, I freeze again. I stop thinking about fighting and the hold breaks, I turn to Max, who is struggling against invisible bonds, trying to hurt the woman she was fighting. "Okay, what the HELL is going on?"

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Gemma's POV

Max's Flock shoots out of my backpack, followed by six large, pale blurs. The Flock lands behind Max, and then the blurs line up across from them. When they stop, it can be seen that they are the Cullen kids, and they look mad. Zo and I scurry out of the way; I remember to grab my bag as we run to the edge of the trees. Zo regains her senses first and screams, "STOP!" at the top of her lungs. This stops the fight long enough for Zo to haul me into the middle of the lawn. When we get there, I notice that Fang has a gash on his left arm that's bleeding heavily, and Total is unconscious.

I say, "Who are you?" playing up the charade by filling my mind with confusion and random thoughts about how hot Iggy looks. Angel's face screws up, and Edward whispers something to Bella and steps forward. "We're the Cullens, I'm Edward, this is Bella, There's Jasper, Alice, Emmet and Rosalie" he points to each Cullen behind him as he says their names. Then Angel pipes up, "It's okay guys, we can trust these girls. I'm Angel, this is my brother Gazzy, and there's Nudge, Iggy, Fang, Max, and the little dog at my feet is Total." She points at the bird kids as she names them. "I see that Total is unconscious." I say, maybe I can help with that. I walk over to Total and put my hand over his head, I concentrate on wanting him healed, and soon he opens his eyes.

"How did you do that?" someone asks, I turn around and see that it's Alice who's looking at me inquisitively. "I'm not sure." I say to her, deciding on the spot to not tell them about our necklaces. Then Edward says, since Angel says we can trust you, I'll tell you, he must've heard my planted question about them. He launches into a long explanation, and I gradually let down my mental wall, but leave a barricade up for private thoughts. Max spills their story as well, now that I don't have to be careful, I ask Fang, "Do you want me to heal that for you? It looks like you're losing a lot of blood." He says, "No thanks, it's just a scratch." Gee, when has he used that before? I think back to the time on the beach in book 2 when he had almost bled to death. I'm about to tell him to shut up and let me help when Bella starts freaking out.

I look inquisitively at Edward, and he asks her what's wrong, "I can't find Renesmee" She says in a panicked voice. Only then do I realize that Nessie isn't here. I wish to myself that she's here, figuring it'll come true. I'm right, or rather, Zo is, because almost immediately Jake comes running out of the forest, Nessie on his back. The Flock leaps into the air at the sight of the giant wolves. I realize that the werewolves must look like erasers to them and yell out, "They aren't Erasers!" Iggy seems to recognize Nessie because he pulls something from his pocket and throws it at her. I hear a fizzing sound and realize that it's a bomb. Edward reacts instinctively, he smacks it away and it explodes in midair. Max begins to admonish Iggy for throwing a bomb at the girl and starts whacking him. Once everybody has calmed down some I send Zo inside to start making cocoa for our guests, she disappears into the house, muttering under her breath. I say to the assembled group, "I'm gonna go change into something a bit more me, please don't kill each other while I'm gone.

I head inside and upstairs, once I reach my room I pull on a T-shirt that's striped with two tones of gray, a pair of fitted black jeans and a pair of red shoes. As I leave the house I grab my custom jacket; it's got a list of the Doctor's companions and a picture of the TARDIS embroidered on it. But my favorite part is the work I did on the collar and cuffs. When I walk out I see Jasper and Angel standing side by side and the others doing the hokey-pokey in front of them. I bust up laughing and then Georgia O'Keeffe walks out of the woods, I go from hysterical to furious in a split second. "ZOLA ANNE MONDAY GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE NOW!" My shriek breaks Angel's concentration and she loses control as Zo comes running outside. When she sees O'Keeffe she smiles so big you'd think her face would break, she takes the bewildered woman by the arm and leads her inside. A minute later I hear a shriek from the inside followed by much banging, scuffling and some shouting. Grandma comes flying out of the house after the shouting with O'Keeffe in tow; Zo comes skipping out just as they pull away in Grandma's limo. I open my mouth to ask her what just happened but she beats me to the punch, "I got Georgia O'Keeffe here, the scream was from when Grandma saw her, the scuffling and banging was from Gran getting her stuff and she was yelling at me that I'm in charge until she gets back from Chicago on Monday." Well she's answered my questions but I've still got a problem, because Zo in charge for any amount of time is not a good idea. I tell her to go inside and check on the cocoa, which she does somewhat reluctantly. Once she's gone I start talking to Nessie and wish aloud that the Saturdays were here, because Zak would certainly help me control Zo. Suddenly there's a rumbling in the trees, Nessie puts the wish and rumbling together and says, "Uh-oh" But before I can think a giant wolf steps out of the woods, and its eyes are glowing gold.

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Zak's POV

I'm sitting on the neck of a giant waheela, relocating it to an unpopulated area further east, my girlfriend Wadi is behind me and Fisk is sitting on the waheela's head with Komodo. I look back and see mom dad and Uncle Doyle walking behind and to the right of the cryptid, Doyle and dad seem to be arguing about something. Pretty much a typical Friday for my family, I look up and see Zon coming in to land on the waheela's head, she's almost as tall as Fisk when she's on the ground, and I'm beginning to wonder why dad put her harness on for a routine relocation. She seems nervous though, so I send her to fly above mom and dad for a bit. As I face forward we walk into a clearing that isn't on my map, I check my data pal and see that the area we're in hasn't been seen by a satellite in over eighty years; way too odd to be a coincidence. I look up and see seventeen people in the clearing, a girl with bleached, crimson streaked hair, a girl who looks like she belongs in a painting, six people who look like moving marble statues, three people with red/brown skin and six kids with wings. Wait WINGS! I've seen some weird stuff in my seventeen years but this takes the cake. I use my powers, which have grown exponentially since I discovered that I'm Kur, to make the waheela lie down. Fisk, Komodo and I jump off, I reach up to Wadi and help her down, the amulet that I carved for her a year ago bounces on her chest when she hits the ground. I half release the giant cryptid from my control, ready to send it packing in the right direction. But to my surprise it charges straight for the painting girl and the girl with the streaked hair, I sense that it just wants to play, but the girls are paralyzed with fear.

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**And, Enter: Secret Saturdays! Anyone remember that show?**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	3. Chapter 3: Everyone

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar.**

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Still Zak's POV

I tell the giant wolf cryptid to stop, but even as it tries I know that it's futile, nothing that big can go from thirty miles an hour to a dead stop over four yards. Just in the nick of time the red/brown men reach out and grab the girls, the painting girl start crying while the girl with the streaked hair just stands there, shocked. The bird kids leap into the air and start whaling on the waheela, I send it packing, and there's a slight rumble as it departs. My eyes stop glowing and the two biggest bird kids seem to think this is a signal of some sort because they swoop down and grab me under the arms, as we shoot up I see the rest of these odd kids attack my family. The largest remaining one starts on dad, the black girl comes in on mom with a kick to the head and the two little ones tag team Doyle. Wadi has no opponent so she joins in on Doyle's fight, Fisk runs to help mom and Komodo turns invisible, whether to help dad or hide I'm not sure. I listen to my captors' conversation as they pull me up above the trees. "Let's just leave him in a tree. I think Iggy might need some help." This came from the girl supporting my left side.

"I say we drop him for the wolves to catch." This from the apparently goth boy. What wolves? I decide that instead of gawking at my family fighting a bunch of mutants I'd better have Zon wait in a tree in case these kids decide to drop me, I cast around until I find her hiding above dad, unsure how to help. I tell her to wait in the top of a tree beneath me in case these bird kids drop me. Mom and Fisk subdue the girl fighting them and mom pulls out her sword, pointing it at the boy throwing tiny explosives at dad. Fisk, having seen my eyes glow, shakes her shoulder and points at me, she swings the sword around and shoots at the girl holding me, but the boy lets go of me and dives in front of her. He takes the blast full on the right side of his body, but effectively shields the girl. As he begins to plummet, the girl decides that her team mate is more important than my life and drops me. As I fall Zon sweeps up from a tree, I land easily on her back and grab her harness, we did out with the tray carrier years ago so Zon and I have done this plenty of times. I use the Claw to guide her towards the ground, landing behind mom.

Right about when I land the girl with the bleached hair screams "STOP!" Everyone freezes involuntarily, and the area is silent for about half of a second before the bird kids who were in the air plummet into a snow bank. The girl who wanted to leave me in a tree raises her head cautiously, and upon seeing my parents frozen, she stands up with the boy. When mom sees the boy standing there, losing blood and with second degree burns, she drops her fire sword and rushes over while pulling out her first aid kit. The girl with the bleached hair walks over and introduces herself as Gemma Monday. I react almost instinctively, I drop her with a low sweep and grab mom's fire sword off of the ground. But as I'm pointing it at her neck she says, "I'm not one of those Mondays. How could I be if you have no sister?" After my initial shock at her unexplainable knowledge, I think that over and recognize it as true, I help her up and she has us introduce ourselves to the rest of the crowd. After introductions, Komodo is still nowhere to be found. After a three second hunt by the Cullens, he is found in a refrigerator. Nearby is a large pile of fish bones. Apparently, during the chaos, he slipped away and raided the pantry and fridge. After much scolding Wadi puts a circle of marker on his back; he turns invisible but the circle is still visible. Then Gemma says, "Nice, now let's go outside, I think Max is starting to freak out."

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Gemma's POV of recent events

I'm too shocked to do anything as the giant wolf cryptid bears down upon me, I'm positive that I'm gonna die when Seth grabs me by the shoulders and yanks me out of the way, I'm still stunned, trying to absorb the fact that what I thought was a TV show is real. Even in my shocked state I see the Flock flying into battle, Fang still bleeding. They beat back the waheela and soon it's running away, I see Zak's eyes stop glowing and Max and Fang descend. They grab him under his arms and fly straight up as the rest of the Flock descends on the Saturdays, Nudge and Iggy take on Zak's parents and Fisk while Angel and Gazzy start on Doyle. Wadi quickly joins Doyle's fight and deals several glancing blows to Angel. When I see Doyle hit Gazzy with three concussion grenades I come back to my senses, I look up just in time to see Fang dive in front of a fire ball meant for Max, she lets go of Zak to save Fang and I open my mouth, take a deep breath, and scream "STOP!" at the top of my lungs, this results in everybody losing all control of their muscles. Max and Fang crash into the snow, Max sticks her head up and, seeing that Drew doesn't have her fire sword pointing at her, stands up with Fang. Drew's face goes from furious to motherly almost faster than I can see, she drops her fire sword and runs over, pulling a first aid kit from her back. Max doesn't protest as Drew pulls out medical supplies and begins work on Fang's arms. I walk over to Zak, who's holding hands with Wadi, and introduce myself, Oops. He drops to the ground, swings one leg around to knock me over, grabs his mom's fire sword off of the ground and points it at my throat. Hastily I say, "I'm not one of those Mondays. How could I be if you have no sister?" He looks shocked at this proclamation of knowledge that I couldn't possibly have, but soon realizes it as true. He gives Wadi the fire sword to hold and offers me his hand, I take it and once I'm standing I have them introduce themselves to the others. After introductions, Wadi notices that Komodo is still missing. After a brief three second hunt by the Cullens, he is found in our refrigerator. Nearby is a large pile of fish bones. Apparently, during the fight, he slipped away and raided the pantry and fridge. After much scolding Wadi puts a circle of marker on his back, he turns invisible and the circle is still visible. I then say, "Nice, now let's go outside, I think Max is starting to freak out."

When we get outside I think to ask if anybody wants some hot cocoa, a chorus goes up of, "Me! Me! Yes please. Sure. Can I have two?" from Fang,

"I want mine with like, mini marshmallows and whipped cream, and rainbow sprinkles!" from Nudge.

I placate them by saying "OK, come inside with me if you want hot cocoa." I lead them inside and as we pass the library a flash of blindingly bright purple light pours out. I whirl around and march in, Zo is lying in the middle of the floor with a transmutation circle chalked out next to her and everything from my 'Favorites' shelf piled in the middle.

I run to her and yank her upright. She opens her eyes and says "Hey Gemma, all of your favorite people are coming to our party." Oh crud. If the Cullens, the Flock, and the Saturdays are real, then...

"Zola" I say "how many people are coming? And who?" as an answer she holds out my list, it's covered with printed names.

Behind me I hear Zak say, "We're going to need some more hot cocoa."

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**Wow.**

**Back before I learnt how to spell properly! (read: British English)**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	4. Chapter 4: Introductions

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar.**

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Still Gemma's POV

I stand there for a moment, shocked by the fact that she just summoned all the people on my list to our house for a party. I'm broken out of my reverie when the materials piled in the circle lift up and begin to dance in the air, dividing until they form people, the people on my list. The only ones that don't form people are the Doctor Who discs, from them come two items, a TARDIS key and something that looks vaguely like a watch. I reach for the key, seeking to summon the Doctor, but when my fingertip brushes it, it shocks me and flies away. I reach for the watch like item, and the same thing happens. Frustrated, I turn my attention to the multitude of people lying unconscious on the floor, I step over and touch a pile of navy blue fabric and am not too horribly surprised when black energy pins me to the ground on my back. I seem to be winding up pinned on my back by heroes quite a lot today. Once I convince Raven, because the pile of fabric was her cape sitting on top of her, to let me up we start bringing everybody back to consciousness. When everybody's conscious again I walk them outside for introductions. I have them all sit in a circle and as we go around, each person says what they want to be called and a fact about themselves. It goes like this:

Gemma: "Who wants to start? You each have to say your name, how old you are, and something about yourself."

Everyone points at Max, Max points at Fang, Fang points at Max, Max punches him and starts.

Max: "Hi. I have wings, I'm 14 and I'm Maximum Ride." Beast Boy sniggers; Max beats him up and puts a piece of duct tape over his mouth. Fang intervenes.

Fang: "I'm Fang, I'm 14 I don't like talking."

Iggy: "I'm Iggy, 14. I'm blind and I like bombs." Several other boys nod at this.

Gazzy: "They're nodding Iggy"

Nudge: "I'm Nudge, I like talking, I'm 12 and I'm a bird kid…" Gazzy interrupts her before she says anything else,

Gazzy: "Hi! I make bombs with Iggy, I'm 8 and people call me 'The Gasman', or Gazzy for short."

Angel: "You don't wanna know. But my name's Angel, I'm 6 and I can read your minds."

Total: "I am Total, you need not know how old I am." There's a collective 'WHAAAAAAA?' from all the new arrivals.

Emmet: "I'm Emmet, and this is my wife Rosalie, We're vampires and we don't age." Everybody pales,

Emmet: "Hey, don't worry, we only drink animal blood." We all relax, except for BB, who continues to yank on the duct tape.

Alice: "I'm Alice and this is my husband Jasper, we're vampires and I can see the future."

Edward: "I'm Edward, I'm a vampire. Girls are attracted to me. I think they smell like hamburgers."

Bella: "I'm Bella, his wife." Bella then hits Edward, who cringes and kisses her. Two random people show up with halibuts and whack Edward and Bella.

Grace: "I'm Grace, she's Nora. We were employed by wingedsanya to keep people from kissing, and her story is over so we came here."

Gemma: "I thought you two had herrings."

Nora: "Yeah, but we swapped them for halibuts, less stinky."

Annabeth: "Interesting. I'm Annabeth, I'm 16. My mom's Athena, goddess of wisdom." Eyes bug out around the circle in a silent WHAAAAAAA?

Grover: "I'm Grover, I'm a Satyr, we don't age like humans do, but I'm approximately 15." Eyes bug out even further.

Percy: "My name is Percy, I'm 16 and my dad is Poseidon, god of the seas." All present, excepting his friends, fall on their faces. They rebound so quickly it's as if they bounced off of the snow. I start laughing like crazy and soon everybody joins in. When we can breathe again, it's Wadi's turn.

Wadi: "I'm Wadi, I'm 17 and don't get on my bad side or you might find yourself missing something important the next morning."

Zak: "I'm Zak, I'm 17, Wadi here is my girlfriend and these three are my adopted siblings Fisk, Zon, and Komodo." Each cryptid reacts as Zak calls their name.

Doyle: "I'm Doyle, Mini-man's uncle, I'm 27." He tousles Zak's hair as he says this.

Zak grumbles and mutters "I'm 5 foot 11, not a mini-man anymore."

Drew: "I'm Drew, Zak's mom, I'm 29 and Doyle is my little brother."

Doc: "I'm Doc, Zak's dad, I'm 31. And I think that if we leave Zak here, he could have some fun. He certainly hasn't had a nice day since Antarctica."

Zo: "I totally agree! And Fred and George are legal adults, so Zak should be fine." Doc and Drew nod at this and get up. Doc tosses Zak a video phone and leaves, presumably to the airship. Jacob is next in the circle.

Jake: "I'm Jake, I'm a werewolf, I'm 25 physically, but my birth certificate says I'm 19." Nobody looks particularly surprised at this.

Renesmee: "I'm Nessie, and I'm a half vampire, Edward and Bella are my parents and I stopped aging at 17." All newcomers look confused and turn to Edward and Bella.

Bella: "Long story, I'll tell you later"

HYPERLINK " watch?v=110Sy2CBPfo&feature=related" µ watch?v=110Sy2CBPfo&feature=related§

**(Feel free to try that link. I've got no idea where it goes.)**

Seth: "I'm Seth, and I'm a werewolf too, I'm 17."

Leah: "I'm Leah, I'm 20, I'm Seth's older sister and a werewolf." Raven looks up from her book and realizes that it's her turn.

Raven: "I'm Raven, I'm 15 and I can do this." She then rips the duct tape off of BB's mouth with her powers. After much squealing and screaming, BB introduces himself.

BB: "Call me BB, I'm 14 and I can turn into any animal at will."

Cyborg: "Yo, I'm Cyborg,"

Iggy: "We can see that"

Cyborg: "I'm 17 and this is what I can do." he turns his arm into the cannon and shoots just to Iggy's left. Iggy falls over and most of us crack up again.

Starfire: "I am called Starfire, I am 14 and I am from the planet Tamaran."

Robin: "I'm Robin, I'm 14 and I'm the leader of the Teen Titans." He holds up his communicator and the other Titans follow suit. Somebody lets out a low whistle and Gazzy starts muttering to Iggy.

Harry: "I'm Harry, I'm 15 and I'm a wizard."

BB: "Prove it." Harry pulls out his wand and turns BB's skin hot pink.

Ron: "I'm Ron, I'm 15 and I'm a wizard too." Before BB says prove it, Ron turns his head purple. "Oops, I was aiming for blue."

Hermione: "Oh stop it you two. I'm Hermione I'm 15 and I'm a witch." She pulls out her wand and turns BB back to his normal green.

Ginny: "I'm Ginny, I'm 14 and I'm still smarter than Ron." Turns herself every color of the rainbow and then back to normal.

Fred: "I'm Fred."

George: "I'm George."

Fred+George: "We're 17, identical twins and the owners of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, best magical joke shop anywhere." They pull out a big box of fireworks and Fred lights one of them, it whizzes up into the air and turns into a flying pig. We all applaud.

Ginny: "Hem Hem," In an impeccable imitation of Umbridge, "fireworks are a direct violation of educational decree number thirty." Fred and George yelp and turn around, I crack up laughing at the expression on their faces.

Ash: "I'm Ash, I'm 10 and I'm training to be a Pokémon master!"

Starfire: "Please, what is this Pokémon you speak of?"

Ash: "I'll show you." He takes his poke balls from his belt and tosses them up into the air. "Come on out guys!" His Pokémon zip out, appearing on the lawn looking quite happy. Pikachu, Staraptor, Grottle, Buizel, Chimchar and Glizor appear in a blaze of white light. Pikachu hops up onto Ash's shoulder and gives him and affectionate little shock.

Dawn: "I'm Dawn, I'm 10 and I'm going to be a contest champion!" She too removes the poke balls from her belt and tosses them into the air. "Come out and play guys!" The poke balls open and a blaze of light fades to reveal Piplup, Bunneary, Pachirisu, Mammoswine and Ambipom. Ambipom, true to form, snatches Ash's hat and scampers up a tree, Ash chases after it.

Brock: "I'm Brock, I'm 15 and I'm studying to become a Pokémon breeder. I'd like you to meet my Pokémon." He pulls his poke balls out and tosses them up high. "Come on out you three!" Happini, Sudowudo and Crogunk come out and Happini shivers. Bunneary hops over and puts its jacket on Happini.

Zo: "I'm Zola Monday, I'm 10 years old and I'm in charge until our grandma gets back."

Gemma: "I'm Gemma Monday, I'm 16 and I'm Zo's older sister." I kick at her head and she ducks with ease.

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**Oh dear lord. Didn't I realise this is exactly, precisely against the rules?**

**/dies of shame**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	5. Chapter 5: What?

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

**Azelf is my friend, who helped a little with bits of this story.**

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Gemma's POV

I look around and see that there's nobody left who hasn't introduced themselves. For lack of anything better to do, we begin to play Truth or Dare. I dare Jacob to graffiti something on our wall and as he finishes, out little brother Zak comes running up the driveway, his cheeks red with cold. When he sees us sitting in a circle, he stops dead, effectively doing a face plant in a snowdrift.

Meanwhile…

There is a man on Felspoon wearing a blue striped suit and red converses. He's standing in front of a big blue wooden box when a small, rather hot object hits the back of his head with great force. The man turns, rubbing his head, and sees that the object is a key with numbers glowing all over its surface. He grabs the key and curses under his breath. Then grabs it with his sleeve and runs into the box, which is bigger on the inside. He puts the key on a random looking piece of metal and pulls a lever. He hits some buttons and suddenly the blue column in the middle begins to make a very loud noise. He grins maniacally, but when the noise falters his face turns angry, "Oh come on!" He yells "Don't do this now." He pulls a mallet from underneath the console and whacks a few pieces of metal. The noise falters again and he smacks the machine viciously. There's a noise regains its rhythm and then big bump and the noise stops altogether. The man picks himself up, dusts off his suit and opens the door; the phone booth is now on a large, snow covered lawn. He steps out and sniffs the air and then says, to nobody in particular, "South Western Canada, 21st century." He turns and sees a large house, with two cars parked in the driveway. Some ten yards away there's a small boy sprawled on the snow with three female figures bending over him; his eyes wander to the group of people behind the boy.

The Doctor's POV

37 people are all sitting in a circle with mugs in front of them, one has their tongue stuck to a metal pole and two of them don't have pants on. I cast my eyes over to the building behind them and something catches my eye. "No, No way." I run over to the wall and get a slightly closer look; somebody has painted two words on this wall, two very important words; Bad Wolf. I whip around and stride back to the TARDIS, as I head for her I see one of the girls stand up over the boy and put him over her shoulder, bringing him around the circle into the house. Another girl looks directly at me and I see her lips move, and even though I'm much too far away to hear her, I know what she's saying, "Doctor, we've been expecting you."

I reach her and the first thing out of my mouth is "What?" Her reply is a smile, a giggle, and "Would you like me to extricate my sister from your TARDIS?" I spin around and see a small brown haired girl messing with wires under the TARDIS's console. I sprint for my TARDIS and just before I touch the door, it turns into a tree! The brown haired girl pops the panel back in place and grins, I stare for a moment and then say, "But no human can fix her chameleon circuit! It's impossible!" Her smile gets bigger and she says, "Not impossible, just a bit unlikely." I stare for a moment and then resolve to go back to 1950s London as soon as I can.

A perfectly average Caucasian girl with long, spiky black hair and a blue trench coat, bounces up in my face, "Hi! I'm Azelf!"

The white haired girl says, "Azelf, get out of his face. And didn't I tell you to stay inside with Zak and get him some cocoa?"

Azelf sticks out her tongue and says, "Gemma, since when have I listened to you? Zak's watching something on the TV. Besides, this looks like it's gonna be fun!"

Gemma sighs and then begins to introduce me to the rest of the people on the lawn, first she points to a group of people with bone white skin. "These are Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie, they're vampires."

She points to each one as she names them and all that comes out of my mouth is, "What?"

"This is Nessie, she's only half vampire."

Again, "What?"

She then points at the boys without shirts. "These are Jake and Seth, they're werewolves, but a more accurate term is shape shifters."

"What?" Seriously, I need to say something else!

She next points at the group gathered around the boy who has his tongue stuck to the pole. "These are Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Angel and Gazzy is the one stuck to the pole. They're two percent bird, so they have wings and stuff, oh, and the dog's name is Total, he can talk and fly as well."

"What?"

She points at the group that seems the most mismatched. "These are the Teen Titans, Starfire's an alien, Robin used to be Batman's sidekick, the others are Cyborg, BB and Raven."

"What?"

She points once again and says, "Those three are Annabeth, Percy and Grover, Grover is a satyr and Annabeth and Percy are half Olympian."

"What?" Suddenly two girls come down on Annabeth and Percy, who are kissing, and start beating them up with plastic fish. "What?"

"Oh yeah, the girls with the fish are Grace and Nora, I'm not sure how they got here but they've taken it upon themselves to prevent romance."

She points at the boy and girl who are sitting in front of a really tall furry creature and what looks like a pteradon. "That's Zak and Wadi, they're kinda boyfriend girlfriend and Wadi is an awesome thief." My hand automatically goes for my screwdriver, which isn't there. I look up and see Wadi smiling smugly, tossing it from hand to hand like a baseball.

As I storm up to her to retrieve my screwdriver I scream, "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TAKE A MAN'S SONIC SCREWDRIVER!" **

"Oh, is that what this is?" She took it without even knowing what it is! Zak leans in and whispers something in her ear and she holds it out to me. I snatch it and storm back to Gemma, who looks like she's trying not to laugh.

"OK, the big hairy one is Fisk, Zak's adopted brother and the pteradon is Zon, his adopted sister." She points at the furry creature and the prehistoric creature, then points at a group of teens, "Those people over there are Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Fred and George, they're all wizards."

"What?" Those are the people from J.K. Rowling's books? This isn't possible!

"Those last few over there are Ash, Brock and Dawn, they're all Pokémon trainers. Wait, where's Ash?"

While she's looking confused and scratching her head, I ask her a question that's been puzzling me, "Uh, Miss Gemma, what's that lilac blob in the trees over there?" She unexpectedly bursts out laughing and falls over. The lilac thing chooses that moment to bolt straight at us. It soon resolves itself into a lilac monkey with two tails ending in yellow hands and a red and white baseball cap on its head. Behind it is a boy, running at full steam, with messy black hair and an unnaturally large yellow mouse on his shoulder.

"Come on Ambipom! Give my hat back!" The monkey thing looks over its shoulder and chatters, but when it turns its head forward, it slams right into me, knocking me over. I pick myself up and the boy comes panting up to me, he snatches the hat and plops it on his own head. He sticks his hand out and smiles, "I'm Ash." I shake his hand a bit awkwardly and he then runs off to join the Pokémon trainers. They exchange some words and then walk into the trees and vanish in a puff of purple smoke.

My attention goes back to Gemma, who is picking herself up, and for the first time I notice the embroidery; many little people, all somewhat chibi, stand in rows across the back. And the front is covered with insignias that mean nothing to me, mostly circles with other shapes inside of them. She walks back to the circle with her sister and friend, and I follow, simply to hear what she says. Hermione asks her, "What happens to somebody who comes here that we don't want to be here?"

She smiles and shoves her sister forward, "Let's have Zo demonstrate. Zo, pick somebody that we don't want here." The little brown haired girl, Zo, closes her eyes and there's a flash of light, when it fades from our eyes we see a short, fat, toady looking women standing some three yards away from the wizards. Their reaction is instantaneous; they all yell and scramble backwards.

The woman comes to her senses and says, "Potter, may I remind you under Educational decree number 24, you and your friends all qualify for expulsion!" Her appearance, and the kid's reaction to it, help me pin down which book they're from. Order of the Phoenix is the ONLY one in which there's a High Inquisitor.

Gemma is giggling like crazy, but Zo remains collected enough to oppose this woman who is obviously crazy. "Miss Umbridge, You are no longer the High Inquisitor. The new Inquisitor should be here shortly."

Toad lady is visibly shocked. "Preposterous! Cornelius would never-"

Zo cuts in. "Shut up. You have been replaced. Mr. Fudge did not deem it necessary to inform me of his reasons, but I could think of quite a few myself! You are trying to usurp Dumbledore, the best headmaster the school has ever seen, you encourage physical torture, you let the thugs and bullies, whose fathers are known Death Eaters, basically rule the school, and your office looks like barf!" Umbridge is speechless, with no possible retort that keeps her dignity. Finally, she comes up with a coherent sentence.

"Well at least tell me the name of the one who has taken my post!"

Zo looks doubtfully at her sister, who shakes even harder as she nods, then says, "His name is Harkness."

I'm just as speechless as Umbridge. I can't have heard that! Maybe it was a different one, with the same name. I hear a loud *CRACK* from behind the TARDIS and walk around its wide trunk, it's still weird to say that, and see the one and only Capitan Jack Harkness sitting there panting and rubbing his head. "Whoa, those Mythbuster dudes were right! 45 minutes is the longest you can survive in a coffin!" He stands and notices me, "Oh, Hello Doctor! And who is this fine young lady here?" Jack slicks his hair back, staring at Gemma, who looks flattered. I hate it when he does that!

Both Monday girls are standing behind me. Gemma pipes up first, beginning with a mock salute. "Capitan Jack Harkness." She then whispers instructions. "You have to play along, just go along with what my sister and I say and show the psychic paper to the toad lady at the right time." Zo stares at him for a moment, and suddenly his ragtag outfit is a professional looking business suit. They start shepherding him towards Umbridge, I casually stroll along behind them, this looks like it'll be fun!

"Miss, this is your successor, Captain Jack Harkness. He is quite capable of anything you could do, and better." Jack shows her the psychic paper, looking very important and full of himself, as usual. Zo speaks up again. "Now, shut up." Umbridge is muted in a puff of purple smoke. "And that, my friends, is how we get rid of unwanted weirdos, creeps, annoying people, and party crashers." Applause bursts out, accented with hysterical laughter from the Hogwarts group.

When one of the vampires snaps his head toward the woods, I pull out my screwdriver. and walk over to him, "What is it?"

"Something evil, there's only one thought in their heads." Aw crud.

"What is it?" I ask, half afraid of his answer, but he doesn't get the chance, because a split second after I finish talking a voice rings through the cold winter air with words that are far too familiar.

"You Will Be Exterminated!"

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**A/N: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! I am SO evil! First to tell me what those things are gets to appear in the next chapter with a baseball bat and whack anyone they want. You will also get to do that if you tell me what the insignias are. All ideas welcome!**

**** OK, this quote was inspired by a fic where Harry and Ron are trying to destroy the talking homework thingies that Hermione got them. The original line was, "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TAKE A MAN'S BANANA!" Yeah, the doctor was yelling at the giant squid, which apparently LOVES bananas.**

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**We thought we were so clever back then, with our totally obvious cliffhangers.**

**Oh, and the title is a flat what, as in TVTropes, which we didn't know at the time.**

**/dies of shame some more**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	6. Chapter 6: Life and Death

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

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The Doctor's POV

I'm numb with shock as they advance, an entire platoon of Daleks floating across the lawn 15 feet above the ground. I can't help but wonder how they found me: the TARDIS is no longer a big blue box. Speaking of which, I can no longer tell which tree it is... The Daleks halt about 20 yards away. Harry steps forward, "Who are you and what are you doing here?" he yells out.

The one in the lead answers, "You are not the Doctor. Exterminate!" and fires a shot at him.

Harry yells out, "Protego!" and a golden sheet of psionic energy springs up in front of him to absorb the beam. Ron joins him, making the barrier thicker. Fred and George shoot fireworks at the Daleks, while Ginny and Hermione begin firing spells and curses. I shake myself out of the daze I was in and sprint for the battlefield, heading for the two vampires who are kneeling on the ground tending wounds.

When I'm almost there, Umbridge breaks the mute, firing off the killing curse, "Avada Kedavra!" at everything in sight. They hit all the Daleks, and part of one ricochets at us, I can only watch helplessly as it hits the (apparently) teenage vampire boy tending Zon's wing. He half stands and then collapses on the ground. I only distantly hear the thuds of Daleks falling to the ground, dead. I grab the boy by the shoulders and pray that he's not dead; I've got enough deaths on my conscious already, please don't add another one so soon! I lay him out and suddenly Bella is by my side, holding his hand and saying 'Edward' over and over again. Harry runs up to me and asks, "Will he be alright?" I look at the vampire in front of me and see his skin tanning, his clothes already changed into something akin to a black and yellow tracksuit, and can feel the pain and anguish radiating from the vampire next to me as I say, "I don't know."

Edward's POV

There's a stabbing pain between my shoulder blades, and then nothingness. It's like I'm at the mercy of Alec, but wait; I can hear voices! Bella is whispering my name over and over, I try to respond, tell her that I'm fine, but my mouth won't move. Then a fire starts to burn on top of my head, and the voices disappear. The fire smolders on my head for a little bit, then suddenly explodes, covering my body in raging flames, much like my when I was changed. But unlike the venom burn, these flames die quickly, and leave me warm. But something feels wrong, there's no venom burn, and it's been less than a minute! And my heart is... beating! The final flame dies at the bottom of my foot, and the nothingness is gone, replaced by harsh reality.

I sit up and groan a little, it feels like I just woke up on a Monday morning after staying up way too late last night. I open my eyes and see the oddest thing; it's so murky, like I'm looking through muddy water. I realize that the snow under my hand is cold, and stand up. My movements are slow, jerky. I see the concern on Bella's face and touch her hand to reassure her, but pull away quickly, she feels like ice! Alice sees my puzzled expression and tosses me a compact, which I manage to grab. I snap it open and immediately drop it, stumbling backwards and landing on my butt; now it's all fitting together. The murkiness, Bella's cold skin, my own green eyes, that killing curse turned me back into a human! I see Harry standing next to the Doctor, and hear the name he utters, a name that I abandoned nearly a hundred years ago.

"Cedric?"

Harry's POV

My mind is a blank, I hear the word Cedric come out of my mouth and then shake my head. How is this possible? I saw him die! Hell, I spoke with his ghost! "Cedric? Is that really you?" I hear the words come out of my mouth but my mind is still numbed. Our hostesses gently lead us inside, but Max and her flock don't come with us. They just plop down next to the Doctor on the front steps. We all head inside and Cedric just kinda stumbles along with us, it looks like he's still in shock. We head into a large, high ceilinged room and flop down on the thick plush rug. Azelf grabs Cedric by the elbow and guides him to a chair, he sits down in it shakily and Gemma says something to him. Zo looks at Angel, who looks at me and tells me telepathically to begin questioning him. I start with the easiest question, "Do you want to be called Cedric or Edward?"

"I think I would like to be called Edward, that's the name of this body at any rate."

I ask him the next question, which should explain everything, "What happened that night?"

He takes a deep breath and begins to talk, "The killing curse doesn't really kill." What the bloody HELL? "It just separates your soul from the rest of your body. When ...Voldemort cursed me, my soul was sucked into his wand. That's what you saw Harry, you saw my soul, and those of your parents. The only reason that I didn't re-inhabit my body was because by the time I was freed from You-Know-Who's wand, it was quite dead. After the fight was over, very good dueling, by the way, and you were back at Hogwarts with my body, my soul began to drift. I passed backwards in time, heading towards a point in the early 1900s. I found the body of a boy, his soul's bonds were loose and he was quite nearly dead. We agreed to switch places, he gave me his memories and they... I suppose you would say they overwrote mine. I entered the boy and the original soul left, I came to rest in his fevered mind, which was completely devoid of life, and I became Edward. Carlisle bit me not two seconds after I was completely settled, so the first memories I have for this soul in this body are of the excruciating pain." He shudders and falls silent; I had no idea that he had gone through that.

Gemma and the Cullens begin to discuss the possibility of turning Edward back into a vampire, and the rest of us take the hint and leave. For some reason we go back outside, and what we see is something of a surprise. Nudge is talking to a blond shrimp in the middle of the yard and suddenly he hits her in the stomach! She falls on her butt and even at this distance I can see the tears welling up in her eyes, Max stands up, takes two steps and leaps from the porch, unfurling her wings and gliding over to Nudge.

Bella's POV of recent events

I drop to my knees over Edward, hoping and praying that he's alright. "Edward, Edward, Edward…" I murmur his name over and over again, vainly hoping that he'll hear me and open his eyes.

Harry runs up to us and asks the Doctor, "Will he be alright?"

I just know that the Doctor can sense my pain in that moment as he says, "I don't know." I keep my eyes locked on his face, watching the skin tan before my eyes. I start back a bit when his heart starts beating again, and it takes all my control not to run away from his utterly delicious scent. Now I know how hard it must have been for him to keep me alive, and my love for him increases tenfold. His chest begins to rise and fall, and his eyelids flutter. He sits up very slowly, even for a human, and yawns a bit. Then he groans a little, like he's just woken up from a deep sleep, and opens his eyes all the way. He pulls his hand up from the snow and jumps up. He's pretty fast and graceful, for a human, but compared to his speed and grace a minute ago, he's slow and clumsy.

He sees me looking worried and smiles my favorite crooked smile, then reaches out to touch my hand. Almost as soon as he touches me he pulls his hand away. He's so warm! I must feel like ice to him now. Alice snatches a compact from her pocket and throws it at him. He reaches up and grabs it, then brings it down and pops the clasp. He flips it open and drops it, his beautiful green eyes widen in shock as his slow human brain finally pieces it all together. That curse that hit him turned him back into a human! Harry is standing on the Doctor's other side, and he simply says, "Cedric?" What does he mean? This is Edward! MY Edward! Why is Harry calling him Cedric?

I'm still confused when Azelf and the Mondays start shepherding us inside. I walk along with the rest of them and flop down on the plush rug next to my family. I'm in somewhat of a daze until Harry speaks up, "Would you like to be called Cedric or Edward?" I listen to his explanation of how he came to be both Cedric and Edward. When he reaches the end, Gemma says, "OK, we can't possibly leave you human, because pretty much everybody you know is immortal. So my question is, how do we revampirize you?"

Everybody except for us Cullens and the wolves get up and leave as Edward says, "If it's possible, I'd like it to be something other than the traditional way. I've had to go through it once, I have no wish to go through it again." Alice starts to say something, but before it can come out of her mouth, I snap. I've been trying to not attack him since he regained consciousness, and I'm just now failing.

I completely lose control and spring at him; I sink my teeth into his neck and start to feed. Emmet leaps at me and tackles me to the ground, but by then it's too late, he's got my venom in his system and it's spreading. He doesn't thrash, just lies there, twitching; his teeth locked together, holding back a scream. Renesmee gasps and whirls around, running for the door, Jake follows after to comfort her. A few seconds after they're gone, there's a flash of intense lilac light and suddenly it's over. He just stays there, utterly still for a moment. And then he's up on his feet, he scans the room slowly and as he does I notice that his eyes aren't red, nor are they gold or green. They're the strangest shade of lilac. He turns his head to the window, and I listen attentively. I hear the flock flying around, and a quiet ticking. Edward seems to realize something and with almost no warning at all he bolts for the door. I follow and arrive behind him just as something explodes and send Renesmee flying into Edward's arms.

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**Okay, I will admit a little bit of pride in this chapter. Somehow, we actually came up with a halfway decent explanation for how Edward and Cedric are the same person. And really, who knows what a Dalek beam would do to a Twipire?**

**Oh, and in case it isn't clear, the light thingy was Dot/Zola.**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	7. Chapter 7: A Wrench in the Works

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

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Ed's POV

Al and I got separated, Crap! I struggle through another bunch of brambles, feeling my arm move slowly in the cold, wishing that I knew where Al was and that the letter in my hand would turn into a map. I read it over again, hoping in vain that I'll find some helpful directions. Nope, all it says is, you are cordially invited to a friendly gathering at the Monday residence. Seriously! Their name is Monday? I read the next part of the letter and remember what happened right after I read it aloud. I had pulled out the included map and handed it to Al, then read the last sentence. "Please arrive before 12 noon on December 20th 2009, as that is when the gathering will be disbanded." Right after I read that I turned to Al to ask for the map, but he was gone! I gripped the letter in my hand, thinking to myself, 'Not again! We just got back together!' I stepped to where he was, and saw a flash of bright white light. I break out of my reverie when I stumble into a clearing. There's a house in it, with seven people sitting on the steps, so I walk up to it. When I'm halfway across the lawn the black girl stands up and walks over to me. "Hello! Are you here for the party?"

"Huh?"

She just smiles and says, "OK pipsqueak, if you aren't here for the party then maybe you should leave."

She's just about an inch taller than me; I ask her, "How old are you?"

"I'm 12, how old are you?"

"I'm... 19..." Her mouth falls open, then she snaps it shut and I can hear her stifling giggles.

That's when I snap and punch her in the gut with my right hand. She falls on her butt, her mouth open in a small O, and tears begin to well in her eyes. I'm about to kneel and apologize when a chimera flies over! She appears to be in her mid teens, and she simply glides over to the black girl and wraps her beautiful giant bird wings around her. I step back and out of pure habit I clap my hands together and swing my left one over my right. A flash of blue light comes from my hand and I look down, it's a blade! This means that I can use alchemy here!

[Chibi Ed in Ed's Head: YAAAY!]

[Warning: Chibi people will now randomly show up and express emotions the person does not openly express.]

I spot four more chimeras on the porch; they leap off one by one and head for me. I clap again and transmute a giant birdcage around them; I smile to myself and turn away. As soon as my back is turned, I hear something go boom. I whip around and see a gaping hole on the cage!

A flash of lilac light comes from the house's big picture window as two of the chimeras fly overhead. I see them drop what look like rocks and one of them buries itself in the snow at my feet. I lean over the hole to see just how big it is and as I pull it out and hear a quiet ticking. I throw it away from me and it heads for a little redheaded girl. She just stands there, looking curious, and the bomb lands at her feet. She kneels down to examine it just before the bomb explodes. It goes off and the girl goes flying into the arms of a snowy white, sparkling man in the doorway. He turns his head to me and gently sets the girl down, then rushes at me faster than any human being possibly could.

He takes a swing at my head and I see his purple eyes. I figure he's a homunculus and decide to try the technique I used on Greed all those years ago. I clap my hands and smack them against his chest, but nothing happens. He just keeps swinging at me. I try Scar's decomposition technique, but since I'm not sure what he's made of, it does nothing. I keep darting backwards, pulling up barriers, and then my right arm stops moving. I take a step backwards as he leaps over my latest barrier, and I stumble on a rock, not very hard to do when one of your legs is metal and has been given a half-assed extension job.

I fall to the ground, and I can't get up because my arm is busted. I scramble around so that I'm facing him; he picks up a rock and steps towards me, obviously intending to kill. I'm braced for death, remembering something nearly identical that happened seven years ago. I'm sure I'm about to die when something hits the rock man right between his eyes.

[Chibi Edward: WTF!]

It ricochets and I try to scramble backwards in a futile attempt to avoid getting hit. It smacks me between the eyes and lands on my chest, I look down to see what it is and see two shiny wrenches sitting on my chests, wait, chests?

Al's POV

I open my eyes and see blue sky with a few puffy white clouds, blocked by a bunch of skinny branches. I try to remember the sequence of events that got me here. Brother and I were just reading a letter that we had gotten in the mail, he shoved a map into my hands and read, "Please arrive before 12 noon on December 20th 2009, as that is when the gathering will be disbanded." Suddenly I saw a white transmutation circle glow on the ground around me, I shut my eyes to protect them from the bright light, and this is what I saw when I opened them. I nod my head, satisfied that I at least now know what's going on, and try to get up. The branches around me cling to my coat, but I whack them aside and stand up. I look around and see what looks like blue lightning over in one direction. That's the light produced by transmutations! We can use our alchemy here! I bet it also means that big brother's gotten in another fight. I let out a small sigh and start jogging towards the lights. He may have gotten taller, but he hasn't changed a bit.

I reach a clearing and stop on the edge. Big brother is on the ground, his right arm limp at his side and a bone white, sparkly man standing over him. Something small and gray flies through the air and hits the man between his eyes, it ricochets and hits brother, who looks down, and then collapses. I follow the sparkly man's gaze to see who threw whatever it was, and see Winry standing on the edge of the clearing. She's about fifteen yards away from me, but her gaze is fixed on brother and the sparkly man. The man starts sprinting at her, and what I do next is almost entirely instinctual. I hear myself yell, "NO!" and clap my hands together, then slam them on the ground and send up a fist directly underneath the sparkly man. He goes flying and crashes through several trees before rebounding off of a super skinny branch.

I hear somebody say, "Ah, yes, that would be the one." I turn my head to see who's talking and take in a man wearing a blue suit and red sneakers. Between me and him I see six chimeras, I take a few steps towards them and they get into fighting stances. They must have freaked brother out with their wings, and then the sparkly man probably got mad and called brother short. I walk over to the six chimeras, they've all got big, beautiful bird wings and the youngest one looks to be about ten. The best chimera I saw before these six was Marta. I shut down that train of thought immediately, knowing that it'll just make me cry.

I get up close and say, "It's OK, I won't attack you like my dumb brother did. My name is Alphonse Elric, and my big brother's name is Edward. I'm so sorry you guys got turned into chimeras, but with all due respect you're the best ones I've ever seen."

They just stare at me, and the littlest boy says, "What's a Chimera?"

I let out a small sigh, "A chimera is a being that has been combined against its will with another species."

The oldest chimera girl barks out a laugh, "Yep, that's us alright. We were crossed with birds when we were still embryos. Not exactly like we had a choice." I turn away from the chimeras and look for Winry. I see her kneeling over brother, and start heading towards them. He lifts his left arm to touch Winry's face, and then he passes out. Winry mistakes this loss of consciousness for death and begins performing CPR. Ed wakes up when she kisses him, and I giggle at the look of shock on her face.

Winry's POV

I'm sitting on a train. The only one in the last car; heading to Granny's funeral, when the train takes a turn at a speed that I somehow know is too fast. It starts to barrel roll and I scream, but then I'm standing with my back to a snow covered tree, with alchemical flashes shooting up just a few yards away. I sigh; whoever's doing that must be in a really big fight. I think of Ed and immediately shut down that train of thought, not wanting to cry over fantasies that never had a chance to come true. I sigh and start trudging towards the flashes, realizing that I'm now wearing my tool belt, weird. I reach the clearing where the alchemic flashes are coming from after a minute or so of trudging, and get the shock of my life.

There's Ed! He's back! Or am I on the other side of the gate? I choose not to dwell on it, and note that he's lying on the ground with some obviously deranged, bone white, sparkling man standing over him with a rock! I grab the first thing my hand touches, a wrench! I grip it tightly in my hand and then hurl it at Ed's assailant with all my might. It spins through the air like a Frisbee, covering the distance with ease.

[Chibi Winry: DIE!]

To my intense surprise, the wrench hits the sparkly man right between the eyes [Chibi Winry: SCORE! *victory dance*] and ricochets to hit Ed in the same spot. [Chibi Winry: NOOOOO! EDWARD!] I gasp, petrified with fear as the mysterious assailant dashes towards me. Without warning a giant fist of ice smashes up and hits the man. He goes flying, crashing through a bunch of trees before rebounding off of a branch so skinny it wouldn't hold a sparrow. I hear somebody say, "Ah, yes, that would be the one." I tear my gaze from the sparkling man on the forest floor and look at Edward, he's just lying there.

I start running for him, just barely noticing Al on the lawn talking to some winged children. I reach Ed and drop to my knees, he's breathing, but his heartbeat isn't stable. There's nothing I can do but wait there for him to wake up, which he does soon enough. His eyes half open and he lifts his left hand up to touch my face. Then he whispers, "Winry... I've always... loved... you."[Chibi Winry: YES! *pumps fist in air*] Then his eyes close again and I feel his heartbeat falter, I start doing CPR, and he regains consciousness during resuscitation. He kisses back and I sit upright, startled. Somebody steps up behind me and Ed and smacks the both of us with a plastic fish. I look at her and suddenly she vanishes in a puff of purple smoke. Ed is now fully conscious and his first reaction is to hug me. He throws his left arm around me, but the right one won't move. Barely aware of muttering somewhere nearby, I ask him the simplest question, the one I've wanted answered since I was three, and we pretended to get engaged.

"Do you love me?" Muttering pauses.

"I do." Ed blushes, and muttering continues, but now, I couldn't care less.

"I do too."

"I now pronounce you man and wife!"

[Chibi Winry: YAY!]

"WHAT!" Ed shrieks, looking up at a little girl about Al's age. I guess he's fully conscious now.

"You heard me, you're married now! You heard the vows, and said 'I do' at the right times. TA-DA! Married. You even got engaged first. I'm sure your parents would approve, and anyways, admit it, you like being married." Wow, this girl talks fast. [Chibi Winry: 0_o]

"Do you have a marriage license?" Darned Ed! Why is he so determined for this not to have happened?

[Chibi Winry: *whacking Chibi Ed with wrench*]

[Chibi Ed: *dying*]

[Note: Chibi peoples interact often]

"Yes." [Chibi Winry: *phew*] Now, for the problem at hand...

I grab my wrench and swing at his head, it hits with a satisfying thunk and he explodes at me, "I swear Winry! You always greet me with a wrench to the head!"

"Because most every time I see you your auto mail is either damaged or completely destroyed!"

"OK, you've got a point there, but why won't it move?"

"Good question. Let's go inside so I can get a good look at it." I help him up and walk him inside, where he removes his coat and jacket so he's only wearing his tank top. I look at his arm, it's got scratches and dents all over it, and it only has twelve of the forty screws! Not only that, but it's obviously been altered by somebody with very little knowledge of automail. I simply sigh and ask him in my calmest voice, "Why do you not even have half of the screws?"

He blushes and mumbles, "I lost them."

I sigh and open up his arm. And when I see the inside I get mad, I can't help it. "Edward! What have you done to your automail? Half the wires are stripped and there's a layer of grime over everything! No wonder your arm wasn't moving! Look! There's even ice in here!" He just cringes there, letting me rant until I've got nothing left to yell at him about. I finally calm down and say, "So you grew? You must have because your leg's been extended.

He looks like he's about to yell, but he doesn't. He just glowers at me and says, "Of course I grew. It's been a year hasn't it?"

"Yeah, but last time we met it had been two years and you'd only grown half an inch. Did you start drinking your milk?"

CHIBI SCENE [will randomly happen, cannot be seen or heard by anyone but participants] [Editor: Gemma, get off the computer!

Author: Why? I'm right at the start of a good scene!

Editor: You have to do your homework! Do you want mom to explode again?

Author: No. *slouches and looks grouchy*

Editor: Then get off the computer and let me type! You don't have that much to do and I'll let you back on when you're done!

Author: fine. *gets up and storms off to do homework*Editor: This will be a regular occurrence since my stupid sister never does her homework, and I never get to type. In the future, I will take over randomly and shut the Author and Artist in a cage. These will be called Editor Takeovers. Now, ON with the show! *strikes silly pose* I will also constantly strike silly poses! *strikes silly pose*]

He stops glowering and says, "Yes, my New Year's resolution this year is to grow, and Al's was to make me drink my milk." I smile at his explanation and then suddenly he pulls me close and kisses me! I put my arms around him and kiss him back, if I'm dead, then I've gone to heaven.

CHIBI SCENE [Author: I'm done! Now let me back on!

Editor: NO! I've only typed 1 paragraph!

Author: Really? You weren't exaggerating, you really can't type. Now get off and let me work! *bops Editor on head*

Editor: Alright! Just don't delete my work, OK?

Author: Alright. *crosses arms and looks grumpy, then pulls Editor out of chair* *reads what Editor wrote* YEEESH! Why'd you make it so mushy?

Editor: Because I felt like it! *sticks out tongue*]

[Chibi Zola: *strikes silly pose*]

I pull away, blushing, and return to his automail. I'm so out of it that I forget to warn him before connecting the nerves. He yelps and then yells, "GODDAMIT WINRY! You're supposed to warn me before you do that!" I just smile and let him rant as I begin work on his leg.

"Dang Ed, Your leg is in even worse condition than your arm! And why is the extension held in place with duct tape? You could've just transmuted more metal into it!"

He looks confused, "Winry, I couldn't use alchemy until I got here. But wait, now I can, so I suppose I'd better clean this up." He claps his hands together and transmutes the awkward metal sheet cleanly into the leg casing. I sigh and finish up the maintenance; he's really done a number on his leg. I connect the nerves and he hops off the table, testing his new automail in a safe environment before going back outside.

[Editor: Gemma! Author: What now? Editor: you need to unload the dishwasher! Author: GRRRRR! *stands up and stalks off to unload dishwasher* Editor: YAY! I get to type more! Author: ZOLA! Don't you DARE touch what I've done! Editor: Why? I'm the Editor! Now back to the story…]

[Chibi Zola: *strikes silly pose*]

He turns around and pulls me into a tight hug, "I can't tell you how much I've missed you. And not just for my automail, when Noah left us, I just wished you were there. I need you Winry, I can't ever admit it to anyone else but I need you." I blush as he hugs me even closer, and I hug him tight, never wanting to let go.

[Author: There! The dishwasher's unloaded! Now you have to go load it! Editor: But I need to finish the scene! Author: I don't care! I won't delete it, but I need to keep typing! Editor: Fine *pouts and walks off to load dishwasher*]

[Chibi Zola: *strikes silly pose*]

Of course Al chooses this moment to barge in yelling, "Brother! Winry! The girl with the white hair wants us outside!" I turn my head to glare at him and hug Ed even closer, he's mine now, and I think we deserve a little bit of alone time. But he just sighs and pulls at my arms, I guess we won't get much alone time for a while. But these stolen moments are good enough.

* * *

**Enter: FMA! I think around here is when I started getting a clue about how to write, but unfortunately we also incorporated Chibis (visible only to the viewer) to do what we wanted the characters to do but deemed too wildly OOC. /shoots self for hypocrisy**

**IKR? And for future reference, I'm Author, Dor/Zola is Editor, and Azelf is Artist. I'm not sure if she showed up in this chappie, but she will eventually! /not going to read through work**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	8. Chapter 8: Truth or Dare

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

* * *

Raven's POV

Harry and his friends huddle up and decide something, then as they leave, the three blonds come out of the house, one of the boys has his arm around the girl and they're both blushing a little. I hear muttering and turn around, Percy is grumbling and I hear the word 'bored' come up a few times. Gemma yells out, "HEY! INTRODUCTION TIME!" We all turn to face her and she starts talking. "OK, these three people are Ed, Al and Winry. Ed is Al's older brother and some people call him the FullMetal Alchemist."

Percy yells out at Ed, "You look more like the SHRIMP Alchemist!"

Apparently Ed's temper is as short as he is, because he goes ballistic and screams, "WHO ARE YOU SAYING IS SO SMALL THAT HE COULD RIDE A FLEA LIKE A T-REX?" Winry and Al just sigh, and Winry whacks Ed with a wrench from her tool belt. He falls over and Al just shakes his head, looks like this isn't exactly an uncommon occurrence. Ed pops right back up and simply stands there, steaming.

Gemma takes this opportunity to say, "OK, There are way too many people to introduce, so I'll just have Nessie do it for me, Nessie? Could you show him the introductions?" Nessie nods and walks forward as Gemma says, "Put your hands out in a circle." The blonds do as she says and then Nessie simply puts her hands on top of theirs. Ed Al and Winry all pull away, crying out in shock.

Nessie just frowns and says, "Don't give me that. Just put your hands out again and I'll show you everybody's name." Ed, Al and Winry tentatively return to where they were and let Nessie touch them. After nearly a minute Nessie removes her hand and says, "There, now you know who everyone is."

Percy pipes up again, "I'm BORED! There's nothing to do." Gemma gestures to a huge cabinet full of games and Percy just says, "Are any of those meant for... however many people there are here?"

[Azelf: How many people are here anyways?]

[Gemma: I'm honestly not sure.]

Gemma looks grumpy and says, "No."

Zola's face lights up, "How about playing Truth or Dare? That's a classic for any party!"

Jake objects, "We tried playing that already, and Leah left because Seth dared her to strip down to her underpants!"

Zak looks mischievous and tugs on Gemma's sleeve, "Hey Gemma, wanna see what I built?"

Gemma just sighs and says, "Sure, what did you make this time?" He proudly pulls a little doll out of his pocket, it looks exactly like Angel and it's lying in an odd looking pod. "What's this?"

He smiles and says, "It's a doll in one of the Virtual Reality pods! Remember the time we made that house explode?"

Now Zola looks mischievous, "Could we use those? I've got a few good ideas that could only work in VR."

[Chibi Zola: *strikes silly pose*]

"Sure! I have enough pods for all of you!" We follow the Monday kids into their house and up to the attic, the walls are covered in blueprints up to about my eye level, and there's a bunch of half built machines sitting around one absolutely huge one. Cyborg just stares at it, muttering equations to himself. Gazzy runs up to it and plops himself in a pod, Zak helps him close the lid. Cyborg and the other boys swarm it, quickly shutting themselves in. I glide forward and lie down; I pull on the lid to close the pod. It was designed by a six year old, so it's very simple.

Gemma looks at the 13 pods that are already closed and says, "Who are in those?"

Zak just grins mischievously and says, "You'll see. Oh, and I'll have to go in with you for a little bit so I can instruct you on how to eject." Gemma just sighs and nods, and then the Mondays climb into their pods. Suddenly I'm plunged into darkness, and then a little pinprick of light appears, growing rapidly larger. I brace myself for an impact, but when I open my eyes I'm simply standing on a large green field with the others, with crisp autumn air whispering lazily past me.

* * *

Hello Peoples! Since this is such a complex part, I'll be using a different format, in nobody's POV.

EXAMPLES

Name: This means that somebody's saying something. This means that they're thinking something. *this is an action* [this denotes CHIBI stuffs]

This notes other stuff

Get it? If you're ever confused, come back up here.

* * *

Zak M: OK, now that we're in the most basic VR I have programmed, I need to tell you how to eject. I have a controller that, when activated, will allow you to exit the VR by pressing the small button on your back. In your pods there's a button that will always pull your mind from the VR, but your body only comes with if this button's been pushed. If the button hasn't been pushed, then your body will either seem to disintegrate or it'll just go limp. We're not sure exactly why there's two possibilities, but I'm working on it.

Gemma: Ok Boo, I'll let you give the first dare, but then you have to get out and monitor, ok?

Zak M: *pouty face* OK. Flock, truth or dare?

*Flock huddles*

Max: We'll take a dare

Zak M: OK, Max and Fang have to dress as Link and Zelda for the rest of the game, and the rest of the flock has to dress like Mystery Inc.

Max: NO FUCKING WAY! *slaps hands over mouth* Shit! I can't believe I did that in front of Angel and Gazzy!

Fang: I'm not wearing a tunic and tights. No way.

Nudge: I call Daphne!

Iggy: Gazzy, I'm older, so I get to be Fred.

Gazzy: If I'm gonna be Shaggy, then Total has to be Scooby!

Zak M:*taps back of hand* Max, Fang, sorry, but you guys don't really have a choice.

*green mist envelopes the flock, it fades to reveal them wearing the promised attire*

Max: I feel so handicapped in a dress!

Fang: I feel just DUMB wearing tights.

Iggy: I CAN SEE!

Everybody: really?

Zak M: yeah, I gave him his sight, because this is VR, and Fred isn't blind.

Gemma: OK, since there's no one person to give the dare, Zak, you can give another one.

Doctor: Stop this!

Gemma: Shut up. *hits Doctor's eject button*

Doctor: *goes limp*

Zak M: Yay, randomosity! Max! Truth or dare?

Max: Since you're so evil, I'll pick dare.

Zak M: OK, you have to wear Fang's underwear on your head for the next five turns.

Max and Fang: WHAT?

Zak M: Are you refusing? There is a punishment for backing out.*evil snicker*

Max: *gulp* No, I'll do it.

Gemma: *evil snicker* Sweet, now, Fang, take off your underpants.

*screen of emerald mist appears around him*

Fang: O...k... *takes off underpants* *tosses underpants through mist*

Max: I can't believe I'm doing this *puts boxers on head*

Everybody:*laughs, concealed with varying degrees of success*

Iggy: Gee Max, you look really dumb wearing boxers on your head.

Zak M: OK Max, your turn to dare somebody.

Gemma: wait a sec, Boo, you're leaving to monitor us, remember?

Zak M: Oh, right. Well, you should probably have this. *taps back of hand* *bluetooth appears in Gemma's ear* Oh, and Fang, I'm not letting you have Link's weapons.

Fang: Fine by me, I don't really want them.

Gemma: Thanks Boo Monkey, now get on out. *gives noogie to Zak M*

Zak M: *pulls remote from pocket, presses button* *hits self in small of back* *dissipates into green mist*

Gemma: OK Max, now its your turn to dare someone.

Max: Cool, Iggy, truth or dare? He needs punishing

Iggy: Crap! She's gonna punish me! Uuuhm, I'll take a dare?

Max: Crud! Need to think of something... FAST! Uuh, you have to blindfold somebody and let them tattoo something on your chest!

Iggy: CRAP! Who do I trust enough to not kill me? Ok, I pick Nudge.

Nudge: He trusts me more than Fang and Gazzy? [YAYZ!] Uuhm, ok, but what do you want?

Iggy: How about you put the words Master Bomb Maker here? *drags index finger across chest*

Nudge:O...k...*tattoo gun and blindfold appear in her hands* *walks over to Iggy*

Iggy: *ties blindfold around Nudge's head* Ok, start the first letter here. *puts Nudge's hand on his chest*

*Luigi, Peach and Doctor Mario appear behind Iggy*

Dr. Mario: Anesthetics please.

Peach: Yes Doctor! *hits Iggy with cast iron frying pan*

Iggy: *faints into Nudge's arms*

Luigi: Mama Mia!

*Luigi, Peach and Doctor Mario vanish*

Nudge: Uhm, could somebody help me?

Max: Sure! *lays Iggy out on snow*

Nudge: Ok, so I pull this trigger and hold it, then just move the gun, right?

Gemma: I think so...

Nudge: Alright, here goes nothing. *squeezes trigger and starts making words*

Thirty long, boring minutes later

Gemma: Ok, you're done.

Nudge: Really? Can I look?

Max: Yeah, you actually did pretty good for a blindfolded first timer. *pulls blindfold off of Nudge*

Nudge: Oh My God! *puts hands over mouth*

Gemma: *looks at professional grade tattoo on Iggy's chest* What's wrong? You did great!

Nudge: I didn't expect it to be this good!

Iggy: *groan* Huh? Nudge, you done? *looks down at chest* WHOA! YOU'RE AWESOME!

Nudge: Oh, *blushes* you need to pick the next person

Iggy: Oh, right... I choose Ed. Truth or dare?

Ed: *sounding very confident* I'll take a dare.

Iggy: OK, you have to let Alice give you a hair cut!

Ed: WHAT! NO WAY!

Gemma: Are you refusing a dare?

Ed: YES! I'm refusing a dare!

Gemma: *presses ear piece* Boo, send it in.

*green mist appears and then dissipates*

Ed: ENVY!

Envy: Cool your jets pipsqueak, I'm just here to give you a haircut.

Zola: YAY! ENVY! *glomps Envy*

Envy: *attempts to kill Zola*

Zola: *pulls a hammer out of thin air* *kills Envy with hammer*

Envy: *comes back to life* *ignores Zola* Anyway, you still have to get your hair cut.

Ed: NO! I WON'T LET YOU!

[Envy: DIE YOU ANNOYING PIPSQUEAK! *turns arms into blades*]

[Ed: AAAAH! HE'S GOING TO KILL ME! *runs*]

Envy: I'm gonna enjoy this... *pounds fist into palm*

Gemma: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! TALKING PALM TREE!

Envy: *gives Gemma death glare*

Ed: *gulp* Ok! I'll let Alice cut my hair!

Gemma: OK! Now, Alice... give him a buzz cut, but leave the bangs.

Ed: WHAT! I WON'T LET THAT MADWOMAN NEAR ME WITH A... *notices Envy looking menacing* *meekly* ok.

Alice: YAY! HAIRCUT TIME! *razor appears in her hands* I'm gonna enjoy this!

Ed: *cowering in terror*

Gemma: Palm Tree, restrain the shrimp.

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICROSCOPIC MIDGET?

Envy: I AM NOT A PALM TREE!

Gemma: Just get on with it Palm Tree.

Envy: *hits Ed on head with wrench so hard that he loses consciousness*

Gemma: Where'd you get that wrench?

Envy: That little girl over there gave it to me. *gestures to Wadi*

Gemma: Wadi, if you do that again then you will be the one getting a buzz cut.

Wadi: *gulp*

Envy: I'm really liking this!

Gemma: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! TALKING PALM TREE!

Envy: *throws wrench at Gemma*

Gemma: *ducks*

Al: *unconscious*

Winry: *puts wrench in tool belt*

Alice: *begins cutting Ed's hair*

Five minutes later

Alice: All done!

Gemma: *presses ear* Wake them up.

Al: *regains consciousness*

Ed: *regains consciousness* Aaaaaaaaaah! My hair's all gone!

Winry: Wow, he looks... kinda hot with a buzz cut.

Iggy: Ok Ed, your turn.

Ed: Alice, truth or dare?

Alice: *watching future for his decisions* I'll take your dare.

Ed: I dare you to dress like Envy for the rest of the game!

Alice: I knew you would say that, the whole future sight thing and all.

Ed: Grrrr.

Gemma: OK, let's just get on with it. Alice, put on the clothes!

Alice: *clothes like Envy's appear in her hands* *starts to put clothes on*

*green mist forms a thick veil around her*

twenty seconds later

Alice: *steps out of mist wearing Envy style clothes* Ok, my turn.

Everyone: *shock*

Ed: So that's what Envy meant it to look like!

Alice: Beast Boy, truth or dare?

BB: *shakes head* I'll take a dare, I don't trust you that much.

Alice: OK, hmm, what can I do to him...? Oh! This'll be great! I've got it! You have to let someone catch you as you fall backwards.

BB: Hah! That's easy! Eek! Who can I pick? Raven!

Raven: *meditating* OK, I'll catch you. This'll be fun.

BB: Alright. *falls over backwards*

Raven: *waits till BB's head is about to touch the ground* *sends hand out to catch BB, it hits his shoulders and sends him twenty feet up into the air*

BB: AAAAUUGH! I'M GONNA DIE!

Everyone: *shock*

BB: *transforms into bird* *lands and shifts back* THAT WAS SCARY!

Raven: It was supposed to be.

Gemma: Uhhm, how about from now on you can't dare a member of your group, or somebody who's already been dared twice, because otherwise this could go on for a while.

BB: Ok, now, uuhm, Zak, truth or dare?

Zak: I'll take a truth.

BB: Uuhm, ok. Do you plan to marry Wadi?

Zak: Crap! Yes, we are engaged. *blushes*

Wadi: *blushes*

Zak: So now I get to choose?

BB: Yep.

Zak: Ok, Raven, truth or dare?

Max: Yes! It's been five turns! Now I can take Fang's boxers off my head! *removes Fang's underpants* *throws to Fang* Catch!

Fang: Good, now I can put them back on. *goes behind tree and puts on underwear.*

[Editor: Gemma, it's my turn on the computer! Author: fine, just continue the truth or dare for me will you? Editor: Sure! Author: And no mushy love scenes! Editor: AAAAAAAAW!]

[Zola: *strikes silly pose*]

Raven: Truth, I have nothing to hide

Zak: Who in the circle do you have the biggest crush on?

Raven: *blushes* Beast Boy

Everyone: *shock*

BB: *walks over to Raven* You really feel that way about me?

Raven: *nods*

BB: *gently kisses Raven*

*green mist appears and Terra steps out*

Starfire: Terra!

BB: *stops kissing Raven* *looks up* Terra? TERRA! *jumps up and runs over* *hugs Terra*

Raven: He just kissed me, but when Starfire said her name he left me. I guess he loves her more. [*crying hysterically*]

Terra: Hi guys!

Gemma: *puts hand to ear* Terra, in order to stay, you have to answer a truth.

Terra: *slips out of BB's hug* Sure! I'm game.

Gemma: Do you love Beast Boy?

Terra: Crap! I kinda hoped I wouldn't have to say this in public. Yes, I do love him. *blushes*

BB: *steps close and kisses Terra*

Terra: *kisses BB back*

BB: *whispers* Was that really you?

Terra: *whispers* Yes, it was.

[Raven: *commits suicide*]

[Author: Ok, your half hour is up! Editor: Fine, I made some progress on Ultimate. Author: *sits down and closes DevArt* *sees progress* I thought I said no mushy love scenes! Editor: It's not mushy! Author: Whatev, it'll just be a pain to rewrite. Go read or something.]

[Zola: *strikes silly pose*]

[Envy: Yeesh, go somewhere else would you?]

[Gemma: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! TALKING PALM TREE!]

[Envy: *tries to kill Gemma Chibi*]

[Gemma: *kills Envy Chibi till he stays dead*]

[Ed: SWEET! Envy's DEAD!]

Gemma: Terra, since you and Raven were the last two people to be chosen, you can give a group dare and then a single dare.

Terra: Sounds good.

Raven: Fine by me. I wish he loved me more than her.

Gemma: Pick a target!

Raven: *confers with Terra*

Terra: We'll give the group one to the boys, ok boys, truth or dare?

Boys: *huddle up*

Jack: We'll take a dare.

Raven: In that case, all of you excepting the bird kids have to wear dresses for the rest of the game.

Boys: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

*boys are enveloped in green smoke, smoke clears to reveal all but those in the flock wearing dresses*

Raven: *sees BB wearing a beautiful black dress* Why are you wearing my dress?

Everyone: *shock*

Titans: *anime sweat drop*

Raven: What? I can't own a dress?

Robin: No, it's just that...

Raven: *smacks Robin across face with powers*

Robin: Oowwww! That hurt!

Raven: *death glare*

Robin: Eeep!

Fang: Why are Iggy, Gazzy and I not wearing dresses?

Raven: Are you complaining?

Fang, Iggy and Gazzy: No!

Raven: Then shut it!

Gemma: Ok, the boys are now wearing dresses!

Raven: But why my dresses?

Gemma: Because you gave the dare, now, who gets the individual?

Terra: Fang.

Fang: Why me?

Terra: Because you complained!

Fang: Alright, I'll take a dare.

Terra: Ok, bleach your hair blond.

Fang: WHAT!

Max: *laughing hysterically*[He would look kinda cute with Link-style hair, but... the look on his face...]

Raven: You heard her, now sit still.

Fang: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! *runs*

Gemma: *runs after him* You ain't gonna get away that easy you half-brained chimera!

Fang:*keeps running*

Max: *laughing even harder*[RUN FOR YOUR LIFE LINK! RUN FOR YOUR POOR, UNDERNOURISHED, SKINNY, AND... I DUNNO, SOMETHING ELSE... LITTLE LIFE! MWAHAHA!]

Gemma: *tackles Fang*

*salon chair appears in middle of circle with bottle of bleach*

Fang: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Gemma: Emmet! HEEEELP! *being punched in face by Fang*

Emmet: Sure! *restrains and gags Fang* *straps him to chair*

Max: *laughing so hard she's crying*

Fang: *gives Max death glare*

Max: *oblivious*

[Fang: *kills Max Chibi*]

[Iggy: *kills Fang Chibi for killing Max Chibi*]

Terra: Alice, here's the bleach. *throws bleach to Alice*

Alice: Cool! *catches bottle of bleach* It's been a while since that stint in Paris.

Jacob: Hah! I knew it!

Alice: *reads instructions* Ok, according to the bottle I only need one fluid cup for your amount of hair. I'll use 3!

*measuring cup appears*

Alice: *pours bleach into cup* *dyes Fang's hair*

30 minutes later

Alice: It's done!

Fang: *spits out gag* Really?

Max: *still giggling a little*

Alice: Yep! *unwraps towel from around Fang's head* *hands Fang compact*

Fang: *sees hair* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Max: *starts laughing again* Fang: *gives death glare to Max* I look like Link!

Raven: That was kind of the idea. Ok, it's your turn.

Emmet: *unties Fang*

Fang: Ok, Max, truth or dare?

Max: *stops laughing* CRAP! I don't think I'd like your truth, so I'll take the dare.

Fang: Ok, *grins evilly* dye your hair blond

Max: *shrugs nonchalantly* Alright. *walks over and sits in salon chair*

Alice: I've still got the bleach! *dyes Max's hair*

30 minutes later

Alice: Done!

Max: FINALLY! *unwraps towel* *looks at self in mirror* Huh, I don't look half bad! In fact, I look a hell of a lot like Zelda.

Fang: Well, that one backfired a bit. Alright, Max, pick a victim.

Max: Cool! Starfire, truth or dare?

Starfire: Uuhm...I will take one of the truths?

Max: Ok, who's broken your heart?

Starfire: *blushes* Robin.

Alice: Really? You two are a total item! How long ago was this?

Robin: *looks slightly embarrassed* It was a while ago.

Nudge: Gimme deets!

Robin: *rushing* We were fighting a monster on a space station and Cyborg said something about Star being my girlfriend, I denied it and she got real pissed off. It messed with her head a lot but we reconciled.

Max: *low whistle* Whoa, Ok, Starfire, pick a victim.

Starfire: I will pick, Zak.

Zak: Why me?

Starfire: Truth or dare?

Zak: I'm no wimp, I'll take a dare.

Starfire: You must let a girl in the circle remove two pieces of your clothing, what they remove is their choice. And you must keep whatever they choose off for five turns.

Zak: Huh, I almost don't like that. I'll pick Nudge.

Nudge: Me? Ok, take off your shirt and your pants.

Zak: No biggie, I wore clean underpants today. *removes shirt and pants*

Girls: *stare at Zak's hot body*

Winry: *pokes Ed* Build some more muscle!

Ed: I'm perfectly muscled for my size!

Winry: Shut up.

Wadi: *snuggles up to Zak* *glares at girls* He's mine. Don't even think about trying anything funny. [*kills all other Chibi girls, just to be safe* 3 ]

[Note: all Chibis are mortal.]

[Boys: *avenge Chibi girls by killing Wadi and Zak Chibis*]

[Monday Girls: YAY! We're alive!]

Zak: *hugs Wadi awkwardly* Ok, My turn, so I pick Jasper, Truth or dare?

Jasper: I'll take a truth.

Zak: Ok, who were you last jealous of and why?

Jasper: Hmm, I'd have to say Carlisle. He can be around blood without any trouble at all.

Edward: That's not true!

Jasper: *looks slightly panicked* What?

Edward: I can read your mind, remember? The last person you were jealous of was Jake, because he's immortal and has a girl who he can... *can't finish sentence* [*goes and strangles Jasper Chibi for even thinking such a dirty thought about his daughter*]

(what can Nessie do that the other vampire girls can't? *Owo*)

Jasper: *glowering at Edward*

Everybody else: *shock*

Nessie: *confused*

Jasper: It's my turn, Wadi, truth or dare?

Wadi: I want a dare!

Jasper: Ok, strip down to your underpants and stay that way for the next ten turns.

Wadi: *reluctantly* Ok. *removes clothes*

Boys with girlfriends: *pointedly avoid staring at Wadi*

Wadi: Ok, Gazzy, truth or dare?

Gazzy: The dares are getting scary, I want a truth.

Wadi: Ok, who in the circle would you most like to date?

Gazzy: Shit shit shit! I want to say Winry or Wadi but they're both taken! *light bulb moment* I'd most like to go out with Raven.

Raven: Never happening.

Gazzy: I know, now, Winry, truth or dare?

Winry: Hhm, the dares are getting really bad, so I'll take a truth as well.

Gazzy: What's your favorite possession?

Winry: I'd have to say my wrench, it comes in handy when Ed gets out of line.

Ed: You're just sadistic.

[MINI CHIBI SOAP OPERA]

[Winry: *comes back to life, kills Ed Chibi*]

[Al Chibi: *avenges Ed Chibi by re-killing Winry Chibi* *kills self out of guilt*]

[END MINI CHIBI SOAP OPERA]

[Zola: *strikes silly pose*]

Winry: *ignores Ed* Rosalie, what do you want?

Rosalie: Truth.

Winry: Hhm, How many kids would you have by now if you were able? Judging by the number of houses you've demolished. *hurriedly* Don't blame me, Angel pulled that from Edward's head and made me ask.

Rosalie: *glares at Edward* I refuse to answer that question.

Winry: Ok, Emmet?

Emmet: We'd have about, I don't know, thirty?

Edward: Probably closer to fifty.

Emmet: Yeah, you're right.

[NEW MINI CHIBI SOAP OPERA]

[Rosalie: *comes back to life, kills Edward and Emmett Chibis* *kills Jacob and Seth Chibis* Just 'cuz I hate you mutts! *re-kills self to join Emmett Chibi*]

[END NEW MINI CHIBI SOAP OPERA]

[Zola: *strikes silly pose*]

Rosalie: Palm Tree, truth or dare?

Envy: Me? I'll take a truth.

Gemma: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! TALKING PALM TREE!

Envy: *twitches* Grrrrrr…

Rosalie: I've got a double truth, are you a girl? And why do you look like a palm tree?

Envy: *twitches* I am a guy, and this is supposed to look young and cute! *attacks Rosalie*

Rosalie: *kicks Envy's butt*

Envy: *pain* Alright shrimp, truth or dare?

Gemma: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! TALKING PALM TREE!

Envy: *attempts to kill Gemma*

Gemma: *kills Envy* BAD PALM TREE!

Envy: *comes back to life*

Zak: Hey! I can get dressed now!

Wadi: *hides Zak's shirt*

Zak: *pulls on pants* Where's my shirt?

Wadi: Why do you care? You look hot like this!

Zak: *blushing* Thanks.

Gemma: Back to the game! Ed, truth or dare?

Ed: I'm too scared to take a truth from Envy, so I guess it's a dare for me.

Envy: Ok, spend the next five turns in a six foot tall bottle of milk.

Ed: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

Gemma: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! TALKING PALM TREE!

Envy: *puts Ed over shoulder* *smacks Gemma*

Gemma: *sticks tongue out at Envy*

*six foot tall milk bottle appears*

Envy: *dumps Ed into bottle* Just stay in there for a few turns!

Gemma: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! TALKING PALM TREE!

Envy: *tries to kill Gemma*

Gemma: *whacks Envy upside the head with a frying pan*

Envy: *unconscious*

Ed: *drowning due to automail*

Winry: ED!

Ed: *head staying under*

Winry: *tips over bottle* *milk pours out*

Ed: *sits up* Thanks a million Winry!

Al: *stands bottle upright* You still have to stay in there.

Ed: *pouty face* Fine. Nessie, truth or dare?

Nessie: I'll take a dare.

Ed: Let somebody pour a liquid on you that is not water. The group chooses both the liquid and the person.

Nessie: Fine, I'm half vampire. I don't really care.

*group huddles*

Jake: It has been decided that the person will be Envy and the liquid will be skunk spray.

Nessie: *pales*

Envy: *regains consciousness* Me? What am I doing?

Gemma: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! TALKING PALM TREE!

Envy: *tries to kill Caty*

Caty: *whacks Envy over head with Biology book*

Envy: *unconscious*

Caty: Since he's gonna be unconscious for the rest of the game, I suggest you pick another person.

Cyborg: I'll do it! *picks up bucket* *pours contents on Nessie*

Nessie: *covered in stinky skunk spray* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!

[ANOTHER MINI CHIBI SOAP OPERA]

[Cyborg: *laughing hysterically*]

[Nessie: *comes back to life* *kills Cyborg Chibi*]

[BB and Robin: *re-kill Nessie Chibi*]

[Azelf: Why are all the Chibis dying?]

[Zola: I'm not sure.]

[END ANOTHER MINI CHIBI SOAP OPERA]

[Zola: *Strikes silly pose*]

Caty: Don't worry, it'll come off shortly.

Ed: AAAW!

Nessie: Cyborg, truth or dare?

Cyborg: Uhm, I'll take a truth.

Nessie: which girl here has the best body?

Cyborg: *indecision* I'd have to say Max, she looks hot and dangerous at the same time.

Max: Do you **want** a pounding? *smacks fist into palm*

Cyborg: Hey, I was answering a truth, and that was a compliment!

Caty: Back to the game already!

Cyborg: Alright Caty, truth or dare?

Caty: I'm gonna take a truth.

Cyborg: *stumped* Oooh! I got one! Would you rather date somebody rich and good looking, or somebody smart and funny?

Caty: That's an easy one, smart and funny. Ok, I answered the question, now Nudge, truth or dare?

Nudge: I'll take a dare.

Caty: Ok, sit on Iggy's lap for the next ten turns.

Nudge: O...k... *reluctantly sits on Iggy's lap*

Iggy: This is rather awkward.

Nudge: Yeah.

Caty: Nudge, your turn!

Nudge: Ok, Emmet, truth or dare?

Emmet: I'm man enough to take a dare from a little girl.

Nudge: Alright, let Fang apply lipstick on you, while he's blindfolded!

Emmet: *gulp*

Fang: _Why me?_ *lipsticks Emmet while blindfolded*

Emmet: Are you done yet?

Fang: Yeah.

Everyone: *giggling hysterically*

Emmet: *opens eyes* *sees self in Alice's compact mirror* GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT DID YOU DO?

Fang: I did my part of the dare.

Emmet: *points at lipstick covered face* Did you **have** to use **this **much?

Fang: *shrugs*

Nudge: *giggling hysterically* Emmet, pick a victim.

Wadi: YEEEEEEEEES! I can get dressed again! *puts clothes back on*

Emmet: Jack, truth or dare?

Jack: I'll take a dare.

Emmet: You're immortal, right?

Jack: Yes, but isn't that a truth?

Emmet: No, your dare is that you have to kill yourself, twice.

Jack: *pales* I can't do that!

Caty: Emmet, this is getting to long. Just hit his eject button.

Emmet: Sure. *hits Captain Jack on back*

Jack: *disintegrates*

Ed: *shudders in milk bottle* That looked like what happened to Al when...

Winry: *removes Ed from milk bottle* *hugs Ed* He's not dead.

Ed: Yeah, but it just made me remember what happened.

Caty: Uuhm, since Jack is no longer with us...

Ed: *shudders*

Caty: *backtracks* Since Jack is no longer in the VR, Emmet will select another target.

Emmet: Alright Azelf, truth or dare?

Azelf: I'm gonna take a dare.

Caty: Azelf, you might not want to do that.

Azelf: Too late, I already did.

Emmet: Ok, you have to make out with green boy over there, and his girlfriends can beat you up if they want to.

Caty: I tried to warn you.

Azelf: *takes deep breath* Ok. *makes out with BB*

Terra: *beats up Azelf*

Raven: _Girlfriend__**s**__?_

Azelf: **Owie**, Edward, truth or, **ouch**, dare?

Edward: I'll take a dare.

Azelf: Ok, you have to, **ow**, slow dance with, **ouch**, Raven to, **ooh that stings**, a cheesy song, **ow ow ow**, for 3 minutes. *passes out*

Caty: Azelf! *runs over to Azelf*

[Zola: *strikes silly pose*]

Terra: Geez, I didn't hit her **that** hard with those rocks.

Caty: You hit her with **boulders**!

BB: *rubs head* Hey Terra, that kinda hurt!

Raven: Terra, not everybody is as resilient as BB. Next time use something smaller.

Terra: Alright! Geez.

Edward: What song do I have to dance to?

*Kiss the girl (from little mermaid) starts playing*

Raven: Guess I don't really have much of a choice do I?

Zo: Ready, set, go! *starts timer*

Three minutes later

Zo: Time's up!

Raven: Thank god! Now would you **please** stop that song?

*music stops*

Edward: Ok, Robin, truth or dare?

Robin: Truth. _As long as he doesn't ask for my most romantic moment I'm fine._

Edward: *reading Robin's mind* _This should be fun._ Ok Robin, what's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to you?

Robin: _Shit! I forgot that he can read minds! I suppose I have to answer though._ I would have to say it was when Starfire and I kissed in Tokyo. *blushes*

Titans: *smile*

Robin: *blushes* Ok, Bella, truth or dare?

Bella: Dare.

Robin: *smirk* _I can't get him, but I can get his wife!_ You have to kiss one of the girls in the circle.

Bella: *death glare at Robin*

[YET ANOTHER MINI CHIBI SOAP OPERA]

[Bella: *comes back to life and kills Robin Chibi*]

[BB and Terra: *attempt to re-kill Bella Chibi*

[Bella: *kills Terra Chibi*]

[BB: *successfully re-kills Bella Chibi* *kills self to join Terra Chibi*]

[END YET ANOTHER MINI CHIBI SOAP OPERA]

Bella: Ok, uuhm... *can't decide*

Caty: *panicking* Help! Azelf just stopped breathing!

Bella: I pick Azelf! *runs over to Azelf*

Caty: Help her! *still panicking*

Bella: I know CPR! *performs CPR*

Azelf: *resumes breathing*

Caty: Thank you! *hugs Bella briefly*

Bella: It was nothing.

Robin: _Well, she did complete the dare._ Ok, that was clever. Your turn.

Bella: *smirk* Ok, Al, truth or dare?

Al: I'll take a truth.

Bella: Hmm, what's your biggest turn on?

Al: I'd have to say it's a pretty face. *blushes*

Edward: So superficial. *rolls eyes*

Bella: Hhm, ok, choose your victim.

Al: Seth, truth or dare?

Seth: I'll take a dare.

Al: Uuh, blindfold yourself and spin around in the middle of the circle, then identify the first person you run into by touch.

Seth: *sarcastically* Oooh! Scaaaaary! *blindfolds self and spins* *stops spinning* whoa, now I'm all dizzy. *stumbles into Caty*

Caty: *remains perfectly motionless*

Seth: *feels hands and shoulders* Caty?

Caty: *unfreezes* Wow, you're good!

Seth: *pulls off blindfold* Whoa, that was just a guess. I couldn't think of anybody else that would freeze up so completely.

Caty: *blushes* Yeah, I do that when I'm scared or surprised or stressed. Stuff like that.

Seth: Ok, who do I pick?

Caty: Actually, I think that the only two left are Angel and Jake.

Seth: huh, ok, so I pick Angel. Truth or dare?

Angel: Truth.

Seth: Ok, who in this circle you do think would most likely date a model?

Angel: Hhm. *reading minds* I'd have to say Caty, she thinks you're hot enough to be a model.

Everybody: *shock*

Caty: *death glare at Angel*

[THE LAST MINI CHIBI SOAP OPERA]

[Caty: *brings Angel Chibi back to life* *re-kills Angel Chibi*]

[Gazzy: *tries to kill Caty Chibi* *accidentally kills Iggy Chibi*]

[Fang: *comes back to life* *kills Gazzy Chibi for killing Iggy Chibi* *kills self to rejoin family*]

[END THE LAST MINI CHIBI SOAP OPERA]

[Zola: *Strikes silly pose*]

Angel: *complete and total innocence face* Jake, truth or dare?

Jake: Dare!

Angel: Hhm, I was going to make you say truth. But here's a dare! You have to let everybody leave a message on your chest with a sharpie!

Jake: I can handle that!

Everyone: *comes and writes on Jake*

Caty: Well, let's end the game. We've all gotten a turn, right?

Everyone: Yep!

Nudge: *gets off Iggy's lap*

Author: Ok, T o D is over now. Whew! *wipes sweat from forehead* That took FOREVER to type! Well, now I get to go back to writing normal. Yay!

[Remaining Chibis: *hold giant funeral for all the poor dead Chibis*]

[Dead Chibis: *come back to life (and Zak M. Chibi appears) 'cuz dey AWESOME CHIBI PEOPLES!*]

Editor: YAY! RANDOM ZOLA CHIBI POSE TIME! [Zola: *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose*]

* * *

**A/N: OMFG! This chapter was 22 pages long!**

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**Holy shit. ****This chapter is 22 pages long in Word. And it would've been longer if I had used my normal format. I'm pretty sure some of this was supposed to be bolded, but there is no way in hell I'm going back to check.**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	9. Chapter 9: The Originals

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

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Fang's POV

A chorus of yeses rings out and I step forward. "Could you dye my hair black?" Caty just nods and grabs a bottle of dye out of thin air. I walk over to the chair and plop down, Alice comes over and starts applying the dye.

I have to wait only five minutes this time before Alice says, "Ok, your hair should be black now." I unwrap the towel from my head and look at myself in Alice's compact. I'm back to normal, sweet.

I gesture to Max to come on over, but she shakes her head and says, "I like my hair this way." I prefer her with brown hair, but when Max makes up her mind it's literally impossible to sway her from her decision. She walks over to me and when she's about ten yards away a boy and girl looking exactly like Link and Zelda walk out of the woods. Not a second later a blur shoots from the trees and grabs both Zelda lookalikes.

The Link boy runs up next to me and I feel the strangest sensation, almost like I'm switching bodies. But I don't concentrate on it for very long because Max cries out, "FANG!" I try to open my wings, but nothing happens! There's something on my back, a sword and shield?

Somebody grabs the sword and I hear them yell out, "ZELDA! I'M COMING!" And then see... myself... run in front of me and leap into the air. The bad guy, who must be a Ganondorf lookalike from what little I've heard about the game, has somehow made a tall tower and is standing on its top. I look up and... whoa. I can see up Max's dress... without conscious thought I pull out a bow and arrow. I fit the arrow and let it fly, it shatters against the wall of the tower a few inches beneath Ganondorf's feet.

"Damn, the arrows won't reach!" I've figured out that somehow the Link lookalike and I swapped bodies and that I can't do anything. But then I think of something, what about a couple of bombs? I pull a few out and hurl them at the base of the tower. They explode, but nothing happens to the tower. Looking up, I am kicking Ganondorf's _butt_ with a wicked-looking sword. Something comes to mind, when we were going to school in Virginia I heard one boy telling another about Link's bomb arrows, maybe that'll do the trick. With hardly a conscious thought, I pull out an arrow with a small bomb on the end.

I shoot several of these in rapid succession and the tower begins to sway. I put my hand back again and pull out a different arrow, one with a flaming tip. This one strikes the teetering tower dead center and something explodes. Huh, guess there was something flammable in there. The tower tilts one way, then another, then makes up its mind and starts to fall. Max's eyes are shut as she hurtles face first towards the ground. I run through and snag both girls before they're crushed. Max throws her arms around me and hugs me hard enough that one of my ribs breaks.

I feel a snap of pain and suddenly I'm back in my own body, wings spread, with a gray skinned Ganondorf lookalike swinging a sword at me. I drop the heavy sword in my hands and fly upwards, dodging his swing. I glance down and see the other dude in green falling to the ground, with the sword headed straight at him. I dive and grab the handle, but instead of holding on to it I toss it over to the side. I flip upright just in time to land, Max runs over to me and hugs me tightly, she's squeezing hard enough to break a normal person's ribs. That's probably what happened when I was in the other body. I put my arms around her and she immediately steps away, typical Max. I glance over to the other dude, he's unconscious and the girl is kneeling next to him, one hand over the broken rib. There's a small gold glow and then she moves her hand to his head. A moment later he opens his eyes and sits up, "Zelda!"

"I'm fine Link." He jumps to his feet and gives her a quick hug before grabbing the sword off of the ground and running at the gray man. They start swinging at each other and then the girl joins in, throwing fireballs at the boy's opponent. Before long the gray man is impaled on the boy's sword, and everyone is staring.

The boy blushes a bit and sheaths his sword, which somehow has absolutely no blood on it. He steps forward and starts explaining, "My name is Link, the girl is Zelda. The man I just killed was called Ganondorf, he's been trying to kill us for quite a while now. I'm sorry if we've caused you any inconvenience, we'll be on our way now."

Azelf just stares at him, then composes herself and says "No, stay, please! We would very much enjoy your company!"

He looks me in the eye and says, "Fang, I have one request." For some reason I do not find it surprising that he knows my name. "Please keep your girlfriend away from me. Zelda **can** heal broken bones, but it is inconvenient."

While he's talking, Max turns her right side to him and opens up her right wing. It flies out and smacks him in the face as he finishes his sentence. I hear a loud **crack** and Max smirks.

Zelda rolls her eyes and I see the golden glow again, Link gets to his feet and rubs his nose, "Ok, I'll just stay away from you."

* * *

A/N: Fang looking up Max's dress is thanks to CallistoHime on DeviantArt. Thank you muchly!

watch?v=110Sy2CBPfo&feature=related

* * *

**(Another mysterious youtube link? WTF?)**

**Well, this chappie is largely thanks to Azelf, I believe.**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	10. Chapter 10: Capture the Flag

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

**Dot want you to know, btw, that this chapter is entirely hers. This is also the point where shit completely stops making sense, but not because she was dictating it. She came up with the whole plot, more or less. It stops making sense because chunks are missing because I never finished writing it.**

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Percy's POV

Now that the _really_ weird thing with Ganondorf has been settled, we need something to do. Annabeth suggests capture the flag, and Zola suggest a snowball fight. We're bickering over which one we'll do when Azelf steps in and suggests that we do both at once. There's a general murmur of agreement and then everyone looks at me. "What?"

Azelf rolls her eyes, "Pick the teams dial up!"

"Ok, how about girls versus boys?"

Zola shakes her head, "Too many couples, wouldn't work."

Caty steps up just then, "Why don't we all just be on the same team?"

I can just tell that Annabeth's rolling her eyes as she says, "Hello miss Brain Freeze. You need **two** teams to play."

Caty looks thoughtful at this, then . /she puts her hand to her ear. "Boo, set up a laser barrier would you?" She nods and a laser fence appears between us and the other snow castle, "Now for some enemies, Boo, send in the villains would you?" There's a poof of green smoke that clears to reveal a rather large crowd of people I don't know, and the Minotaur! I unsheathe my sword and Annabeth vanishes, a moment later she reappears on the other side of the fence with Angel, Terra, Winry and Zelda.

Palm Tree walks out of the crowd, and on my periphery I see BB pick up a large hunk of ice. But my attention is focused on Palm Tree and Annabeth as the crazy dude starts to speak. "Ok, here are the rules. You have to get back these hostages, without letting everyone get knocked out." At 'hostages' he viciously kicks Terra in the ribs and her eyes close, when they don't open again BB hurls the ice he's been holding. It flies straight through the laser grid, right at Palm Tree. But the green haired weirdo simply bats the frozen projectile away, shattering it with a loud **crack**. The girls are tossed into the arms of winged wolf men and BB starts screaming Terra's name as the crowd heads into their fort.

Terra's POV

A laser grid appears and then there's a poof of green smoke on the other side of it. The smoke clears and Robin tenses up at my side, he must see the Slade Bots too. Then I'm on the ground, trussed up tight with a gag in my mouth, thoroughly disoriented. Then I hear Palm Tree start talking, it sounds like he's right above me. "Ok, here are the rules. You have to get back these hostages, without letting everyone get knocked out." At 'hostages' he kicks me viciously breaking a few ribs. I close my eyes and hear what sounds like ice cracking, then I'm picked up and tossed into a pair of rough, hairy arms. The impact jars my injuries, and I'm near certain that one of my lungs is punctured. It hurts like hell to even breathe, and the last thing I hear as I succumb to the creeping blackness is BB frantically screaming my name.

Am I dead? Maybe, I didn't think death would hurt this much. I'm standing on a road, one way leads to a world of pain and cold and fear. The other points to a pair of gleaming gates, beyond which is a utopia. I take a step towards the gates, towards the beckoning figures of my family, but wait. There's something I need to go the other way for; a person, a boy; a boy whose hair, skin and eyes are green, what was his name? What's **my** name? Was his name Beast Boy? Yes, it was, I need to stay for him. But I can't remember why.

A memory comes to me, the green boy placing a ring and a note in front of me. I was a statue, was I dead then? No, I wasn't. The note said, "Will you marry me?" I remember feeling warmth through my stone shell, and a small bit of power once more in my veins. Not enough to break the shell, but enough to arrange some pebbles into the word yes on the note. He came back a while later and saw the rocks. He smiled, and I felt more warmth, more power. I couldn't hear him, but he stepped up next to my stone prison and hugged me. Then he put the ring on a chain around my neck and a blue one around his own. I fall back from the memory, filled with determination. I can't abandon the green boy, he loves me, and I love him.

I can't be dead, I _**won't**_ be dead. I look down towards the gates and suddenly they seem much less inviting. That's not the way for me to go, I turn my back on it and start running towards the pain. As I get closer, an icy cold presses into my back, but I pay it no heed. I continue on, hardly slowing at all when it suddenly feels like one of my ribs is protruding into my left lung. I ignore that pain too and keep walking towards the light. I must reach the green boy, and if I have to endure this, I'll do it. I reach the light and see that it is emanating from the figure of a girl, she has three broken ribs and shackles connect her wrists to her ankles. Her hair is lank and her breathing shallow, is this me? I steel myself, no matter how much it hurts, I have to reach him. I reach out and touch the girl, remembering. My name is Terra.

BB's POV

Terra suddenly appears in front of the Slade Bots, and Palm Tree steps forward as I pick up a piece of ice. I'm so focused on Terra's terrified eyes that I don't even hear what he says. But I do see it when he kicks her in the ribs; when her eyes don't open again, I hurl the ice straight through the red beams and right at his face. He just bats it aside, shattering it with a loud crack. Then she's tossed into the arms of one of the wolf men like a sack of potatoes. I lose it then and start to run at the barrier, I don't care if I'll be cut to pieces; Terra might be dying over there! Cyborg and Starfire grab me, keeping me from her. I completely lose my head then and start screaming her name. By her complete and total lack of response, she could very well be dead.

The other team turns and enters their castle, and I go limp. My friends let go of me and I collapse, but after a second I get back on my feet. Terra isn't dead, I would know if she was. As Robin leads us inside I glance over my shoulder. She's alive in there somewhere, I just know it.

We congregate in a large room; The Monday girls are over on one side of the room with almost everyone, obviously demonstrating something. I glance around and see Percy, Link, Ed and Jacob sitting around something. Percy beckons me over and says, "Here's the plan for the rescue mission. The Monday girls want to play defense, taking down as many enemies as possible without actually leaving the fort. We don't think that Terra and the others will survive long enough for that to be a legit strategy. They're all going to be on top, shooting, this should give us a decent chance to get inside their fort through this entrance and find the girls." At the word 'this' he points to a small side door.

I'm listening so intently to his plan that when Gazzy whispers, "What're talking about?" in my ear, I jump about an inch. Gazzy spots the marked up map and looks Percy in the eye, "When can we leave?"

Ten minutes later we're in the trees, waiting for the fence to come down. Percy and Link are gripping their swords so tightly that their knuckles are white, Gazzy and Jake are fiddling with twigs and Ed is scratching circles in the snow. I'm sitting and waiting, watching for a change in the laser grid. When it starts to go down we all stand up, and as soon as it's low enough we jump over and run for the other side of the field, keeping in the trees until we're behind the other fort. We head for the side door that Percy had pointed out, only realizing once we're there that there are three doors.

I swear loudly and suddenly two floating unicorns appear above our heads, waving their legs like they have no bones. In unison they squeal out, "We gotta be schneaky Percy! Yeah! Schneaky!"

"WTF? Shut up! Go back to your YouTube videos! And there's no way I can do that with my legs!" The accursed creatures whinny again and then disappear. "Come on, let's go get the girls."

We all nod and then Link says, "Which one do I open?"

"Try the one on the left." Gazzy looks intently at the doors and then nods, "Yep, definitely the one on the left." Link grabs the handle of that one and pulls with all his might, it swings open and the air is filled with the savage barking of rabid dog/lizard hybrids. We all get behind the door and push, forcing it to close. "Ok, maybe _**not**_ the left." Link the grabs the handle of the middle one and pulls, when nothing happens Gazzy says, "Try pushing it." Link does, and the door swings open on a common room filled with Erasers and Slade Bots.

The near normalcy of the scene is both frightening and hilarious. A bunch of them are playing games, some are watching TV and a few are reading. They all look at us blankly and Link slams the door, "Ok, that was weird and scary. This door better be the right one." With some hesitation, he pulls on the door, when nothing happens he pushes on it. Still nothing happens, so he whips out a bomb and sets it down by the door. We all know the destructive power of bombs, so we follow Link to what must be a safe distance. The bombs go off and we go back, the door is still standing!

Fortunately, the frame was made of ice, so while the door still stands; it can be knocked over easily. I shoulder the door and it falls over, revealing a short corridor that turns right almost immediately. We all look at each other, here goes nothing. As we enter I think to myself, I'm coming Terra, I'm coming.

Annabeth's POV

Our captors bring us inside and Angel begins to scream. The wolf man holding her snarls savagely and when she fails to shut up he slams her head against the wall. I hear a sickening crack and she abruptly stops screaming, in my experience, that's never a good thing. They throw us into a room with a woman that has a funny looking tattoo and an evil smile. "Ladies, we can't have you bringing weapons in, now can we?" Her smile grows and she extends her nails into daggers, they stab through my shirt and it falls apart. Damn, she's dangerous! She tears all of our clothes to shreds and I wind up being the one supporting Terra. She's the only one allowed to keep anything, and that one thing is a delicate green ring on a fine chain around her neck.

We're given clothes, pale blue jumpsuits that cling to our skin unpleasantly. Once we're dressed, the door that we were thrown in through opens to admit four wolf men. They shackle our wrists and ankles before throwing us over their shoulders and heading for a cage. Terra and Angel's carrier is being extra rough with them, jostling their injuries as much as possible. By the time we've reached the cage I've heard two more of Terra's ribs break, as well as Angel's arm and possibly one of her wings.

The wolves toss us into our cage and lock the door, and then one of the Halloween bots keys in a password and a lever comes out of the wall. He pulls it to the right and pushes it back into the wall, then another keypad comes out and he inputs another password. As soon as he finishes our cage shoots up to the top of the hollow tower, where there are only four slim poles supporting the roof. They leave and before shutting the door he does something that makes spikes of ice come up to cover the floor. Looks like they _really_ don't want us to leave; I try to get to my feet and the cage sways crazily from side to side, forcing me back to my knees.

We sit there in silence for a while before Zelda speaks up, "This isn't normal."

Nessie snorts, "Yeah, nothing about this is exactly _**normal**_. I mean, who goes around getting thrown into Plexiglas cages every day?"

"No, I mean the length of time that we've been here. Link should have come for me by now."

I look out of the tower and my gaze falls to the covered maze below. "I think they're here, look."

Winry looks around and focuses on the maze as well, "Maybe, think of how hard it would be to find your way through that maze if you couldn't see out."

"Hhhmm, you're right. Jake wouldn't think to try breaking down the walls."

"Ed wouldn't either."

"I highly doubt that Link would think of it."

"There's no chance at all that Seaweed Brain would think to try it, and BB doesn't seem to be exactly clever. Our only chance is that one of Angel's siblings thinks of it." I sigh, it's such a slim chance that it's not even worth betting on it. "Hey, Zelda."

"Yes?"

"That healing thing, can you use it on Terra and Angel?"

"I can try." She scoots over to the unconscious girls and tentatively puts her hand on Angel's head. She waits for a second, but nothing happens. "It would appear that there is something here which prevents me from using my powers. We can only wait and pray that they will be alright."

BB's POV

We reach yet another junction and I groan, how are we supposed to find our way to the girls if we can't even navigate the hallways? Percy turns right without hesitation, keeping his hand on the wall and muttering to himself. I glance at the almost oppressively low ceiling and then face forward again. Percy takes another right and lets out a wordless shout. He immediately backs around the corner, sword drawn, slicing at a bunch of the things that Gazzy called Erasers. I shift to a wolf and leap at the things, ripping their heads off, letting my inner beast rage out at them. I tear one to shreds and leap to the next one; his head comes off easily and hot blood begins to pool on the floor.

Jacob goes wolf too, and Percy falls back, letting us do the job. There doesn't seem to be an end to them, but right now, I don't really care. Right now it feels good to sink my pointed teeth into their muscled legs, to snap their bones in my strong jaws. I'm dripping with blood, all theirs. We reach another junction and turn right, into another hoard of Erasers. These ones have guns, but only one of them actually manages to shoot before we attack. The bullets whip past my ear and bury themselves in Jacob's shoulder, forcing him to the ground. Percy leaps over him, and we begin to rip our way through.

Before long though, he's taken four bullets to his right shoulder and another five in his legs. A bullet from the last remaining Eraser whistles past my ear and finds purchase in Percy's hand. He screams in pain and his sword clatters to the floor, his hand no longer able to grasp it. I lunge at the creature and pin him with my paws, feeling a few ribs snap when he hits the ground. He smiles maniacally up at me as he puts the barrel of his gun to my chest, and pulls the trigger.

Annabeth's POV

I hear the approaching hum of a small vehicle and open my eyes to see. A man dressed similarly to the Halloween bots heading towards us on a floating bike. Winry is humming a song to herself and I hear the sound of metal clanking on Plexiglas in time to the beat. The man pulls up next to the cage and glares at Winry, "How do you have a wrench?"

"None of your business, but I'll tell you if you let me check out your fancy bike!" I look at her, confused. She wants to take apart his, whatever it is? The man says nothing, just comes closer, inspecting Winry to see if he can figure out how she kept her wrench through a strip search. His curiosity brings him into the cage, his vehicle tethered to the wall. Winry stands up and looks the man in the one eye visible through his mask. Without breaking eye contact, she swings the wrench at his head and hits with enough force that he flies into the wall and slumps to the floor, unconscious.

The cage is surprisingly stable, maybe due to his bike thing. I pick up Angel and walk to the open door, where his bike is idling. I gently lay Angel down on the back and get in the driver's seat. The other girls file after me and as they climb on I unhook the tether. Zelda carefully arranges Terra on the floor of the cage and climbs on last. As soon as we're all safely on the ground, I'll send Winry up to get her.

But Zelda's weight causes the bike, which was sinking already, to drop swiftly to the floor. I pull the handlebars to the left and we crash through the wall, skidding along the floor and through two more walls before coming to a complete halt. I fall off and then get to my feet; unfortunately, it would seem that the bike has been fully demolished. This means that Winry won't be able to get Terra. I help the others to their feet and then spot a feminine figure heading towards us through the fog of snow.

Caty's POV

As soon as the laser grid went down, BB, Jacob, Percy, Ed, and Link charge the snow palace. I can see them from my perch atop the tower, b

BB's POV

I flinch, expecting death to come in the swift form of a bullet. But all that happens is a small click, the thing starts swearing and I rip its head off. As the gun falls to the floor I see a small irregularity in the barrel, a small piece of bullet is showing where it shouldn't. I look a bit closer and see what saved my life, a jammed bullet. A shot flies right over my head and I leap back into the fray, before long we've removed the threat. I shift back to human; my hair is soaked with blood, as are my clothes. I punch the wall and my fist goes right through.

Curiosity shakes me out of my blood-thirsty rage and I punch the wall a few more times, widening the hole. I say to the others, "Go on, I'll catch up" and climb through the hole. I hear their footsteps fade and look around. I see a tall tower off to my right, the very top is supported only a few slim poles, so I can easily see the cage hanging there. There are only two people in there, and Terra must be one of them! I shift into a bird, but I'm too soaked with blood to fly, so I shift into a monkey instead. Looks like I won't be following after the others after all!

I climb up one of the walls and turn back into myself before starting towards the tower. After a while I reach the base and am presented with a problem, how do I get up there if I can't fly? I'm standing there, thinking, when I hear the sound of gunfire behind me. I turn and see the wall of a tunnel; I hear a yelp and turn T-Rex to break down the wall. I stomp on quite a few Slade Bots before they're all gone and it's safe to turn back into myself. I shrink down and Percy limps over to me, holding his shoulder. "Thanks BB; we would've been dead for sure."

"No problem, hey, do you have any idea how I can get up there?"

Ed snorts, "Hello genius. I'm an Alchemist. I'll just make a door to the inside." He claps his hands and touches the wall of the tower, a fancy looking door appears and Ed yanks it open. I look in, but can't see anything past the forest of icy stalactites, or are they stalagmites? He claps his hands again and pulls down the spikes, revealing the perfectly smooth inside of the tower. I back up a few steps and turn into a hawk to see who exactly is in the cage. One of them _is_ Terra, but she doesn't look to good, her face is pale and I can clearly see two ribs protruding from her chest. I briefly glance at the other person and my blood turns to ice, not _him_. He took her away from me once already, he won't take her again.

He pulls a staff from his belt and extends it, not bothering to hurry. I turn back into myself and run over to the bots, where it doesn't take long to locate an intact gun. I whirl around and see him preparing to bring the staff down on her head. My vision clouds over red and I pull the trigger, sending a storm of bullets at Slade. Not one of them hits him, but a moment after the gun runs out of bullets, his staff breaks. He looks at his now empty hand, and then the cage splits cleanly in two, sending him plummeting to the floor. I see Ed clap his hands and slam them down, and then I hear the alchemic crackle and a loud thud.

I walk into the tower and look up; Terra is lying exactly where she was before. I glare at Ed, "Make me some stairs, **now**." He blinks and I growl, that makes him clap his hands together and transmute stairs all around the tower, spiraling up to the top before branching out to form a second floor.

I run up the stairs, morphing into a cheetah to go as fast as I can.

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**Do the Saturdays just vanish in this chapter? I think they do...**

**Wait, where's the rest of the chapter? Oh. I think I started writing it on here, and it vanished when I destroyed the original. Oh wow, how is it so long when it's only 2/3rds of the chapter?**

**Pretty much what happens is that BB beats the shit out of Slade, rescues Terra, there's shitty fluff. Zola gets the girls playing Parcheesi while they wait for the boys, and assures them that everything will be fine. Then the bad guys win, and FMA takes over the fic.**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	11. Chapter 11: 33

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

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Nessie [Editor: RENESMEE YOU IDIOT!] PoV

As they go down the line giving out numbers, the Palm Tree that calls itself Envy explains the new system. Our names will be replaced by the numbers being given out right now, once we've all got numbers, we'll each be chosen by a 'Homunculus' in a method much like the picking of teams in sports. As Mr. Monster finishes explaining the system, the lady who strip-searched myself and the rest of Team A walks in, dragging Zola by the collar. Behind her are the two that Palmy called Wrath and Pride, Wrath is holding a sword loosely in his hand, a sword covered in Zola's blood. Zola looks very beat up and is having trouble breathing as Monster walks up to her and says, "Ready to die, insect?"

She blinks defiantly, if that's possible, and nods. Monster smirks and turns his hand into a blade, plunging it into Zola's back at the exact location of the button. She goes limp, her words ringing in my head as Angel and I scream in horror, _I can't assist you myself._ We can only hope that she had enough time to call someone. Monster sneers at her limp body, and kicks it maliciously a few times before gesturing to one of the robots. The mechanical man nods and puts her over his shoulder before walking out of the room, presumably to dump our leader's body outside.

I let my mind wander as Monster starts explaining some big, fancy looking cage type thing, only coming back to the present when he says, "I choose 23, the short one." Ed starts swearing his head off and I see Max cover Angel and Gazzy's ears. I close my eyes, and when I open them he's sitting in the middle of the cage, curled up in the fetal position as a cloud of red vapor is drawn from his body. The humming stops and the vapor is drawn down a drain in the bottom of the cage. Ed sits up, face pale, and doesn't even try to resist as two robots throw him into one of four holding cells along the wall, specifically, the one labeled **Envy**. Monster turns to Lust and says, "Your turn."

She smiles wickedly, scanning quickly down the line. "I'll take number 24." The same two bots throw Winry into the cage and turn it on. She begins to scream, and Ed attempts to transmute the wall of his cage into a door. When nothing happens he tries again, when he realizes that he can do nothing, he sits down cross legged on the floor and hangs his head. I can see tears running down his face when he glances up at his wife, wearing a tortured expression nearly identical to the one on my father's face when mom put me on Jacob's back during our confrontation with the Volturi. A minute or so later, Monster gestures to the bots to turn off the machine. The hum dies down, leaving Winry on the floor of the cage, her screams now only agonized whimpers.

Ed looks up as the bots grab Winry by the wrists and drag her into Lust's cage, which shares a wall with his own. The robots leave her in the middle of the floor and walk back out as Pride says, "25" Al is thrown in and his screams echo off the walls for a bit while red mist is drawn from him. His limp, pale form is thrown roughly into Pride's cage and Wrath steps forward, looking at us speculatively.

"I'll take 10, but let him have his powers, I'll like the challenge." Envy tosses a bag to the robots and one pulls out a collar. Terra has been clinging to BB this whole time, for physical support as well as moral, and he's had his arms around her like a shield, but the robot pries them apart, forcing Raven to hold her up. The collar snaps around BB's neck and he flies into Wrath's cage, landing with a heavy **thud**. Envy selects Robin next, and he manages to take out a bunch of bots before being thrown into the cage. He staggers to his feet as the humming begins and manages to stay upright the entire time, not a single sound escaping his lips as the red mist is pulled from his pores. To my surprise, weapons are drawn from his belt as the machine continues humming. The noise stops and ten robots enter the cage, only two of them make it out. Lust's next pick is #12, Raven, who also destroys a bunch of robots before having her power sucked.

As Pride deliberates which one of us to choose next, Raven moves Winry to the wall where Ed is sitting. He sticks his arms through the chain link divider and holds her as close as he can, I tear my gaze away from them as Pride says, "11" and Angel starts screaming in my head. _SHIT SHIT SHIT! Terra's in no condition to be doing anything! Somebody help her!_ Apparently she sent this to everyone, because Nudge leaps for Terra and winds up in the machine as it turns on.

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**Envy**: Ed, Robin, Iggy, Fang, Edward, Jacob, Azelf. **Use**: torture

**Lust**: Winry, Raven, Starfire, Max, Rosalie, Alice, Annabeth, Wadi. **Use**: maids. _Alice is left her visions so she can see what Lust wants before she asks._

**Pride**: Al, Terra, Angel, Gazzy, Emmett, Nessie, [Editor: *bops Author on head* It's RENESMEE!] ok, Renesmee, Seth, Zelda. **Use**: underlings.

**Wrath**: BB, Nudge, Gemma, Bella, Jasper, Zak S, Percy, Cyborg. **Use**: punching bags. _None of these people lose their powers, Wrath likes a challenge._

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Ness [Editor: RENESMEE!]

Renesmee's POV

As Cyborg is shepherded into Wrath's cage by the last remaining robot, a tall, cloaked human sweeps into the room. "That puts me with Envy then." I smile, Zola had time, this, this # 33. Is the help she's sent us.

Annabeth's POV

As Lust lead us to a room with a bunch of clothes, I reflect on how we all wound up in this position. When Angel was thrown into the power cage, Max flipped out and destroyed a bunch of robots before being tossed into the cage herself. Raven, she took out a bunch too, and so did Starfire. Alice was allowed to bypass the machine, and the robots, entirely, on the premise of using her future sight to tell what Lust wants before she asks. Winry, Wadi and myself hardly took out any at all, but my train of thought is interrupted when Lust leads us into the room. As she begins a strip search, much gentler than the first one, I find myself thinking of Percy. I wonder if he's alright, he may be strong, but I have no doubt of the kind of treatment he'll receive from a man called Wrath.

She finishes the search and leaves with our clothes and as the door shuts I hear her mutter something about Envy interfering with her dress code. I look around the room, taking in for the first time the racks of baby blue bikini tops and pastel pink miniskirts. Along the walls are shelves upon shelves of high heels, baby blue, three inch stilettos with overly long pastel pink ribbons. Starfire walks over to the racks and pulls out a top and skirt, "We should, get dressing, correct?"

We follow her lead and find clothes that fit us, I zip the mini skirt closed and it fits snugly, much too short and frilly for my liking. The bikini top is next; it too fits tightly and is far too skimpy for my liking. Winry is looking good in the new clothes, and so are Starfire, Alice and Rosalie. But the rest of us aren't enjoying this uniform very much, Wadi looks to be about as peeved as I am, and Max and Raven look downright furious. I turn to the shoes and select a pair that are labeled as my size, they fit comfortably, and the ribbons lace up most of my leg, like wearing tights. I stand up and come perilously close to doing a face plant, three inch stilettos are most definitely _**not**_ the type of heels you're supposed to start with. The door opens as I'm walking around the room, trying to get the hang of this outrageous form of footwear. Lust leans casually against the door frame, beckoning us with one finger.

We stumble along after her into a Grecian themed room that I instantly spot inconsistencies in. The column shape is a completely different era than the furniture, and there was no such thing a chair cushion in ancient Greece. Something wooden is shoved into my hands and my grip tightens around it, my eyes focus on what's in front of me, a fan made of palm fronds and peacock feathers with a wooden handle. I sigh and wobble over to stand in the proper position by Lust's chair, the fan is yet another inconsistency, there was nothing of this style at any point in Grecian history. She sends Winry to get her some strawberries, and Wadi to go retrieve Ed an Al from their respective homunculi. Once she's finished taunting the boys, slapping them around a little and insulting them in any way possible, she has us slide poles under her chair and carry her around to talk with the other homunculi.

She tries to hide it, but I can tell that it pains Raven deeply to see Beast Boy in his current condition. Wadi is harder to read, but I'm fairly certain that she's relieved when we leave Wrath, Zak seemed none the worse for wear. But Percy, he was half unconscious in a corner of the room, lying in a pool of what I'm fairly sure was his own blood.

BB had been on his feet, a hard determination in his eyes. From the looks of it, I'd say that Wrath fought, and beat, Percy first, and is now fighting Beast Boy. The door to Pride's room is in front of us now, and Winry ducks out carefully to knock on his door. She slides back into place, setting the pole on her red shoulder before the door is opened by none other than a tired looking Gazzy with whip marks on his bare back. Max in front of me tenses up at the sight of her baby brother so beat up. And as Gazzy turns around to lead us into the room he puts one hand behind his back, two fingers together. This means nothing to me, but apparently it does to Max because she loosens up a tiny bit. As we enter the room I see all of the people selected by Pride straining under heavy stone blocks, hauling them up what looks like a half completed miniature pyramid.

Winry's POV

We gently set Lust's chair down in the Grecian room, most of us tired after carrying her around what seemed to be most of the fort. I'm the only one who isn't yet used to the heels, so Lust snaps a collar on me and sends me to collect Ed and Al for more torture. I walk into Pride's room first, as much as I would like some time alone with Ed, the collar won't allow it. An exhausted looking Gazzy opens the door, more whip marks marring his fair skin. He leads me into the main room, where the others are now constructing a scale model of the Eiffel tower. Pride sees me and sends out a shadow hand to bring Al away from the others, consequentially leaving the weight of an entire beam on Zelda's slim shoulders. A collar is snapped on Al and he's sent out with me to collect Ed. Tears pool in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall, refuse to break his promise to me. Al puts a comforting arm around me, but it's not the arm I need, not the familiar metal one that I've so painstakingly maintained for so many years, not _Ed's_. We reach the imposing black door to Envy's room and I knock, the sound echoing ominously.

Envy himself answers the door, wearing weird, brown leather clothes, with a red cylinder hanging by a chain around his wrist. He sees me and smiles, "I'll get the midget." I see Ed hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the room, and though I know he heard Envy's words, he doesn't react beyond lifting his head a little. This worries me, almost more than the fact that he's wearing next to nothing and covered in blood that must be his own. As Envy walks over and unchains my husband, he continues speaking in a conversational tone. "I heard about this book, Legend of the Seeker. Apparently there's something in there called a Mord Sith, has the coolest torture methods I've ever heard of. This thing called an Aegiel, causes excruciating pain, and there's not a thing the victim can do about it!" The tears threaten to overflow again, I've read that book, and the Mord Sith's methods of torture are, in fact, horrible. Envy removes the chains from Ed and pulls him over to me, "Take the midget, He'll stay conscious enough for Lust to torture him."

Ed staggers to his feet, despite the pus filled welts that cover their soles, and Envy drags the Aegiel across his forehead before slamming the door. Ed sags against me as the resulting bang echoes through the hall, "Hey, Win, don't cry. I'm fine. That bitch didn't hurt me at all." His lie is ridiculously transparent as blood covers his entire body, accompanied by pus filled welts and the occasional burn. the collar will give me a huge electric shock if I speak, so I simply pull his automail arm over my shoulder and start walking. The amount of our skin that's touching me makes me want to whack him with my wrench, but I know that I wouldn't be able to bring myself to hit him in his condition, even if I had my wrench with me. Al silently puts Ed's other arm over his own shoulder, and in this fashion we make our way back to Lust's room. As we get close, I see Percy and Fang walking back to their respective prisons.

Upon entering the room I find an embarrassed looking Max and Annabeth beginning to lift Lust's chair onto their shoulders. Lust elongates her nails and uses them to backhand Ed and Al, "You took far too long, next time, come faster."

Three hours later

Lust's POV

I throw a curse at Envy over my shoulder, damn it! 24 said that numbers 23 and 25 were missing, and now Pride and Envy have confirmed it. I lash out, my nails gouging six inch deep furrows in the wall. The red curtain to my room pulls aside before I touch it, and I backhand whichever maid did it. My gaze whirls around the room, checking that my servants are all in the right spots. My mental tallier checks off the ninth one and I turn away a slight bit before freezing in place. I've only got eight maids, and that ninth one is rather short. 23 stands bewildered in the middle of the room, "But, you just left with Al! You said you were bringing him to Envy!" His eyes are frantic, his face being the only thing that can move freely.

My nails shoot out and catch him in the shoulder, pinning him to the nearest column. "Don't lie to me you midget, where is 25?"

His eyes narrow, and it is clear to see that Envy's brutality has had almost no effect on this slave. He bellows out, "**WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN UNDERSIZED MAY FLY!**" I twist my hand just the slightest bit, causing the nails embedded in his shoulder to rip through muscle, stopping only when they hit bone. Something hard hits the back of my head, and my nails tear out of the top of 23's shoulder. I spin around, ready to face, I'm not sure what I expect, but it most certainly isn't what I see.

33's POV

As I pull Alphonse from Lust's room, Ed glares after me furiously. A pity I can't tell him it's all a hoax, but the look on Lust's face should be just about priceless. I quickly pull my 'prisoner' down a maze of narrow, red-brown corridors, reaching the last corner before the door with surprising speed. Alphonse is withdrawn, terrified of where I'm taking him, although the corridors could be a part of it. Just before turning the corner, I pull down my hood and lift the mask. His eyes go wide, then return to normal as he smirks, "I didn't think to see _you _again, not _here_."

I flip the mask down again and pull up my hood, "Yes, it's me. But you can't tell anyone." I smirk, "Zola doesn't want 33's identity to become public knowledge." He nods and I pull him around the corner, black boots tapping lightly as we walk over the fallen door and through its destroyed frame. Within a minute we're back in Alpha fort, "Aly, go, Pride's room." The normal sized girl nods and salutes before sprinting out of the room with an insane grin on her face, brown hair flying like a flag behind her.

"Colonel..."

I cut him off before he says my name, "This is HQ, but that doesn't mean its not bugged. Sir will suffice."

"Alright. Sir, why was _she_ here?"

"That was Aly Emerald, She is part of The Plan, and is here to ensure that there are 32 people inside Omega fort at the time of phase 3." He is quite obviously confused, so I begin to explain. "The Plan has 6 phases, phase 1 was to lose the war, an activation phase. Phase 2 was to rescue you."

His brow furrows at this. "Why me? Why not brother?"

I smirk, "It wasn't FullMetal because Zola wrote it." I reach into my pocket, "oh, and before I forget, I stole this after you came out of that machine. I wonder what will happen if I blow it up?" He squeaks and his face pales as I throw the canister over his head. He dives to the floor as my fingers snap, the canister exploding into a million little pieces.

He yelps in shock and leaps a full foot into the air, an impressive feat for someone lying down. "Sir! That was dangerous!"

I wave my hand dismissively, "I wouldn't have blown it up if your head was in the way. And did it do anything?"

He closes his eyes and puts his hands together slowly before placing them tentatively on the floor. There's a crackle of alchemic energy, and his eyes fly open to see the miniature lion that he just made from the floor. "Wow" he breathes, "Were there any more of these?"

I nod, "there was one for each person that went through the machine. Is it important?"

Alphonse nods fervently, "Yes, if we can find and destroy all the other canisters, then we can get everybody's powers back to them!" He leaps to his feet, "What's the best way to get back into Omega fort?"

I shake my head, "No, we have to stick with the plan. I'm going to see if phase 3 is complete yet, guard HQ while I'm gone." He nods, and I step out the side of the fort into the oddly warm winter wonderland. I reach up and remove the eye patch, I don't need it here. Hawkeye would say that it's an improvement, and she'd be right. But since I look good in pretty much anything, that's not really saying much.

I open up a tree and step in, placing one foot on the first rung and carefully closing the hidden door before descending. I climb down twenty five rungs, then let go, falling about a foot before my feet hit the ground. I take off my glove and lay one hand on the wall, letting my fingers find the groove that continues down the length of the passage. It takes only a minute or so, it's rather hard to tell, but I reach the end of the tunnel. My bare hand finds the switch, and I pull my glove on before flipping it.

The wall rotates silently, admitting me to Envy's dungeon, where he is bludgeoning FullMetal with a short, red, metal rod. I knock on the wall, and Envy walks around the nearly unconscious boy before seeing me. The look on his face suggests that he knows who I am, so I shoot him a glare that says, _tell and die_. He freezes in place, and I take this opportunity to look over FullMetal. His right shoulder has taken quite a bit of damage, including some to the port of Winry's precious Automail. I smirk and touch a red pendant to the boy's shoulder, fixing it in a flash.

I pick up the red rod the Envy was bludgeoning FullMetal with, being careful to hold it only by the chain. I swing it until it's just a blur, then release it, sending the thick piece of metal into Envy's head. He dies instantly, which annoys me a little, he should suffer for killing Hughes. As he pulls the weapon from his head, I walk out into the hallway to check on the status of phase 3. A quick glance into each room reveals that all of Team A have left their masters, so I head quickly and quietly for the spot they were told to meet at.

I reach the door to the antechamber of the room where the canisters are being stored, "Team A, is phase three ready to be initiated?" Zelda nods, and I motion for Aly to stay outside as a guard. Winry spins a wrench in her hand, and I notice that the head has a lot of dried blood on it. "What happened to your wrench?"

"I'll tell you later, right now, it's just another tool." With that she swings the heavy tool and the door falls over, revealing a room filled with chimeras and robots going about eerily normal activities. There's a half second of stunned silence, then they leap at us, my flames roast the wolf chimeras in a second, but the robots are harder to stop. We defeat most of them, then somebody dumps a bucket of water over my head.

I spin around and come face to face with Envy. My fingers snap, but it's no good, my gloves are fully soaked. He grins his trademark evil smirk, and kicks me backwards into the rest of Team A before transforming into his true form. I scramble to my feet and try to get the rest of the team up so we can all get out of this tiny room. Aly jumps in from the corridor and grabs my wrist, yanking me from the room. "Stop! I have to get them out of there!"

Aly ignores my protests, oh how I would love to roast her right now, but I can't, because Envy drenched my gloves. She releases my wrist, "it's alright, we're out of ear shot, you can drop the act now."

I brush past her, "That wasn't an act, I really do wish that I could have saved them, that phase 3 wasn't to get them caught."

Aly nods knowingly, "I know sir, but right now we need to get back to Al."

I hear her voice change when she says Alphonse's name, "What, you like him?"

She nods absentmindedly, "Uh-huh, he's cute."

When we reach the fort I'm busy planning. Now that phase 3 is complete, I need Al to watch and report the completions of phases 4 and 5. Aly and I enter the fort and I bark out, "Alphonse, follow me." I walk outside and put a dog whistle to my lips, expecting the chimera from earlier to pad out of the trees. To my surprise, Black Hayate comes out instead, a rope stretching from his collar to something above the trees that is not yet visible to us. He barks happily at me and trots over, rope pulling taut behind him. He pulls on the taut rope a little, and a long, green dragon comes out of the trees. Hayate trots the rest of the way over to us and immediately rubs his head against my leg. I notice a piece of paper tucked beneath his collar and pull it out. It's a note! I read it aloud, "Colonel, I believe that a dragon will greatly help in your current situation. Her name is Lizzie, use her wisely. Hawkeye."

Alphonse looks at the dragon incredulously, "Hawkeye sent you a dragon named Lizzie?"

"Apparently, how like her, telling me to use a dragon wisely." I look up at the dragon's enormous head and see some blood smeared around its mouth. So it ate the chimera, oh well, "Alphonse, get on her."

He stares at me, "What?"

"You heard me, get on her, you need to fly over to Omega fort and tell me when phases 4 and 5 are complete."

He reluctantly walks up to Lizzie and puts a hand on her shining green side, "How am I supposed to tell you? She's not exactly inconspicuous."

I reach into a pocket of my cloak and pull out a Bluetooth, "I'll have the other one, now get on." His blank stare makes me step closer and lace my fingers together to form a foot hold, "Come on, Zola told me to run this operation in her absence." I notice how his cheeks color at her name, "What, do you have a thing for her?"

He replies much too fast, "No! Not at all!"

"You're lying."

He shakes his head, "No, I do **not** have a _thing_ for that girl."

I sigh, hands falling to my sides, "It's obvious from the way you reacted when I said her name, and you answered my question much too fast."

He blushes, "Sir, is it that obvious I'm in love with her?" I nod and offer my hands for him to step in. He just shakes his head and quickly transmutes a platform, which disintegrates once he's off of it. "Sir, does it say anywhere in that letter how to make her fly?"

Lizzie's ears perk up at the word fly, and she launches herself into the air. As Alphonse rises up into the low bank of clouds, I tap my fingers against my leg and mutter, "Phase 4, initiating in T minus five minutes."

Annabeth's POV

Winry pulls aside the heavy red curtain, allowing Lust to walk in unhindered with Ed and Al behind her. To my surprise, she deposits Ed in the middle of the room and says, "I'm taking Al over to Envy now, stay right where you are midget, or I'll tell Envy to put that stick in his ear."

Ed grits his teeth, forcing himself to not fly at Lust and give her a pummeling. She gives a light, airy laugh and walks away, Winry pulling the curtain aside again for her to leave. Almost immediately we hear her footsteps coming back our way, alone. Winry pulls aside the red fabric again and Lust back hand her with her nails as she walks in, throwing my friend into a column. Her eyes whirl around the room and she turns away just the slightest bit before realizing that Ed is there. His face is the only thing that can move freely, and it's panicked. "But, you just left with Al! You said you were bringing him to Envy!"

Lust's nails shoot out and catch him in the shoulder, pinning him to the nearest column. She is obviously incensed as she hisses, "Don't lie to me you midget, where is 25?"

Ed's eyes narrow and he bellows out, "**WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN UNDERSIZED MAY FLY!**" Lust twists her hand just the slightest bit, causing the nails embedded in his shoulder to rip through muscle, a process that I doubt was painless. Something hits the back of Lust's head and her lance like nails rip right out the top of Ed's shoulder as she whirls around to see Winry stalking towards her, rage plastered all over her face in addition to the bloody scratches.

She hurls the wrench with all her might and as it embeds itself Lust's head she shrieks, "STAY AWAY FROM HIM!" She pulls the wrench out of Lust's head and proceeds to beat the crap out of the female homunculus.

Lust screams out, "Don't just stand there you idiots! Help m…"

Her sentence is cut short by Winry's wrench colliding with her neck, sending her head flying. Winry stands and glares at us, "Deal with her, I need to save Ed." She tosses the wrench to me and I snag it, but before I can nod confirmation, she's running to Ed. I turn my attention to the enraged Homunculus before me, a smirk on my face, looks like I get to be fighty after all.

Ed's POV

Lust twists her hand and I scream without meaning to. As I'm held up to the column by Lust's nails I struggle to keep the pain locked inside, where it can't hurt anyone. Then I see Winry pick up a wrench and throw it at Lust's head with her usual accuracy. I want to cheer, but Lust's hand flicks upwards as she falls over, and her nails rip out of my shoulder. This re-introduces me to a pain that is horribly familiar.

It hurt like this when Envy stabbed me in the underground ballroom; it hurt like this when I was impaled in Baschool. _It hurt like this when we tried to transmute our mom_**!** This kind of pain can't be locked in, but mercifully I lose consciousness as Winry starts screaming at Lust.

I'm dragged from unconsciousness by Winry calling my name, "…Ed, please, Answer me!"

I open my eyes, brain struggling to piece together what just happened. As I look at her bloody, scratched face I say the first thing that pops into my mind, "Uhg, Winry, my shoulder hurts like hell. What happened?"

I try to get up, vaguely remembering Lust slashing Winry, I have to hurt her for that. But Winry pushes me back down, putting her left hand on my head instead of my shoulder. "Ed, don't move. Your shoulder is wrecked, I've got it bandaged, but there's still the possibility of infection."

I smile weakly at her, even though it hurts to do anything at all. "Stop worrying about me, I'm fine."

She glares at me and I can tell that if she had a wrench on hand she would use it. "Edward, you will not be getting up any time soon." I hear a sharp cry and Winry's head whips around. Whatever is going on must be bad, because she snarls at me, "Edward, stay right here, do not move." Before I can object and tell her to stay with me, away from the fight, she jumps to her feet and runs towards the middle of the room. I try to tilt my head to see her, but it's too much strain on my shoulder. I grit my teeth and avoid screaming, but I can't fight the coming loss of consciousness.

Winry's POV

**Editor: Wow, **_**lots**_** of POV changes… Hey! I didn't write this one!**

**Author: So? I did. Just felt like a bit of explanation.**

**Editor: YOU DID ANNABETH'S POV! AND ED'S!**

**Author: Geez, bust my eardrums will ya? Cool your jets, I just wanna write some more!**

**Editor: You keep complaining about having too much writing to do!**

**Author: No, transcribing is what I complain about. I love to write! Now shut up and let me work!**

[Zola: *strikes silly pose*]

**[Author: Anyways...]**

Winry's POV

I haul aside the curtain again and Lust storms back in looking murderous. Without even looking, she backhands me with her long, needle sharp nails. I stagger backwards into a column and fall to the floor, holding my face. I remove my hands when Ed starts shouting, and when Lust twists her hand I grab the thing nearest me. It would appear that not all of the construction tools were cleaned up, because my fumbling hand finds a wrench. I leap to my feet and heave the heavy metal tool at Lust's head, when it hits, her hand flicks upward, tearing her nails out the top of Ed's shoulder. He screams in agony before falling to the ground, unconscious. I storm up to Lust, grabbing the wrench from the floor as I go.

When she's on her feet again, I throw the wrench so hard that it embeds itself in her head. I can feel the tears threatening to overflow as I scream, "STAY AWAY FROM HIM!" She falls over and I sprint to her side, yanking out my new wrench to use as a bludgeon.

"Don't just stand there you idiots! Help m..."

I decapitate her with the wrench before she can command my new friends to attack me, then throw the wrench to Annabeth. "Deal with her, I need to save Ed." Even as I give her the instructions I'm sprinting over to my injured husband. I reach his side and see that he's not actually unconscious, "Ed, Ed honey can you hear me? Ed!" I reach out and blindly grab a large piece of red fabric, pulling it into strips as I cry out to Ed, "Ed! Ed, please, Answer me!"

He stirs weakly, "Uhg, Winry, my shoulder hurts like hell. What happened?"

He tries to get up and I push him back down, one hand on his left shoulder and the other on his head. "Ed, don't move. Your shoulder is wrecked, I've got it bandaged, but there's still the possibility of infection."

He smiles at me, but it's not his normal smile. That one is strong, bright, and just a tiny bit crooked from the time he fell off of the swing when he was four. This smile is weak and watery, not at all tilted and I can see how much it pains him. "Stop worrying about me, I'm fine."

I swear if I had my wrench right now I'd knock him silly. "Edward, you will not be getting up any time soon." I hear a sharp cry and see my friends being struck down by a partially healed Lust. "Edward, stay right here, do not move." Before he can object I sprint across the room, grabbing the bloody wrench from the floor as I go.

Lust is shaky from the previous attacks, and that is the only reason my friends are still alive. She grins evilly, but it's not as strong as before, not as malicious. I swing the wrench, putting my whole body into the effort. It pays off, the wrench hits Lust so hard that she's knocked off her feet, her body already beginning to disintegrate. I rush over to Annabeth and the others, "Are you okay?"

Annabeth grimaces and sits up, "Who do you think I am? She was only a minor threat." I open my mouth to protest as she regains her feet, but she cuts me off. "I've been dealt worse." Her expression is such that I don't question her, "Come on, now's as good a time as ever to bust out the rest of A."

I nod, then pause. "Wait, I need to do something first." I heft the wrench, hoping with all my heart that I won't do any serious brain damage. I spin it in my hand, then whack my friends in quick succession. "Sorry, but that had to be done." I turn and walk over to Ed, who is lying on the floor where I left him, eyes closed. He's passed out from loss of blood, so I just give him a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving the room with Annabeth.

[Author: How was I supposed to write this part from Ed's POV? He's **unconscious**!]

[Editor: I hate it when you're right.]

33's POV

As Alphonse rises above the clouds on Lizzie, I turn around and head inside. Aly greets me with enthusiasm, "The cameras are coming on line right now!" She jerks her thumb towards a giant screen mounted on the wall, "We should be able to see everything that goes on!"

I smirk, sitting down on one of the chairs in front of the giant screen. "This should be entertaining. I just hope we get good reception."

Max's POV

I curse in my head as The Voice continues its annoying habit of not being present whenever its help would actually be _appreciated_. Damn Lust! That bitch put me in a miniskirt, _**a miniskirt**_! I will never be able to face the flock again, I'll just let Angel lead. Oh, Angel! I will never get that out of my head. I will go save Angel, _then_ give up on life.

When we carry her bitchiness to Wrath's room, Nudge's eyes widen spectacularly. Iggy is chained against the wall as well, right next to Fang. Unfortunately for me, and my pride, all their eyes are functioning , although in a minute Fang might have to pick his up off the ground, along with his jaw. He closes his mouth, then whispers something I can't hear.

Fang's POV

Wrath opens the door and Lust's 'maids' carry her in on a fancy looking chair that they're holding on their shoulders. Max is in the front, and at first I only register the disgust on her face, mixed with, is that embarrassment? Yes, it is. I look at her fully then, and see why her face is set like that. She's wearing **high heels**, a _bikini top_, and a _**miniskirt**_!Nudge is beaming on my right, and I forcefully close my mouth. Iggy lets out a barely audible wolf whistle and I think, "Wow, who would've thought that Max could look so, so **feminine**."

Iggy snickers, "Seriously, _Max_? I thought you had better taste."

I glare at him, face heating, "What do you mean?"

He smirks at me, and I remember that he can see now. "You said that she looks _feminine_. That and your faces are both about the color of a tomato."

I grit my teeth and try to avoid looking at Max for the remainder of Lust's visit. I keep my head turned for the first few minutes, but then I find myself sneaking glances at her. Near the end of the fourth minute, I give up and let myself look at her. She looks, feminine, and, sexy. She sneaks a glance at me, but looks away immediately when she meets my gaze. As she leaves, I wonder, "Does she, _like_, me?"

Max's POV

When we get to Pride's room, Gazzy opens the door. It almost breaks my heart to see him; there are so many whip marks on his back. And Angel, my baby, she's straining to haul what must be a two ton block up an insanely steep slope. She's got whip marks too, more than anyone else in the room except her brother. I want so badly to pummel that tiny black haired kid into the ground, but if I move, I won't be the only one getting zapped, I'm sure my babies will suffer as well.

Lust has us stop by Wrath's room again on the way back, and this time its Fang standing in the ring. BB is sitting propped up in the corner where Percy used to lie. I flick my gaze to the wall, where Iggy and Nudge are still chained, thankfully unharmed. But I can't keep my eyes from Fang, we lock eyes, and he smiles a tiny bit. I've lived with him my whole life, but it still takes me until nearly a minute _after_ we leave to figure out what emotion lay behind that small smile.

Alice nudges me in the ribs, "Hey, Fang likes you."

"Huh? What do you mean? Of course he likes me! He's my brother!"

Alice smirks knowingly, "I saw into the future a little bit ago, you two were at the altar."

I shake my head to dislodge the image there, although I do kinda like it, a lot. "No way, our futures are too uncertain. One of us could expire any day now, probably me first, or him." As the collars shock us into silence, I mull over that image in my head. Then shut it away in a box with all my other impossible dreams, like ever having back the old Jeb, or living in our mountain house again, or hell, even having a quasi normal life. No, all those things are impossible for me and mine, no matter how much I wish it otherwise.

Sometime later

I open my eyes, rubbing the big frickin bump on my head. What happened? Oh, right. My memory comes flooding back, Al being taken to Envy, Ed getting hurt, the fight with Lust, and wait, Winry killed Lust, then... She _hit_ me with her _wrench_! As I push myself up into a sitting position, Envy's voice barks out over the speakers. "Attention all Homunculi, numbers 2, 4, 20, 24 and 26 were just recently captured. They are currently on display in the main courtyard if you wish to make an example of them to your own slaves." The speakers go dead and I play it back in my head, 26 is Angel! I leap to my feet and race out into the corridor, taking turns at random.

I whip around the fifth corner and crash into none other than the midget. And as we crash to the ground, Percy comes running up and trips over us, adding to my discomfort. Only Fang... No, stop that thought right now! I stuff that fantasy back into the box and shove the two blood covered boys off of me, hissing out, "What the hell are you two doing?"

Midget's expression is fierce, protective, scared, and woozy, all at once. I wonder for a moment how he does that, then he speaks up. "I'm looking for the courtyard, same as you and Percy." Link runs up with Jacob at his heels, they give us a glance and nod, we're all after the same thing. After short bit, we find a door labeled **Courtyard**, which I shoulder open to see Envy- He dies now. Nobody pokes my baby with a stick! Putting her in a cage, another big no-no. He, or she, I'm still not sure, turns around and smiles. Uh-oh, in my experience it's never a good thing when the sadistic madman smiles. I'm figure I'm right, because after a moment he starts going all glowy. Like, red lightning on his skin glowy.

As the palm tree turns into a giant green monster, I can do nothing. The transformation finishes and suddenly I hear, _Run! Run! Run!_ I guess the voice is back. _Run Max! You're going to be caught!_ Yeah, like I don't know that? _Actually, don't run. Let yourself be caught, it's all in the Plan._ My legs freeze, "Plan? What Plan? And which part says I have to get caught?" I get funny looks from the boys for shouting at myself and, as per use, The Voice doesn't deem my question worthy of an answer. Well, it's always been right so far, might as well…"Unless we resort to cannibalism. I think Angel should go first, she looks meaty."

I shove Angel behind me and get into a defensive stance. "Touch her and you die." Nobody else seems to like the idea much either, and as Zelda starts smacking her boyfriend I wrap my wings around Angel, thankful that the bikini is a halter top.

As Link falls to the ground, Angel pushes out of my wings. "Annabeth, it's time to tell them."

Again, I can't help myself. "Tell us what?"

Before I can finish that thought, the monster's tongue grabs me and lifts me up. EEEW! It's **tongue**! That's not normal! But then again, since when has any aspect of my life been normal? The voice is uncharacteristically silent as the **tongue** drops me into the cage with Angel. I try to leap to my feet, but the tongue squeezed all the breath out of me, so I wind up crawling over to Angel's side. I give her a quick once over, apart from the usual bruises, scrapes and dirt, she's only sporting a few dozen whip marks and a rather nasty bump on the head. Oh yeah, and she's unconscious. I think our situation over; there's no way I can carry Angel out of here, so I'll just have to sit tight until she wakes up since there's no way I'm leaving without her.

As I wait with Angel's head on my lap, I watch the ongoing battle outside. Link and Percy are using long shards of ice as swords, and Jacob is working at the monster's legs. The midget is clapping frantically, and the cuss that comes with every breath makes a tiny part of me glad that Angel's out cold. The **tongue** grabs Ed and drops him into the cage, where he lands on his head. He lays there, twitching randomly, and Winry runs over to him, "Ed! Ed, are you alright? Ed? Answer me!"

I turn away from this and see Envy's tail pin Percy to the wall, and Link and Jacob take this opportunity to attack the monster's neck. The monster shrieks in pain, and the cacophony of voices overload his sensitive wolf ears. As he collapses to the ground in a twitching heap, Nessie screams. All heads, even the monster's, turn to her; nobody thought that someone so small could produce a scream so loud and full of rage, but it takes the monster only a second to recover. His **tongue**, I can't get over that, tosses Jacob's limp form into the cage, nearly squishing Nessie. She throws her arms around his neck protectively and he smiles weakly.

I turn away from this oh so touching scene and focus my attention on the fight. Link is valiantly defending a half conscious Percy, but the, **tongue**, swats away his sword and grabs them both. As the two boys fall into the cage, Annabeth rolls her eyes. "Nice going seaweed brain, now we're _all_ caught."

At this point Angel wakes up, and I stop listening. "Angel! Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"

She sits up, rubbing her head. "I'm fine Max, he didn't hurt me at all, apart from knocking me out with a 200 pound slab of steel."

The lid of the cage slams shut at this point, crushing my hopes of escape and reducing my response to a nod of acceptance. "Now we need to think about escaping. Jacob, can you break us out?"

He raises his head and looks at Nessie, who looks at us. "I think you should turn around, he's going to phase back." I hear Angel whisper in my ear, "Turn around, he'll be naked when he turns back." I hastily comply, and my back is turned for almost three minutes before Nessie says, "You can turn around now."

I turn around and see Jacob standing in the middle of the cage, no shirt, but thankfully he's wearing pants. Nessie is standing right next to him, apparently supporting him. "I don't have enough energy to phase again, and even if I did, I wouldn't be strong enough to break the bars. I guess that means we're stuck here."

Link is wearing a calculated expression, "We might starve to death, unless..."

I know I'm just _begging_ for a jinx, but I can't help myself. "Unless what?"

"Unless we resort to cannibalism. I think Angel should go first, she looks meaty."

I shove Angel behind me and get into a defensive stance. "Touch her and you die." Nobody else seems to like the idea much either, and as Zelda starts smacking her boyfriend I wrap my wings around Angel, thankful that the bikini is a halter top.

As Link falls to the ground, Angel pushes out of my wings. "Annabeth, it's time to tell them."

Again, I can't help myself. "Tell us what?"

Annabeth pulls Angel over to her, an action that I would oppose if I didn't trust her so damn much. "Zelda, Angel, Nessie, Winry, 33, Aly and I tried to destroy the power canisters."

Percy looks confused, "What power canisters?"

Annabeth smacks him lightly, "The mist that got sucked out of most of us by the big cage. It went into canisters. Anyways, that was all part of Zola's plan. If we destroy the canisters, we'll probably get our powers back."

Winry jumps in just then, "Before Envy… Before Zola left, she gave us some orders. She somehow knew that the Homunculi would suck out powers. She instructed us to destroy the machine at all costs."

Zelda takes over now, "She sent Aly and 33 to help us, but the machine was guarded by a room full of robots and wolf men."

Link seems mildly curious, "What were they doing there?"

Nessie speaks up, "They were doing all these normal things, it was creepy."

I share a look with the boys, we saw that room, and it _was_ creepy. "So, how did you end up here?"

Angel speaks up, "Even with 33's fire and Aly's martial arts, there were too many. And then Envy came and turned into that big green monster, Aly was on guard in the hall and she only managed to grab 33."

As I wrap my wings around her again, Annabeth picks up the monologue. "We can also safely assume that Zola requested 33 to rescue Al, it's rather obvious that she has a crush on the boy."

At this, the midget sits bolt upright. "That little weirdo likes my baby brother? I can't let him fall in love with her!"

Wow, can anyone say overprotective much? We all stare, and his face turns scarlet as Winry smacks him, "He's 14 you idiot! He can think for himself!" The shrimp seems truly hurt, and when he realizes that he and Winry are not alone, his face turns an interesting shade of purple.

Annabeth tries to change the topic, "_As I was saying_. Zola wanted us to destroy the canisters, but she said that there was also a backup plan. My suggestion is that we all just sit tight and wait for 33, Al or Aly to activate it."

Barely a second after she stops talking, a flipping huge _dragon_ swoops down into the courtyard. I scream along with everyone else, and pull Angel down as the green scales scrape the roof of our cage. Ed lets out a string of expletives that make me want to punch his lights out, and as the dragon rips the top off of our cage like a piece of wet tissue paper I find myself missing the, the _protection_ it afforded us. As the shredded hunk of metal crashes to the floor I throw Angel into the air, following right after her. As we rise above the dragon, it turns around and I see, "Al?"

Al's POV

As Lizzie swiftly ascends through the layers of clouds I cling to her scales, eyes clenched tightly shut. After a little bit, she levels out and starts streaking towards Omega fort. I gingerly sit up and look around, it's actually rather nice up here. I can see all the way to a wall of greenish smoky nothingness that simply wasn't programmed. But all too soon Lizzie begins to descend. I cling to her scales once more as we pass through the clouds, which press in on all sides like a cool, damp blanket.

Lizzie breaks through the bottom of the cloud layer directly above a giant courtyard in the middle of Omega Fort. As she spirals quickly down to land above the one door, Envy walks in with Winry, Zelda, Renesmee, Angel and Annabeth on leashes. It takes all my willpower to not fly down and free Winry right now, but, there's no harm in _thinking_ it, Mustang ordered me to do nothing until phase 5 was completed. So I just watch as Envy pulls a lever and the top of the cage lifts up, hinges protesting slightly. Then he proceeds to throw each girl into the cage, Angel he tosses in last. As soon as she lands her wings snap open and she leaps into the air, flapping frantically. I see Envy's hand close around the lever and as Angel's head pokes over the top of the cage, he pulls. The slab of metal falls quickly, slamming down on Angel's head and knocking her unconscious body to the floor.

He smirks and proceeds to poke the girl with a stick. As he's poking her, B Team bursts through the wall beneath me and I have to pull Lizzie back hard to avoid detection. I dismount and crawl to the edge of the roof, where I poke my head over. I watch Envy's tongue wrap around Max and throw her into the cage with Team A. Brother is swearing rather loudly as he tries, and fails, to use his alchemy. Envy throws him into the cage next, and he lands on his head. I miss a part of the fight watching Winry try to wake him, even Brother's thick skull could be cracked by a landing like that.

A scream echoes through the courtyard, one that I've heard before. My attention snaps back to the fight as Envy screams with all his souls. The cacophony of voices sends the Jacob crashing to the ground, and then Renesmee screams. Even Envy looks at her, shocked that such a small, delicate looking person can make such a loud, ferocious noise. But he quickly recovers and throws Jacob into the cage, almost squishing Renesmee. Percy is obviously tiring, and Link is defending both himself and his exhausted team mate. Before long, they're both in the cage and Envy is out of the room.

I crawl back from the edge and clamber onto Lizzie's back to wait out the 10 minutes. I wait for what I think is 10 minutes, and then urge Lizzie out into the courtyard. As she swoops low over the cage, everybody inside screams. Her spiked tail rips the lid off and as she turns around, Max rises up into the air. "Al?"

I smile at her dumbstruck expression, "Yep, could you help me load everyone onto Lizzie?" She looks confused, so I explain, "The dragon." She nods numbly, and I think to point something out to her. "You do realize that you're _flying_ in a _miniskirt_, right?"

She glances down at the boys in the cage below. Brother glances up, then starts talking to Winry, his face slowly fading from red to a more normal shade, and Jacob is completely focused on Renesmee due to the whole imprinting thing. But Percy and Link are looking up, mouths open, making me wonder what exactly they're seeing. Her face turns as red as the stone, and she executes a dive, giving me a glimpse of the hello kitty pattern on her underwear. I chuckle, the mighty Max wears Hello Kitty underpants, I'm sure Brother will mention that to Fang.

As Lizzie settles on the ground, Brother looks up, and his face lights up like Christmas at the sight of me. I can't help but feel a little bit guilty, he must have been worried sick, and the whole time I was fine. A sudden blast of static in my ear makes me flinch, then 33 starts giving me my next orders. I sigh and relay them to the group in front of me, "The Co…" I stop myself there, Mustang doesn't want anyone else to know. "33 just told me to activate phase 6, destroy the machine."

Brother scowls irritably as everyone else nods, "I'm all for it, but tell me Al, how are we supposed to get out of this cage?" I pat Lizzie fondly and Brother's eyes widen. "Al, please don't tell me you're thinking what I think you're thinking."

I smile at his convoluted sentence, "I probably am. Lizzie, smash those bars!" The giant dragon spins around, smashing its tail into the side of the cage and ripping out the bars on one side.

Winry hops out as Lizzie stops spinning, "Hi Al, how are we getting to the machine? There were a ton of robots around it last time. I wonder how they're made..." She trails off and I offer my hand to her. Her eyes widen, "The dragon?"

"Yep, now come on! Who knows when Envy will come back." This shocks everyone into motion, and it takes only a few minutes to load everyone onto Lizzie's green scaled back. I say, "Fly." As Lizzie launches herself into the air, I hear most everyone scream; including Winry, and Brother. As Hawkeye's dragon levels out beneath the clouds, Angel jumps off. Her wings snap open and she soars up next to me, an action which Max doesn't mimic.

"There's the room, that tiny tower there." I follow her pointing finger, and steer Lizzie down through the ceiling. Our ride roars, and stomps over to 33 and Aly, who are standing in front of a mountain of half destroyed robots.

"What took you so long Alphonse?"

Mustang flips his hood down and I can _hear_ Brother grit his teeth. "_Colonel Bastard_."

Mustang replies to this with a curt nod, "Nice to see you too FullMetal, I see you're as short as ever."

Brother moves to leap off of Lizzie and Winry wraps her arms around his waist, "Oh no you don't, Colonel Mustang orchestrated this whole thing!"

I slide off of Lizzie and the others follow, Winry keeping her arms around Brother's waist the whole time. Mustang smiles at how she's keeping Brother in check, "She's right you know, so now you're in my debt, and I intend to get a favor out of you by the end of the day." Brother tries to move, but Winry is still holding him in place. Mustang flips his hood back up, "I wouldn't do us any good for the Homunculi to know I'm here. That would just be four extra nuisances to deal with."

The smirk that crosses Winry's face looks more like it belongs on Envy, "Actually, just three."

Brother blinks, "Huh? But there are four Homunculi here. Lust, Envy, Wrath and Pride."

Winry's smirk falls, leaving her looking sheepish. "Uhhm, I killed Lust while you were unconscious."

Brother looks shocked, and Mustang breaks the rather awkward silence. "Anyways, six needs to be completed. A team, B team; follow me."

Max is at the door first after Mustang, and she calls out, "Come on slowpokes!" I reach the door and see Max running her fingers over the canisters, murmuring, "Nope, nope, nope, not this one. Ah, here they are." She grabs the two that she's touching at the moment and starts smashing them together. They break simultaneously, and Angel squeaks. Max smirks, "Yep, I was right. I always am."

Brother reaches the door now; Winry probably slowed him down a lot, although I suspect that it wasn't just her hanging on to him. He notices my thoughtful gaze, and the tips of his ears turn pink as he pulls his arm from around Winry's waist. He spies Max crouching on the ground next to the destroyed canisters, then his gaze travels to the others mounted along the walls and he grins. "Time to get smashy!"

Max selects another canister and tosses it to Winry, "Here, work on this one, the Voice says it's yours." Winry looks at it thoughtfully, then slams it against the wall. The canister shatters, and a red mist leaks out of it, congealing around Winry's hands. She screams, and Brother turns to see what's wrong. By now the mist has moved up to her throat and solidified into what looks like a stone. (A/N: When Ed or Al says a stone/the stone, they're talking about the philosopher's stone.) Brother is at her side in a flash, and as the band begins constricting he sticks his hand in at the front, right beneath her chin. Unexpectedly, the band becomes gaseous again and swirls up over Winry's mouth, taking liquid form and sliding down her throat.

As she collapses into Brother's arms, her skin begins to brighten from an unnatural white, back to her normal tone. Something else changes, something quite real, but completely intangible. Her eyes snap open and I could swear that they're a brighter blue than they were a minute ago. Brother cradles her gently for a moment, then gets up and resumes demolishing the canisters. We all step back and let him work, the only noises being his heavy breathing and the occasional shattered canister. As he nears the end, a question for Mustang comes to mind, but before I can ask him, Ed smashes the last canister and cries out in victory before smashing a hole in the wall. "Come on, let's go bust out all the others."

**(A/N: Envy sends Robin, Iggy, Fang, Edward and Jacob to Wrath. He keeps Ed for torture, and Azelf is sent to Pride. Because the Artist would kill me otherwise. Oh, and I'm sorry, I lied. Jasper is under Wrath and he **_**did**_** have his power drained. Due to the fact that otherwise he would make Wrath feel insanely guilty about this whole mess and have him free them.)**

Mustang nods, "I get Envy though, he needs to pay."

As he sweeps down the hallway towards Envy's room with Angel I walk up next to Winry and Brother. "You know, I never called in phases four and five. So how did he know to come?" I turn my head and see Winry, what the... She's... She's _crying_!

Brother wraps his arms around her and she wipes her eyes, "Oh, sorry Ed, I got your shirt all wet."

He holds her close, "It's alright. That red stuff, I think it was a part of your life energy. Your body is trying to, well, basically its trying to piece itself back together. I don't blame you." I stare at my brother incredulously, what is _up_ with him? He's acting all weird around... Oh, around Winry.

It's so easy to forget that they're married now. Wow, I can't believe that Winry and I are now legally related. It's so weird to think about it, my older brother is married to my best friend. Heck, it sounds weird without even saying it out loud. He releases her and turns to meet my inquisitive gaze, "Come on Al, we do need to go save the others." I nod and as Brother claps his hands, Mustang appears. He tries to create his normal blade, but nothing happens. He glares at his superior officer, "Why the hell can't I use my alchemy?"

Mustang is obviously trying not to laugh as he pulls a canister out of his cloak, "I took the liberty of stealing your canister as well as your brother's."

Mustang explodes the canister, and Brother immediately transmutes his normal blade. He flips Mustang the bird and stalks off towards Wrath's room, murder in his eyes. I look at Mustang apologetically and hurry off after Brother, Winry at my heels. We stop outside Wrath's room and I hear a big fight inside, the sound of colliding metal interspersed with alchemic crackles. "Winry, wait here. If you go in, Brother might get hurt defending you." I can see the ready argument die on her tongue, she can't stand the thought of Brother being hurt on her account. I haul open the door and step inside, slamming it shut behind me and sealing it with alchemy. Wrath is fighting Brother with his blade, and also pretty much everyone else. Brother looks to see what made the alchemic crackle, and freezes when his eyes alight on me. That instant is long enough for Wrath to swing at his exposed neck.

Winry's POV

As all the others vanish into the next room, I kiss Ed, moving my hands up to his shoulders. He puts his arms around my waist and responds with an enthusiasm that surprises me. I knew that he loved me, but I didn't realize just how much he _wanted_ me. I pull away and rest my head on his shoulder, his kiss in the kitchen was sweet, but this was, so much more. He murmurs to me, "Come on, we need to catch up to them."

I lift my head and squeeze him tighter, "Can't they wait?"

He smiles the smile that he saves for me, "I don't think that it would be exactly ideal for Mustang to come looking and see us making out." At my downcast expression, he hurries on. "I mean, I wish that... I wish... I wish that they _could_ wait, it's not that I don't want to... that I don't like..."

I sigh resignedly, understanding his stumbling sentences. "Yeah, we'd _never_ live that down."

"Exactly." As we head for the door he keeps his arm around my waist, holding me close. But when we reach the door, Al is looking at us curiously. Ed's ears turn pink and he hastily removes his arm from around my waist, as though embarrassed to show affection towards me. He notices Max crouching next to two destroyed canisters, and I can see a slightly evil gleam in his eye. "Time to get smashy!"

"Here, work on this one, the Voice says its yours." I automatically reach out and grab the object Max throws at me, then examine the container in my hands. There's a weak point right on the end, so I smash the canister against the wall, expecting to feel, relief of some sort. But an icy cold red mist seeps out and congeals around my hands. I let out a terrified shriek as the stuff speeds up to my neck and becomes solid as a rock. As it starts getting tighter, my vision darkens rapidly around the edges. It's narrowed substantially before I feel Ed's hand slide over my trachea, protecting it from the crushing force. The pressure suddenly vanishes, and the stuff is in my mouth, sliding down my throat, uncomfortably hot as it enters my lungs.

My eyes close reflexively, and as the stuff speeds through my veins I lose control of all voluntary muscle movement. I feel it burning towards my racing heart, then there's relief. Like there was something missing that's just been put back. The heat vanishes, and I open my eyes to see Ed's worried face. I realize that he's holding me, and almost blush before remembering, we're married now. He holds me a little bit tighter for a second, then lets go and resumes smashing the canisters with a single minded determination. I stand next to Al until Ed is done demolishing the canisters.

When the last one shatters, he cries out victoriously and smashes a hole in the wall with his automail hand. I tune out a little as I pick my way across the glass strewn floor, arriving at Ed's side as Mustang and Angel head off down the hall to Envy's room. For no reason at all, tears begin to pool in my eyes. As the first ones spill over, Ed wraps his arms around me, comforting me without words. I sniffle and wipe my eyes, "Oh, sorry Ed, I got your shirt all wet."

He holds me close, "It's alright. That red stuff, I think it was a part of your life energy. Your body is trying to, well, basically it's trying to piece itself back together. I don't blame you." At least this time his sentence is coherent. He lets go of me and turns to Al, when did he get there? "Come on Al, we do need to go save the others." He claps his hands as Mustang appears, then cusses under his breath when the usual blade doesn't appear. He glares at Mustang, "Why the hell can't I use my alchemy?"

Mustang is obviously trying not to laugh as he pulls a canister out of his cloak, "I took the liberty of stealing your canister as well as your brother's."

Mustang explodes the canister, and Ed immediately transmutes his normal blade. He flips Mustang the bird and stalks off towards Wrath's room, murder in his eyes. Al looks at Mustang apologetically and hurries off after his brother, with me hot on his heels. We stop outside Wrath's room and I hear a big fight inside, the sound of colliding metal interspersed with alchemic crackles. "Winry, wait here. If you go in, Brother might get hurt defending you." My argument dies on the spot, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if Ed got hurt because of me. Al pulls the door open and slips inside, sealing it with alchemy so that I can't change my mind and come in after him.

Ed's POV

I hear someone using alchemy, and turn my head to see who it is. I see Al standing just inside the door, and freeze. What's he doing here? This is way too dangerous for him! I start to yell at him, "AL GET OUT!" but steel pierces my neck before the second syllable passes my lips. I flick my eyes and see Wrath his sword planted in the back of my neck, perilously close to my brain stem. "Huh?" I have the strangest sense of Deja-Vu, my mind flashing briefly back to when I was impaled at Baschool. Wrath slowly twists his sword, but I don't give him the satisfaction of my pain. Five metal pins stick themselves into the ice at Wrath's feet, and I smirk at him.

A star in a circle flashes between the pins and the ice seems to come alive, spiraling up Wrath's legs. It curls tightly around his torso and down his arm, then Al runs up to me and wrenches the blade out of my neck. "Al, close it up." I'm losing blood so fast that I can only whisper, but Al lays me down and applies pressure to the wound while placing another five pins around me. A little bit later, the wound is closed, with hardly a scar to show it was ever there.

Al pulls me to my feet, then turns to Wrath. "You don't mess with the Elrics, not unless you have a death wish." I've never heard him sound so menacing, and his eyes are, different. He claps and places one hand on the ceramic vines, drawing more material from the floor and cocooning Wrath almost entirely. Only his mouth and nose are left open, "Like I said, you don't mess with us unless you have a death wish."

"Al, thanks."

He turns, and his eyes are no longer alien. "Just saving your life again Brother, nothing special." But as he walks over to the door and unlocks it, I think about what just happened. It wasn't 'nothing special' he was a complete stranger for a minute there. Al, the Al I know, my little brother, he would never do something like that. Al yanks on the door handle, and it swings open to reveal Winry, worry written all over her face.

She sees me and the worry fades, quickly replaced by fear. "Ed, what happened? You're so pale!"

I wave her off, "It's nothing Winry. I've had worse." Her expression says, _like what?_ But then the look vanishes, as if she doesn't really want to know. I never told her how I got the big scar she saw when I came to Resembool with Greed, she never asked. I'm suffering from loss of blood, but I ignore that and walk over to the wall where the victims are chained. Four transmutations later, Fang collapses to the ground. I keep walking down the line, ignoring Winry's worried glare and just using the wall for support. But after freeing Fang, Iggy, Nudge and Gemma I collapse.

My vision starts to blur, and my limbs feel unbearably heavy. I fight unconsciousness, if I black out now, Al will have to fight Pride alone. I start to stand up, and Winry puts her hands firmly on my shoulders, keeping me down. I try to stand again, but this time she shoves me down. "You are in no fit condition to be running off to another fight!"

I hear Al's voice coming from my left, "She's right brother, I can handle Pride without you. It's not like I'll be taking him on alone."

His voice sounds like it's coming from the other end of a long tunnel, and Winry's worried face is the only thing I can see. "Hey, Winry. I'm fine, that bastard didn't hurt me at all."

This simple sentence takes more effort than it should, and I have to fight to stay conscious as Winry frowns, "Ed, I know that's not true. You need to rest, let Al do the fighting this time." I try to argue, but I can't seem to form the words. My vision darkens further and starts to blur spinning as I manage to form a couple syllables and get them out in a whisper. "I'm… fine…" But before I can say anymore, I slip into unconsciousness, and forget what I wanted to say.

Jasper's POV

Al breaks my chains, and I feel his brother's stubbornness. Wait, my powers were drained, but now they're back. The other Edward is stubbornly clinging to consciousness, hurting himself and his wife, so as he says "I'm… fine…" I send a wave of calm towards him, forcing him into unconsciousness. Winry relaxes as he begins to snore lightly, and Al frees Edward and I can feel the relief coming off of him as he smiles over at his brother, "Thank goodness he's out. After losing that much blood, he shouldn't be moving at all."

His words bring my attention to the pool of blood next to the incapacitated Wrath, I force the thirst out of my head and come up with an idea. "Al, could you transmute that blood back into your brother?"

His mood changes to excitement, bringing a light to his eyes. "Yeah! That would work!"

He walks over and transmutes the blood into a cube of ice, then carries it over and lays it next to the unconscious blond's head. He places draws a circle, then a star, which he puts metal pins at the points of. He cuts a small slit on the back of his brother's left hand and activates the array, the block of blood flowing through the air and in through the cut. The injured hand is placed inside the circle and Al heals it up, "There, he'll probably be waking up in a minute or so,"

**Author: Uhhm... I don't know how to write Jasper, so I'll just swap back to fma peoples. I **_**know**_** them. Addictions can be helpful!**

Ed's POV

I wake up and groan, is it morning already? Then I feel the pain in my neck where the sword went in, and I remember why I was asleep in the first place. I push myself up on one hand, rubbing my still closed eyes with the other. Where are Al and Winry? Suddenly the air is squeezed out of me, "Ed, thank god you're awake! Al wasn't sure if the transmutation would work!" I freeze, what transmutation?

Surely Al would never be so stupid as to try and do that, but I need to know. "Winry, where's Al?" I open my eyes and see her beaming face inches from my own.

"He left with the others to deal with Pride."

I scoot back a little so that my back is to the wall, "Hey Winry, where's Fang? There's something I want to ask him." She just shrugs, scooting over to cuddle up next to me. I put my metal arm around her, my injuries from fighting with Wrath still hurt, so I'll just have to wait here for a bit. We sit in companionable silence for a while before the three oldest chimeras walk in, "Hey Fang! Could you come over here?"

He looks at me suspiciously, then walks slowly over, stopping a good foot out of reach. "What do you want?"

I roll my eyes at his paranoia, "I want to tell you something." I can feel Winry's glare as I motion him closer. He leans in and I whisper, "Max wears Hello Kitty underpants."

He stares at me blankly, "What?"

"When the lid got torn off of the cage, she threw Angel out and took off, we all saw them." He draws back and looks at me suspiciously, "Here," I toss him a small bar of metal that's lying next to me, "stick this in her pocket if you don't believe me."

He smirks and takes the hammer, "I'll be sure to, midget."

I roar and leap at him, but Winry grabs my arm. "Oh no you don't! You're staying right here!" I can't really argue with her, so I sit back down where I was before, letting her cuddle up and nod off peacefully.

Fang's POV

**Author: He's really fun to write!**

**Editor: So you're doing all this extra work **_**voluntarily**_**?**

**Author: It's not extra! I'm just being thorough.**

**Editor: I will never understand you.**

As Winry calms down the shorty, I walk back to Max and Iggy, potential weapon in my hand. "Gave me this."

Iggy looks at it curiously, "He wanted to give you a hunk of metal? Why you?"

I shrug, and Max looks at Iggy, "Iggy, go get the others."

He nods and walks out, smile on his face because he can see where he's going. I toss the metal to Max; honestly curious as to whether the shrimp was right. She catches it and gives it a once over before sticking it in her back pocket. When she turns to face Ed the skirt rips, and when I see the Hello Kitty pattern on her panties. As I stifle a chuckle, she turns, and I know I'm a dead man.

Max's POV

I turn to ask the runt a question and my skirt rips, showing Fang the Hello Kitty panties I'm wearing today. I hear him stifle a chuckle and whip around, face hot with anger and embarrassment. He looks utterly terrified, and his gaze is flickering between my face and my panties. He cracks a smile and I stop short, he almost never smiles! "Didn't know you liked Hello Kitty." I glare at him, and he smirks back, eyes flickering to my underwear again. "You know, this look suits you."

My face is blazing now, what the hell is he saying? Oh god I need to get a pair of pants, **now**. I look to Ed, hoping that he can transmute some for me, but he's out like a light, Winry asleep next to him. Fang and I are 100% alone. I turn back to face him, and he's much closer than I expected, in fact, he's almost touching me. I know that I can't bring myself to hurt him, so I put my hands on his chest and push him away. One of my hands is directly over his heart, and it's racing, even by bird kid standards. He grabs my hands and steps closer, putting his face just inches away from mine. "I want you Max, I want you so bad it hurts."

His voice sounds different, and when I look into his eyes I see a stranger. He pulls me uncomfortably close and kisses me, but it's not like the one we shared in the desert cave. I try to push him away, but he's holding me too tightly. I turn my head to get some oxygen and try to knock him out by chopping at his neck like Jeb taught us, but it doesn't affect him at all. What is happening? Why is he acting like this?

I make one of my infamous snap decisions, if _force_ won't work, maybe _charm_ will. I wrap my arms around his neck and turn my head back to face him, returning the kiss. As I start to get dizzy from lack of oxygen, he releases me. I step back hurriedly, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, glancing at the door in hopes that Iggy is back with the others, only to find that he's already there, mouth open. Oh shit, when did he get here?

Angel steps around him, her expression fierce. "Get away from my brother, bitch." At first I think she's talking to me, but no, she's looking directly at Fang. His body convulses, and something like a heat mirage comes out of his mouth. Ed's eyes fly open and he claps his hands before slamming them down on the ground. A box springs up and closes around the mirage, and that's when Fang collapses.

"Fang!" I run over to him, first the... weirdness... and now this! When he comes to I'm going to smack him silly. The memory of when he almost bled to death comes to mind, and my chest constricts. He can't be dead, He promised he'd never leave me again! I fall to my knees beside him and check his heartbeat and breathing. Both are stable, so all I have to do now is wait for him to wake up. _Max, you need to pay more attention to the rest of your family._

My head snaps up, Voice? Where the hell were you? I rake my eyes over the rest of my family, Nudge and Iggy look shocked, Gazzy looks confused, and Angel is standing in front of them, looking more than a little pissed off. "Max, get away from him." I can tell that she's manipulating me, but there's nothing I can do about it. As my feet drag away from Fang of their own accord, she explains a little. "He was possessed by the homunculus Lust. I forced her out, but she's still looking for a new host."

I put up a mental block, breaking her hold on me and letting me run back to Fang. I grab his arms and back pedal swiftly, hauling him away from the rattling box. I reach the rest of my family at the door and drop his arms, glaring at Angel for a fraction of a second before directing my anger at the tiny prison. As I glare, it begins to shrink, walls closing inwards, becoming thicker as they do so. When the box is finished shrinking, Ed walks up and transmutes a hole in the floor. I watch carefully as he removes the box from its pole and places it in the hole, sealing it up with alchemy afterwards. "She won't be able to get out of that."

"Wuz goin on?" I look down at Fang, who's pushing himself up onto one hand and rubbing his head. "Max?"

I realize that I still need to get some pants, and blush furiously. "Ed, can you transmute something for me?"

He nods, pointedly looking at his sleeping wife instead of me as he takes off his jacket and claps his hands to turn it into a pair of pants, which are then tossed blindly in my direction. I step behind the raised platform that dominates the center of the room and tug them on hurriedly before turning to face my family again. If Fang brings this up like he did the Valium incident, I will most likely kill him.

Ed's POV

I watch Max and Fang's interaction through slitted eyes, honestly curious as to how she'll handle this. As the odd exchange takes place, I analyze her reaction. First shock, then discomfort, then she tries to immobilize him. But as her siblings appear in the doorway, she apparently gives up and returns his kiss. They exchange breath for nearly a full two minutes before he pulls away and she steps back, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and glancing furtively at the door. The smallest chimera girl is in the front, glaring at her oldest brother. "Get away from my brother, bitch."

A mist comes out of the chimera's mouth and takes the shape of Lust. I open my eyes all the way and slam my hands to the ground, visualizing her stuck in a box. The floor rises up and engulfs her, causing the chimera boy to collapse. I ignore the bird kids, thinking hard. Even Envy's parasite form had a stone as its core, so where was hers? I remember Marcoh's stone, if it can be liquid, and solid, then maybe it can be gaseous too. She starts trying to get out, and I double check to make sure that the box is securely sealed before making it smaller. As it shrinks, I get to my feet, being careful to not wake Winry. She stirs and murmurs my name, then settles back down into whatever dream she's having.

I walk over to Lust's tiny prison, transmuting a hole in the floor just a fraction of an inch larger than it in every direction. The stem snaps easily and I place the box in its hole, covering it back up with alchemy. I simultaneously fix the floor where I drew up the cage in the first place, and before more than a few seconds have passed, you can't tell that anything ever happened. "Ed? Can you transmute something for me?" Max probably wants some pants.

I nod, looking at Winry instead of her while changing my jacket into a plain pair of pants, and keeping my eyes averted while tossing them in her direction. She runs behind the platform with them and I walk back to Winry to wake her up. I crouch beside her and as I reach out my hand, she screams. She starts to thrash around, and I wrap my arms around her so she won't hurt herself. The scream fades to whimpers, and she hugs me tightly, whispering my name over and over, like she's afraid I'm not real. "Winry, I'm fine. It was just a dream."

"I know, but it felt so real. I… Ed, don't leave me."

I pull her to her feet, "Winry, let's go get Al and get out of this blasted place. This isn't fun anymore."

Winry's POV

I lean against Ed and close my eyes, drifting off almost immediately. An all too familiar scene materializes, Ed standing in front of me, terror in his eyes as he desperately grates at the chain holing me using a rough metal rod. I know that in a moment, Barry will come bursting in as he has done every time before, but this dream takes a different turn. Ed breaks the chain and I fall into his arms, so terrified of the maniac lying in wait that I can't move. He kisses me briefly, then puts me over his shoulder and runs for the door that keeps getting farther away. He shifts me to his arms, and I see Envy step out from between hanging pieces of meat. He sprints at us with a blade in his hand, and it buries itself in Ed's chest, right in the heart. Envy pulls out the blade, and we fall to the ground, my childhood friend's dead arms lock around me in a grip I'll never be able to escape. Envy positions the sword directly above me, a smirk forming on his face. "Time to die, insect."

I wake up an instant before his blade hits me, covered in a cold sweat and screaming my lungs out. That was the scariest nightmare I've ever had. As my screams quiet to pathetic whimpers, I lock my arms around Ed, ensuring that he's not going to disappear. I chant his name in my head, as if that'll make him stay with me, and pull up the brightest memory I have of him. He squeezes me gently, "Winry, I'm fine. It was just a dream."

I shudder, "I know, but it felt so real. I… Ed, don't leave me."

He stands up, pulling me with him as I absolutely refuse to let go. I'm not 100% sure that this isn't just a continuation, and in other dreams, he disappears or dies whenever I let go of him. "Winry, let's go get Al and get out of this blasted place. This isn't fun anymore." I nod, staying close to him as we follow Max and her family to Pride's room. They walk brazenly in, and we follow after, Ed's arm around my shoulders. I shrink back a little when I see Mustang flaming Pride, as both of them have starred in my nightmares more than once. Ed's arm tightens around me and I stand straight again, shaking my head slightly. He looks around and steps towards Al, arm staying securely around my shoulders.

I shake off the dream-like feeling and slip out of his hold, walking over to Gemma. "Gemma? Could you send us back? This VR, it isn't fun anymore. Ed and I want to get out." She smiles and walks over to Mustang, whispering something in his ear as Pride's body crumbles away. Mustang nods and strides over, Gemma tagging along behind.

Ed's POV

**Author: Wow, I write from him a LOT!**

**Editor: Yes, you do. Will the blackmail scene be included?**

**Author: No, sorry.**

**Editor: WHAT! WHY!**

**Author: Too much work.**

**Editor: You have time to write a scene from **_**three**_** different POVs, but not to **_**embarrass Mustang**_**?**

**Author: Uh-huh. That and I'm trying to **_**continue**__**your**__**ideas**_** through a nasty case of WB.**

**Editor: *grumpy***

**Author: Moving on!**

Ed's POV

Winry slips my arm from around her shoulders and walks over to Gemma as I start talking with Al. "Al, do you want to get out of here?"

"Yeah, this place is creepy."

"Well, Winry is starting to freak out, and now that all the Homunculi are dead, I think we can leave the others alone."

"Yeah, let's get out of here."

I feel somebody tap me on the shoulder, and turn around to see Colonel Bastard standing there, holding a ribbon with a red stone pendant. My eyes narrow, how the hell did he get his hands on a stone? And why did he _keep_ it? I don't know why, but for some reason the memory of him pulling my canister from his coat pocket pops into my head. I still owe him a good hard smack for that, so I clench my hand and punch him in the face. I hear his nose break, wait, the sound is too sharp to be a broken nose, it sounds more like a mask. He falls over and flickers, then disappears altogether, leaving only a broken mask behind, in front of a person.

The tiny brunette girl picks herself up, brushing dust off of her dress as she does so. "Pipsqueak! That wasn't nice!" I roar and lunge at her, but she steps aside at the last second and I crash into her older sister, who bites her lip to keep from screaming as my automail hand collides with her face. I roll off of her, offering a hand to help her get up.

She brushes me off, getting up with one hand over her mouth and an icy glare directed at her sister. I hear a thud, and look over to see Al on the floor, seemingly unconscious. "Zola! Next time, let me in on the plan! I kinda don't like having a split lip!" As the two girls quibble, the world starts to blur, almost like I'm waking up from a dream. Winry grabs my hand tightly, and I keep it firmly in my grasp. Unwilling to let her disappear as the rest of the world is doing. I find myself immobile, the only things I can see being Winry and a stifling blackness.

I must have blacked out, because the next thing I'm aware of is lying in a small, enclosed space with Winry on top of me. Her arms tighten around me, and I turn on my side so we're lying next to each other. I hear a hiss, and see a sliver of light above us as the top of our pod lifts up pneumatically. We sit up, and I have to pull Winry on to my lap so neither of us gets squashed. The lid springs the rest of the way open and hands reach in, helping us out. "How did they wind up in the same pod?"

"I've got no idea! He's the one who designed the machine!"

"Well, they were touching when the exit sequence was initiated, so the machine got confused and their bodies rematerialized into the same pod."

"Just that?"

"Yep. I didn't think to tell you, since it's such a small thing."

I blink again, letting my eyes adjust to the harsh light as voices swirl all around me. "Winry and Ed weren't the only ones touching, most of the couples wound up being in one pod instead of two."

"Damn machine sure fucked up."

I hear the smack of a heavy book meeting someone's head. "No swearing! Zak's going to pick it up!"

Now I can see what's happening. Gemma and her siblings are bickering over something or other, and wait, one of the extra pods is rattling. "Will somebody let me out of here?" I walk over and hit the release switch, stepping back so the person inside can sit up immediately. I catch a flash of glasses before the woman's mop of reddish brown hair covers her face. "Thanks! I would never have figured my way out of there!"

As Winry walks up next to me, her hand comes up and shoves the unruly bangs back into place, "Schezka?"

Her green eyes widen in shock, and a grin splits her face when she catches sight of Winry at my shoulder. "Winry!" She scrambles out of the pod, doing a clumsy face plant on the floor, "But aren't you? No, wait, of course not! You're here!"

Winry whispers in my ear, "I was in Resembool." and I nod, that's a logical explanation for Schezka's reaction.

I turn my attention to the Monday kids, Gemma is gesturing frantically at several pods. "Zak, Wadi, Fisk and Komodo didn't even come out! But Terra did! What the hell did you do you little piece of shit?" Another smack on the head with a book labeled, I think its labeled Maximum Ride, Saving the World and other Extreme Sports. Gemma rubs her head irritably, snatches the book and smacks her brother with it. "Come on, let's go downstairs."

* * *

**Wait, when did the Potter kids leave? Or the Pokemon kids? I don't even remember anymore. You know what? I'm gonna stop trying to figure this out. Think of this story as a spiritual successor to My Immortal. Except we had spellcheck, and didn't know My Immortal existed...**

**Wait, how did I write this much during writer's block? Why can't I do that now? Oh, yeah, because the quality was shit so I didn't have to use my brain. At all. HOLY SHIT I JUST SAW THE WORD COUNT OF THIS CHAPTER. Over 16,000! That's... That's the length of a decent size fic! And I did this during writer's block!**

**And I think the Saturdays got eaten by our VR machine...**

**Oh right, I don't care!**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	12. Chapter 12: Chess INCOMPLETE

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

**This chapter never got written, but I'm putting it in anyways. We talked it through all the way, and even played a game to get all the moves right. It was gonna be so awesome!**

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Gemma's POV

As we walk down the stairs I turn to Zak, "Where'd The Doctor go?"

He points out the window, "To his TARDIS. Said he was leaving. He's probably headed back to 1950s London, I think he's grown fond of having a little blue box to travel in."

I nod, "And Jack?"

"Fixed his time jumpy thingy and he left for Cardiff."

Zola bops me lightly on the head, "Get moving! You're blocking the stairs!"

"Going, going." We hurry down the coiling stairs to living room, then immediately head onto the front lawn at Zola's prodding. When we leave the door, I wonder for a moment if we're not still in VR, because the front lawn has been transformed into a giant chess board.

* * *

**Okay, I'm gonna be straight with you all here. I've only got a vague idea of how this was gonna go down. But at least we remembered to say that Jack and the Doctor left! That's a step up!**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	13. Chapter 13: Green Kitchen

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

**I wanted to call this chapter Black Kitchen, for reasons which will be explained later, but Dot reminded me that could be taken wrong. So we compromised on the current title.**

* * *

Gemma PoV

We shepherd the whole group into the living room, and I walk over to my radio. I turn it on and hear static, so I wiggle the tuning knob until 93.9 comes on. I plug in the speaker wire and when nothing happens I hit the radio. Then I drop under the table to check the power strip, the light is on and all the plugs are in. I slide out from under and kick the wall, why couldn't we just have a switch? We won't be able to have this fixed without getting the wall torn apart! I kick the wall again, muttering to myself, and somebody lightly touches my shoulder. I spin around and see Winry there, "Can you help me?"

She thinks about it for a second, "Sure, I am a mechanic after all." She promptly drops beneath the table and I kneel to watch her. She wiggles a plug, then reaches behind a table leg and hits something. She slides out and jack knifes up to wrap a hair thin wire around a needle sized metal protrusion, "All better!" I reach across the table and dubiously press the power button on the radio, the speakers crackle to life and Christmas in Sarajevo begins to pour from them. I groan inwardly and put my fingers in my ears as I head for the Library to fetch my favorite copy of Harry Potter.

Before I can leave the room though, Iggy steps in front of me. "Hey Gemma, none of these guys could cook to save their lives, so could I hold a cooking seminar for them? They've all agreed to it."

I turn the idea over in my head, "Alright, but only if Winry is a part of it." He nods, and I drop the key to the kitchen door into Winry's hand. Azelf leads the way, and as the others follow after her I wish for them to have all the ingredients they need to make, whatever they plan on making. I just hope Iggy's not holding a bomb making class, some of my stuff is stashed on top of the fridge, and I'd hate to lose it to an explosion.

Percy's POV

Gemma and Zo lead us down a tightly curving stairwell, and before long we're in their enormous living room. Gemma walks over to the corner and starts fiddling with the radio sitting there, she quickly becomes angry and starts kicking the wall. Winry then walks over and does something that makes Christmas music start coming out of the walls. Iggy walks up to me with a crowd of other dudes behind him, plus Azelf. "Hey Percy, I'm holding a bomb making class, would you like to be a part of it?" I think about it, things tend to blow up around me but I don't actually know how to make a bomb. It could very well come in handy some day.

"I'm game. But how are you going to convince those girls to let you hold a bomb making class?

"Like this!" Gemma's pretty close now, and Iggy steps in front of her. I wonder for a moment how he does that when he's blind, but then focus on what he's saying. "... so could I hold a cooking seminar for them? They've all agreed to it."

She looks doubtful for a minute, but then says," Alright, but only if Winry is part of it." Iggy nods his head yes, and Gemma drops a key into Winry's hand. As we march for the kitchen with Gazzy in the lead, I see a dim blue flash from her necklace, but disregard it. When we get to the kitchen, Winry shoves her way to the front and stuffs the key into the lock. She turns it and the door swings open, we pile in and Winry gently shuts the door behind us. Iggy starts explaining what's really going on as I walk over to the biggest cabinet in the room. I pull open one of the doors and see pots of Greek fire, wires, a box labeled chlorine, some dirty looking socks and a host of Mickey Mouse alarm clocks. Gazzy bounces up next to me and grabs the socks off the shelf, then grabs the chlorine and pours some on them. When nothing happens he turns to Iggy and says, "My socks don't make chlorine explode." Iggy cracks up at some private joke and then gets serious.

[Author: Ok, just to avoid confusion, here's the list of people in the seminar: Iggy, Gazzy, Percy, Winry, Cyborg, BB, Emmet and Azelf]

We work under his diligent command and soon we've each made four bombs: A stink bomb, for whose stench we use a concentrate of Azelf's perfume, a fire bomb, a flash bomb and a 'normal' bomb. We're all done and have stashed our bombs under the stove when a noise emanates from the cabinet. Iggy turns around and pulls open the doors. To everyone's surprise, a very strange looking girl stumbles out with a green glowing stick thing that looks a hell of a lot like a light saber. I feel Emmet stiffen next to me and without further warning; he turns completely around and charges through the wall. I turn my head back to face Iggy and see him kneeling next to the girl, lightly running his fingers over her skin. I look at her more closely and see that what I had originally thought to be green skin is actually a coating of blood. It's still oozing from a multitude of injuries all over her body.

Winry barks out, "I need Hydrogen Peroxide and gauze NOW!" Gazzy's hand shoots out and grabs what she just requested out of the cabinet. Iggy rips a large piece of gauze off and pours hydrogen peroxide on it, then Winry wipes the girl's body with it and I see the full extent of her injuries. There isn't an uninjured piece of skin more than an inch square, and some of her injuries look pretty serious. Winry finishes wiping her down and begins wrapping her in gauze with Iggy's help. They start with the arms, then do her legs, then finally her abdomen. Cyborg and I lift her gently and the two quasi doctors work quickly to wrap her up. "Winry! Get Azelf's stink bomb off the table! Robin, BB, toss some towels on it! I need a place to put her." Winry grabs the bomb and steps back a bit, while the BB and Robin grab some bath towels from the closet. Iggy takes the girl from us and gently lays her on the table.

I step over and bop the injured girl's head, the way I bop my friends at camp when we're just fooling around. I hear a faint buzz, and my head snaps up. Just in time to see a man dressed in funny looking dark clothes step out of the closet with another glowing stick thing, he's also bleeding all over, but he's conscious, and he looks mad.

Annakin's POV

Ahsoka and I have just finished dealing with some droids who have surprisingly good aim, and we're both bleeding heavily. She stumbles over to a tree on the edge of the woods and leans on it. I call in to report our victory and request a lift, but stop when I hear her cry out. I turn and see her sinking into the tree, as if pulled by an invisible hand. I sprint for her, ignoring both the pain of my own wounds and the somewhat frantic voice of Obi Wan, and get there just as her fingertips disappear into the wood. I pound the tree for nearly a minute before thinking to put my shoulder where hers was. I lean on the tree and soon feel a hand grab my sleeve and pull, I let it guide me to the end of a short tunnel, and the light at the end.

When I emerge from the tunnel, I find myself in what looks like a kitchen cabinet. The scene before me is rather puzzling, there's a person shaped hole in one wall, a bunch of teenage boys, a girl of approximately the same age who is holding a small metal contraption, another teenage girl, a tiny boy and one man who seems to be mostly a machine. Two of the boys are bent over Ahsoka, who lies unmoving on a table, apparently not breathing.

I snap when the boy facing me reaches down and hits the top of her head, I switch on my light saber and step out of the cabinet. He looks up and sees me step from the cabinet and swing my light saber at his friend. Incredibly, the boy ducks my swing. He spins around on one hand and attempts to knock my feet out from under me. As I leap over his long legs I see his eyes, he's blind! Without warning my light saber sputters and dies, it must have taken a hit during the fight with the droids.

The boy who hit her head vaults the table, pulling a full length sword out of his pocket. I blink, _how is that even possible?_ But then he swings at me and my primary concern becomes staying alive. I use my dead light saber to block his swings, but before long my sight starts to go blurry around the edges. _Damn, I've lost a whole lot of blood! _I knock into something and fall to the ground. The boy with the sword stands over me with his sword at my throat, but he doesn't kill me. The girl who held the metal thing grabs a bottle of something labeled in a strange language and the blind boy grabs a roll of gauze. She pours the contents of the bottle onto a piece of gauze that he tore for her, and begins to wipe the wounds that are exposed. Then they start covering the worst of them with gauze and I black out.

I come to on what feels like towels and sit up, rubbing my head. I look around and see Ahsoka sitting next to the girl with the metal thing. She's got her head bent over something, then she sits up and I see that it's her light saber. As she resumes her work I swing my legs around off of the table and stand up. "What's wrong with your saber?"

She looks up from her work and smiles, "I'm not sure, but it won't turn on. I've been trying to find the broken part for a few minutes now." I walk over to her, feeling the pain of my own injuries and checking her for any new ones.

"Let me see." She hands it over right away.

"I woke up and tried to turn it on, but nothing happened. I think one of those droids must have hit it."

"Odd, mine shut off less than a minute after I got here. But Snips, yours isn't damaged in any way." I pull out my own and check it over quickly. "And mine isn't either, aside from a few gouges."

"Maybe it's this planet; I've heard that there are some where the Force doesn't work. Hey Percy, what's the name of this planet?"

She directs her question at the boy who hit her and his answer is prompt, although from the way he says it we must seem like imbeciles. "You're on Earth, how can you not know which planet you're on?"

I run the list of life supporting planets through my head, Earth is somewhere near the bottom. I hear a familiar beeping come from the closet and turn with a smile on my face. Sure enough, R2-D2 is there, motoring out of the cabinet like there's nothing wrong. "R2! Show me the data for planet number 58351." He beeps and projects the data list, where I find a picture of the planet's surface, "Is this a picture of your planet?"

The one that Ahsoka called Percy looks at it, "Yep, but that picture must be eons old. Gimme a sec to look up a current one." He turns to what would appear to be a relatively advanced computer for this world and hits a button on the keyboard. Then his fingers fly across it as though he's been doing this for his entire life. He clicks the mouse button, then clicks it again and steps back. "This is an interactive picture; I think you can figure it out." He steps back another step, letting me forward to look at the picture on the screen. I use the mouse to turn the planet around, then I put the time forward half of one of their days and look at it again. There are very few spots on the night picture that do not have lights shining from them, this species hasn't yet discovered space travel, or they would surely have colonized the nearby planets to avoid overcrowding. "Wanna see Mars?" I turn and see a boy with white-blond hair standing at my elbow. He doesn't wait for an answer, just steps in and changes the screen to something similar for the red planet nearest them.

I give that a quick check and then think to ask them the date; the black haired girl in the crowd shoves her way to the front and clicks on something in the top right hand corner of the screen. The time and date pop up, and I let out a low whistle. Our data must be extremely outdated at the temple, because it says that there isn't any intelligent life on this planet as of yet. I stand up and stick my light saber in my belt, "Let's go Snips, um, how do we get back to Malastare?" The looks of confusion on all the other's faces are enough to make me backtrack. "OK, does anyone know how Snips and I got here?" They all point to the cabinet that R2 came out of. "OK, well, good bye."

Snips, ever polite, says, "Thanks for bandaging us up!" I grin, and gesture to R2 to follow us. I'm stepping into the closet when somebody comes sprinting out and crashes into me. I fall backwards into Snips, who hits the front of the crowd, creating a domino effect.

I pick myself up and look at who just ran into me, "Master! What are you doing here?"

"I came to rescue you. When your communicator stopped transmitting, I took a clone transport to Malastare and found yours and Ahsoka's blood all over the place. Along with quite a few dead droids. I found your blood on that tree and you probably can guess what happened from there. There weren't that many droids you know. So how did the both of you wind up injured all over?"

"Extenuating circumstances master, these droids could actually aim."

Obi-Wan laughs a little and then we leave, as I walk into the closet I hear the blind boy yell, "Catch!" I turn around, still walking, and catch something small and metal. The boy yells something else that I don't hear, and then I'm in the tunnel. Seconds later I'm launched from the tree. I land next to Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, then attempt to turn on my light saber. It doesn't work, guess mine is actually broken.

We board the clone transport and I hold the metal contraption up to examine it, there's a little button on the side. "Master Obi-Wan, what do you think of this?" I toss it to him, and when he catches it he inadvertently hits the button. There's a small hissing noise and Obi-Wan tosses it to the back of the ship, yelling, "Everyone to the front!" It rolls a bit when it lands and then white gas starts billowing out of it. The gas spreads rapidly and when it reaches us we all gag, I guess that kid threw me a stink bomb.

Percy's POV

Iggy throws his stink bomb to the black clothed man that the old man had called Annakin. Although I seriously doubt he was really Annakin, but the little bot looked one hell of a lot like R2. Gazzy yells out, "Catch!" and the man turns around to grab it out of the air. He keeps walking towards the back of the cabinet and as the man disappears, Iggy yells out, "Be sure not to set it off inside!" I turn around and accidentally bump into Winry, who's holding Azelf's stink bomb under her arm. She stumbles and both of her arms go out for balance. Time seems to slow down as I see the bomb, somehow primed, fall and land on its trigger. Winry stumbles backwards, and starts to fall right on top of it. There's enough explosive powder in that bomb to put a cannon to shame. The Mickey Mouse clock timer ticks down the last instant, and there's a split second where I see Winry's face locked in a look of fear. With hardly a conscious thought, I tackle her to the ground, away from the explosion.

Time speeds up again as the bomb explodes, and before I know it, it's over and my ears are ringing. I sit up and pull Winry onto my lap, and of course, this is when Mr. Shrimp Alchemist comes in.

Ed (Elric)'s POV

**KABOOM**. I had just gone outside with Al to escape that weird Zola. She was flirting with Al, and he was falling for it! I had to get him away. And now, an explosion!It came from the kitchen, where Winry is! I start running, Al on my heels. I get there first, only to see Percy holding Winry on his lap! First the short insults, and now this? That's it, he's **dead**! I transmute my arm and swing, but Al stops me.

"Brother, look! It was only an accident!" Looking closer, Al is right. Winry is pushing herself off of Percy, looking totally shocked.

"OK, what happened?" My voice sounds all wrong, worried instead of mad and dangerous. "Winry..." At that moment, Zola and Gemma burst in.

"I heard an explosion! Winry, what happened? Why is half the wall gone? And why does everything stink like Azelf's perfume?"

Zola smacks her sister and steps forward bellowing out, "**EXPLANATIONS! NOW!**"

Winry hops up and walks over to the girls, "We were letting our cakes cool and we had just finished putting away the pans when a weird looking girl came out of that closet." She points to a big wooden cabinet in the corner. "She was covered in blood so we bandaged her up, and then a man came out of the cabinet as well. He and Percy fought, and he dropped something while he was fighting, it rolled over there. Then he fainted from loss of blood, and we bandaged him up as well. When he regained consciousness they talked and then a little robot came out, they tried to leave through the cabinet, but another man ran into them as they were entering and we all fell down, I bet that's what started the timer on whatever blew up the wall. The three people talked for a bit and then left with the robot." Wow, she's thorough in her explanations!

Gemma looks like she's thinking hard, then her face lights up with a strange combination of excitement and confusion. She strides purposely towards the computer in the corner and clicks away with the mouse and keys, then steps back and asks Winry "Did the people look like this?" Winry steps over and looks at the image, then nods. "I'm going to guess that this was the first man and this was the second." Winry nods again and Gemma takes a step back, shaking. She giggles to herself and turns to her sister and brother, "The people were Ahsoka, Annakin and Obi-Wan! And the robot was R2!"

Her siblings start to giggle as well and Percy says, "Wait a minute, they _**were**_ from Star Wars?" Annabeth seems to be repressing laughter as Percy goes on to say, "So that first guy **was** Annakin Skywalker? And that robot **was** R2-D2?"

The Monday girls and pretty much everyone else are cracking up, then the blind chimera holds up a finger and says, "Shhhhhhhhhhhh" We all shut up and then we hear a quiet ticking. Iggy's face goes bone white, and without warning he yells, "**GET DOWN!**" The other five chimeras react instantaneously, pulling everyone down behind a metal table that's fallen onto its side. But Percy, Winry and I are over on the other side, near the oven. Percy does something weird with his hands and a thick bubble of water surrounds us. Just in time too, because not a second later something under the oven explodes and sends a plume of fire out at us. As soon as the fireball has passed us, Percy drops the water bubble and the three of us get soaked with hot water.

Percy smirks at me, "If you weren't so small I'm not sure I would have been able to protect you"

I grit my teeth, forcing myself not to freak out at him. "Ok, I really don't like it when you call me that."

Percy's smirk just gets bigger, "Call you what, Shrimp Alchemist?"

I can tell that he's enjoying this, so I take a swing at him. He pulls out his blade and parries, then swings viciously at my automail leg as Winry steps between us. The sword bites into _her_ leg instead, and she cries out in pain before falling to the ground. I drop down and clap my hands together before slamming them to the floor. The floor moves under Winry, carrying her a safe distance away; then the rubble from the exploded wall forms a thick, low barrier between Winry and Percy. Thick enough to not crumble when I slam Percy against it, and low enough that his head won't hit it. I stand up and glare at Percy, transmuting my automail into my trademark blade. He will **pay** for that.

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**Not really proud of Ed's characterisation here, but meh. And btw, Percy is just teasing Ed to relieve tension. He's not an asshole, he's just a little shaken up right now.**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	14. Chapter 14: Artist Intermission Skit

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

**This intermission skit was written by Azelf. She and Dot have never gotten along, probably because Azelf was my first friend and thus the first person Dot had to share me with. I'm not proud of how she's treated in this intermission, but I won't deny that it's funny.**

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**Author: This is 100% the Artist's idea!**

**Artist: Gemma! If you change this and disgrace Fire Emblem I will seriously hurt you!**

**Gemma: No worries there! I solemnly swear I am up to no good.**

**Artist: WHAAAAAT!**

**Author: Oops! Sorry, that's the Marauder's Map. I solemnly swear I will not alter this skit.**

**Artist: Much better.**

Leonardo, Marth, and Edward accidentally go through another one of my traps (a time space warp) then have to survive on their own for several days. A few days later... they catch Zola in a clearing.

Edward: What is it?

Marth: *off getting firewood*

Leo: Uh...

Edward: Well?

Leo: I think it i-

Zo: I'm a person you nitwit! A PERSON

Leo: Not human...I think that is what Azelf called a, uh...hmmm... Oh, yeah! A Meepit!

Edward: Is it...EDIBLE?

Zo: I am NOT edible you idiots! I am a human! HUMAN! GET IT RIGHT!

Leo: *sarcastically* Eddie, I think it is incensed.

Eddie and Zo: ? Incensed?

Leo: *notices the looks on their faces* Are you two such ignoramuses that you have no conception of the sophisticated terminology of which I am conversing with thee?

Edward: ?

Zo: What the F* did you just say?

Leo: *enraged at Zo for her language* You Ninny! You have no conception of my cultivated tongue! Are you some uneducated serf who has meandered her way unto our snare? Speak now or forever hold your peace!

Zo: ?

Leo: *now brimming with anger* Edward Nevasse, it is edible.

Edward: YAY!

Leo: *shoots Zo down*

Edward: *ties Zo's hands and feet like he was going to roast a large game animal*

Azelf: *enters clearing* Leo? Eddie? I knew I snagged my brother, but not you two...

Leo: You're telling me that my presence here is because you warped us here?

Marth: *enters and gives Azelf a noogie* BABY SISTER! YEEE! Imagine meeting you in a dreary place like this!

Azelf: Marth (OW!) You can(OOCH!) stop!

Marth: *continues noogieing Azelf*

Azelf: *blasts Marth with magic*

Marth: *out cold*

Azelf: *to Edward and Leo* What are you two doing with the editor?

Leo and Edward: Editor?

Azelf: ...You didn't know that? *takes out a long sword which she wields with one hand*

Leo and Eddie: *scream and hide behind Zo*

Zo: WTF are you waiting for? Untie me NOW Maggot!

Azelf: *puts sword away and takes out a skewer on which to impale Zo*

Gemma: *comes in and knocks Edward C. and Ed Elric into Edward*

Ed E. and Edward C.: *randomly there for no other purpose other than to be propelled towards the 3rd Edward*

Leo: *shoots Gemma in the rear with a tranquilizer arrow*

**Artist: WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SKIT?**

**Author: Just changed the format a bit.**

**Artist: Oh, ok.**

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**For anyone confused, Meepits are from Neopets. Long story. Look it up yourself, because I actually don't know all of it.**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	15. Chapter 15: What Happened in Amestris

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

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3rd person POV

Winry is on a train, the only one left in the last car, heading to Resembool for Granny's funeral. The train is running near the edge of a gorge when it takes a turn too fast and the last car detaches. Barrel rolling off the edge of the cliff and ramming into the other side of the gorge with enough force to crumple the car like a tin can and cause an avalanche. The falling rocks bury the car and Winry's body is never found.

Two weeks later

Mustang, Riza and Schezka are all on board a train heading back to Central after Winry's funeral. As the train approaches the same section of track that threw Winry's car, the car that Mustang and Riza are in begins to shake. Together, they manage to clear out all the civilians before the car detaches. Riza shoves Mustang over the growing gap and takes two steps back for a running jump, but trips on her first stride. Mustang leaps back onto the out of control car and helps her up, they reach the door to see that the gap looks impossibly wide. Mustang all but throws Riza onto the rest of the train, and when she lands she turns and reaches out to him. He tries to grab her hand, but only just barely brushes her fingers. She cries out, "Colonel!" but can only watch helplessly as the car, in which only he remains, flies off the track. He closes his eyes and for a brief moment he looks peaceful, but then the car begins to barrel roll and smashes into the other side of the gorge with a loud BANG!

Schezka reaches out and grabs Riza's arm, pulling her into the car. "Riza! What happened? Where's the Colonel?"

Riza's eyes fill with tears as she chokes out, "He didn't make it, I tripped and now he's…" She is momentarily overcome by grief and guilt. She collapses to her knees and whispers, "I tripped and he saved me, and now, because of me, he's d- he's d-." She lets a few tears escape and they fall onto her skirt, leaving a small heart shape on the fabric.

One Month Later

Riza's POV

I glance at the clock, it's eleven, my lunch break. I get up from my desk and grab my coat. Schezka looks at me and says "Riza, you look dead. Please, have lunch with us today." I ignore her, every day since the funeral I've gone to his grave, it's become almost a ritual for me. To go sit by him and cry a few silent tears for the man I loved. Today it has been exactly one month since the crash, and the rain is pouring down outside. Before there was always somebody coming with me, but today they're all busy. I head out and let the rain drench me to the bone, by the time I reach the graveyard I probably look like a drowned woman.

I walk through the gates and head for his grave, no indecision whatsoever about what I'm going to do. I kneel by his tombstone and place a hand on the cold stone. It makes me feel slightly closer to him, just enough that I can cry. As the tears roll down my cheeks I ask him the same question that I've asked him for the past month. "Why did you save me?" I pull a gun with a silencer from my pocket, "I can't take this any more. I can't live without you Colonel. I know you would have wanted me to move on, but I can't sir, I can't. I'm sorry, but I need to be where you are. I'm coming," I point the gun at my chest and as I pull the trigger I close my eyes and whisper the end of the sentence, "Roy."

I open my eyes and see a large,ornately carved set of dark stone doors floating behind a figure of pure white light. The figure had no eyes, but I could have sworn it looked at me as it said, "_I cannot let you die yet. You must live a while longer_" The figure steps backwards and the doors open to accept it.

I scream out in anger, "What's left for me to live for?" The figure does not react to my words as black hands reach out and pull it through the doors. They disappear entirely and then I begin to fade out, back to reality.

I come back to myself with a jolt of pain, the bullet did not reach my heart, but instead lodged in one of my ribs. I scream, an inarticulate scream of pain and rage, and grab my gun again. This time I put it to my head and before I pull the trigger I scream, "LET ME DIE!" The trigger clicks, sending the bullet into my head, and the gate appears before me once more.

3rd person POV

The scream and gunshot ring out in the silence, but don't travel very far. Not far enough to reach 10 year old Elicia Hughes coming to drop off a present on the way home from school. She comes trotting up to her father's grave and sees Riza lying there, blood soaking her coat and gun still in her hand. Elicia screams and drops the carving she was holding. She runs over to the dead woman and checks for a pulse, but there is none. The girl whips out her cell phone and dials 911, two minutes later an ambulance comes and picks up Riza, not even bothering to try and revive her as Elicia goes the rest of the way home. Everybody forgets about the little carving that was dropped, and it's still lying there when everybody has gone, the deep cut eyes of Maes Hughes seemingly filling with tears.

Riza's POV

I simply stare at the gate as the doors slowly open and small black hands reach out to grab me. I do not struggle, but step forward, letting them embrace me. The small black hands, so like Pride's, pull me gently towards the figure made of light, past pictures and videos. I come up the figure of light and it seems to glare at me. "_What are you doing here?_"

"You told me to live, but there is nothing left for me to live for."

It scowls at me, and plucks a video from the stream behind it. The clip shows Roy saving Ed using his alchemy, the background is fuzzy, but I can see that Ed is in a gray area, while Roy is in front of white."_He still lives, will you choose to live now? Knowing that he still lives somewhere?_"

I pull out my gun and look it over carefully as I say, "No, I shot myself in the head, there is no way for me to continue living in Amestris." Truth sighs and hands me a knife that seems to be made of light. I stab the picture with the knife to open it, and then stuff my gun's muzzle through the hole. As I pull the trigger and send a bullet through his foot I yell, "Damn you Roy, you're not going to abandon me!"

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**A/N: Yeah, thing is, Riza actually _isn't_ OoC in this chappie. Well, maybe a tad dramatic, but otherwise she's perfectly in character!**

**To see her reaction firsthand, go to this link- www. youtube watch?v=Jzo_4QmAD-A&feature= PlayList&p=BHC-ukqRkjk (taking out the spaces, of course.)**

**Or this one- www. onemanga/ Full_Metal_Alchemist/ 39/22/ (this one doesn't work anymore, but whatever.)**

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**Okay. I hate how Riza came out in this. I really do. It feels like a slightly AU angst fic. And my logic for why is shit as well. And when did we go from 1st Anime to Manga/Brotherhood? Hell, I think when we added FMA this abandoned all pretense of being a fair crossover and just turned into an FMA-in-our-house-with-some-other-people-in-there-as-well.**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	16. Chapter 16: The Death of Winry

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

**And we're back to what little semblance of a plot this fic has! God, what was I thinking when I named this chapter?**

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**(please try to remember what was going on at the end of 12, that is where this chapter starts)**

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Percy's POV

I have it all planned out, I'll insult Ed, he'll swing, I'll parry and whack his metal leg, then Winry will step in and stop the fight. But it all goes wrong. As I swing my sword at Ed's automail leg, Winry steps between us. I can't stop the sword fast enough to prevent the strong swing meant to damage his _metal_ leg from cutting deeply into her decidedly _non_ metal one. She falls to the ground, screaming in pain, and Ed drops down right after her. He transmutes the ground under her so that she is carried a safe distance away, and then a thick, low wall comes up. Then he snaps and flies at me, I can see it in his eyes that he has every intention of beating me to a pulp. But I just step aside at the last second. He whirls around and as he charges me again he yells out, "DAMN YOU ENVY!"

That shocks me enough for him to get past my guard, but not quite enough for him to land a solid blow on me. I dodge away as he tries to slice my arm, but I don't completely avoid his strike. He puts a slight graze on the side of my chest, but then I press on relentlessly and he has no choice but to fall back. Before long I've got him pinned with my sword at his throat, I can't resist, who knows when I'll next be able to freely insult him? "Got you now ya little shrimp." But before he can retaliate, a fireball comes out of nowhere and hits me smack in the middle of my chest, The last thing I see before passing out in midair is a silhouette of a man with his arm extended towards me, looking like he just snapped his fingers.

Ed's POV

Envy hits me again, sending me skidding backwards. He unexpectedly swings his sword at my right leg, and I can't get my blade down fast enough to block him. The sword bites into my leg and I fall on my butt. He puts his sword at my throat and is wearing his trademark smirk as he says, "Got you now, ya little shrimp." I blink, the red haze clearing from my vision, what was I just doing? Why does Percy have his sword at my throat? But before I can ask him, something explodes and sends him flying backwards. I'm up on my feet in an instant, running towards him and removing the blade from my arm.

I yell out, "Somebody get a first aid kit!" and out of the corner of my eye I see Schezka run off. Annabeth comes up beside me and we reach Percy at the same time, she gasps at the severity of the burns, they cover his chest and go all the way up to his chin. I ask her, "Is there anything that can help him?" not just to help him, but because I don't want her to have to see her boyfriend like this.

"Yes, water. I'll go fill a bucket. Gemma! Show me where the bathroom is!" She runs off through the crowd, Gemma dragging her by the wrist. As I watch her go I see Winry trying to get up, but her leg keeps giving out under her and I hope fervently that someone will keep her sitting down.

Not two seconds after Annabeth disappears around the corner I hear a gunshot ring out, followed by somebody cussing in pain and another person yelling, "Damn you Roy, you're not going to abandon me!" I turn around, thoroughly confused. Was that who I think it was? It is!

"Mustang?" I see Colonel Bastard sitting on the ground, holding his foot. And behind him, Hawkeye is coming through what looks like a shining golden rip in the air. "Lieutenant Hawkeye?" She's holding a gun with both hands, and tears are streaming down her face. Mustang looks as shocked as I feel; she just called him by his first name! Wait, what are they doing here anyway? She tears strips from her coat as she walks quickly and purposefully towards us.

She arrives and Mustang is still frozen, presumably with shock. She quickly dresses the wound that _she gave him_, and then turns her head and sees me. She stands up and strides over to me, and as she draws closer I see that she doesn't look the same as when I last saw her. Her hair looks limp, hanging down her back without any life to it, and her skin is so pale it's a little scary. She pulls me into a brief hug and then steps back and slaps me across the face.

"**WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?**" I put one hand to my stinging cheek, and the other to my leg, ow, damn it, Percy cut pretty deep.

"The first was because I'm glad to see you, and the second was for your inexcusable behavior when you were last in Amestris. Winry had spent the last two years waiting for you, and Al had been looking for you day and night. You were ready to leave both of them behind, and Winry went into depression after you left the second time. You broke her heart twice, and just over a month ago she died!" Her voice rises through the whole rant, and by the end she's yelling, tears pouring from her eyes. When she says the word 'died' I hear a quiet gasp and turn to the right.

There's Winry, looking confused and scared. She's on this side of the barrier now, shaking so hard even that her good leg collapses under her and she falls to her knees. "Hawkeye, what do you mean? Why did you say that I'm dead?" She's on the verge of tears and she looks scared as hell. I don't think as I try to dart over to her. I just want to comfort her, make her feel safe, keep her from crying. But my leg refuses to move quickly and I curse Percy under my breath.

I drop to my knees next to her and put my arms around her. I stroke her hair gently and murmur, "It's alright, I'm here, you're safe, I won't let anything hurt you." She cries into my shirt, and I just hold on to her until she stops shaking, stroking her hair and quietly comforting her.

She stops shaking and sniffles a bit, then pulls away and wipes her eyes, "I have to get your cuts bandaged up." She tries to stand, but her leg is cut too deeply to support her for long. I help her up, keeping her arm around my shoulder as I walk over to where Annabeth and Schezka are putting gauze on Percy's now wet chest. Winry slips her arm off from around my shoulder when we're about half way there and takes a few steps towards the open kit. She collapses and when I move to help her up again **my** cut leg gives out! Some husband, I can't even help her up when she's collapsed on the floor.

I try again to stand, and this time I manage to get to my feet and limp over to her. I pull her up and we lean on each other till we get to the kit. Zak seems to find this a moment worthy of song, because he starts singing under his breath. "Lean on me, when you're not strong." But he gets no further than that before Gemma smacks him.

Winry and I sit down shakily on the floor and she pulls out a tube of antiseptic and a roll of gauze. She pours a little bit of Peroxide into the cut that Percy put on my leg, and then uses the gauze to wrap it up. She then proceeds to wrap the rest of my numerous cuts and scrapes. At one point Annabeth and Schezka pick up Percy and start hauling him off in the direction of the bathroom. I groan inwardly, when he finally regains consciousness he'll be calling me Shrimp Alchemist near constantly, and I just know that Mustang's gonna **love** that.

Ten minutes later

Mustang's POV

Winry finishes with Fullmetal's last cut and gives him a quick kiss. He blushes and stands up, pulling her with. There's a casual intimacy about the way they touch, what happened between them? Gemma comes out of the crowd, with Al and Zola following close behind. FullMetal and Winry are kissing, what in the world happened between them that he now shows such open affection towards her? Gemma looks at me for a second and then says to FullMetal and Winry, "Alright Elrics! Break it up!"

I blink, Elrics? That warrants a double check later. I try to get up, but my foot can't support me. "Hawkeye, would you _please_ explain why you _shot_ me in the _foot_?"

She blushes a little bit and says, "I didn't want you to leave me again."

Her words remind me of something, "Oh, how did you get here anyway? There wasn't anything like that when I showed up." She blushes even more and mutters something. "What did you say?"

Her cheeks are a brilliant crimson as she says, "I couldn't live without you, so I shot myself."

"YOU KILLED YOURSELF! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?" She just stands there with her head down, and then she starts to smile. "Why are you smiling?"

She doesn't look up as she whispers, "It's nice to hear your voice again sir, even if you're yelling at me. I thought that I would never hear you again."

I blush and try again to stand, this time she catches me as I fall. She helps me over to a chair, but she doesn't leave me there alone, just sits down next to me and lets me lean on her. It's almost embarrassing how handicapped that one bullet made me, but I wouldn't expect anything less from Hawkeye.

**Editor: I thought you couldn't write romance scenes?**

**Author: No, I said I didn't like them.**

**Editor: So why are you writing them?**

**Author: I just think that we need a bit of quiet before the XXXXX in chapter XX.**

**Editor: Good point, with all that commotion it'll be moving so fast... Carry on.]**

Ed's POV

Winry ties the gauze around my last cut and gives me a quick kiss. I blush and stand, pulling her with me. She buries her face in my shoulder and says, "Some honeymoon, huh? We're so beaten up that neither of us can even stand on our own."

I hold her tight, "Yeah, but we can have a real one later." She smiles and looks at me, it's completely spur of the moment, but I kiss her. I hear Al come out of the crowd, but I don't really care.

Then Gemma totally ruins the moment by yelling, "Alright Elrics! Break it up!" We break apart, both of us smiling, and turn to look at her. I see Mustang looking confused on my periphery, but shunt that to the side to deal with later. Gemma snaps her fingers to get my attention and starts talking. "Alright, Winry, since you are thought dead back home, you cannot return. I don't want to send any of you away from here, so how would the three of you like to live with us?"

My mouth falls open a little bit; she would let us live here? I suppose they _do _have more than enough room. I start to say we need to think about it, but before I can get the words out of my mouth, Mustang starts shouting. "YOU KILLED YOURSELF! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?" Hawkeye is standing in front of him, head down, taking it in silence. Then she starts to smile, and he asks her, "Why are you smiling?"

She whispers something that's only loud enough for him to hear, and he turns pink. Then he tries to stand up again and she catches him. She helps him over to a chair and they sit down. I turn back to Gemma and say, "I think that we need to talk it over."

She nods, then turns to look at Mustang and her expression goes from slightly amused to furiously angry in a split second. "Mustang you idiot! If you try to get up again I'm going to tie you to that chair!" Mustang pretends not to hear her and tries to get up again, Gemma holds out her hand to me, "make me a chain." I transmute a thick chain from the table the others hid behind and toss it to her. She snatches it and says to Hawkeye, "Restrain him, and take away his gloves."

Hawkeye nods and in a flash she has Mustang's arms behind the chair and his gloves off. Gemma stalks up to him and says, "I did warn you." She then wraps him with the chain so that he can't even move a finger. She looks at me and says, "Fuse the ends please." I smirk, this is fun! I walk over, still leaning on Winry, and transmute the ends of the chain so that they become linked.

Mustang looks at Hawkeye, "How can you side with them?"

She looks him in the eye and says, "It's for your own good. You won't stay off your wounded foot voluntarily, so we must force you."

He just looks frustrated, and Gemma says to me, "Could you fix the wall now? We can't move him, and it's pretty cold in here with half the wall gone." Mustang starts to protest and Zola stuffs a washcloth in his mouth. Oh well, he can breathe through his nose.

I say, "Sure, sure." To Gemma and then clap my hands and transmute the barrier that I made for the fight into the wall, leaving a simple door where there was none before.

Zola grabs the gloves and says something to Gemma that I don't catch. They head outside and pretty soon everybody except for Mustang and Hawkeye are on the lawn. Zola is kneeling next to Al, who is scratching a transmutation circle in the snow with a stick. She nods, and Al puts his hands to the circle, I see the familiar blue lighting and then targets made of ice spring up all across the lawn, all the way to the edge of the trees. Zola stands up and pulls on Mustang's gloves, then she snaps her fingers and the nearest target explodes. Zola pulls off the gloves, looking absolutely terrified of their immense power, and Catty's face lights up. She grabs the gloves and pulls them on, then snaps her fingers and a target explodes. She starts grinning like an idiot and blowing up all the targets, then she snaps the fingers of her _other_ hand and a tree bursts into flame.

Zola screams, "**Gemma**! WHAT DID YOU JUST **DO**?" I decide not to worry about that, I try to take a step and fall to my knees. Damn, Percy really did cut deep. As Winry pulls me to my feet, Al runs close to the tree and transmutes a giant casing of snow around it, exactly what I was going to do. The snow melts, putting out the fire and leaving the tree a black skeleton.

Zola smacks Gemma and takes back the gloves. As she finishes placing them carefully in her back pockets, where they can't do any harm, Gemma points at the steam and says, "Hey, are those people in there?"

I look where she's pointing, and see six humanoid figures heading towards us. An inexplicable terror grips me and I yell out, "Al! Get back here! I don't think these guys are friendly!"

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**Okay, yeah. I think Dot stepped out for a bit around here, which is why FMA takes over even more. And it's worse next chapter. Worse, because sometimes I look back at that and think it could be saved pretty easily and made into its own oneshot.**

**No, brain, stop doing that!**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	17. Chapter 17: The 7 Deadly Sins

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

**Another distraction from the plot. And right when it was actually starting to look coherent, too! And you can tell this was all me, because it's entirely FMA.**

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Ch17 The 7 Deadly Sins

(Yeah, this is randomosity partly inspired by a picture of Ed and Winry as Homunculi and partly inspired by a vivid mental image of said couple making out in the cab of a truck. Popped into my head and woke me up at 1 in the morning. Also I feel that a bit of back-story is needed before the next chapter. Sorry about the poor quality of some of the writing, did it at 1 in the morning so I wasn't really awake.)

Pride's POV

I knock out another homeless child and call out, "I got another one!"

Lust calls back to me, "That makes 15 today! Let's get back to Lucifer." I roll my eyes as I head for the truck, pulling the unconscious girl behind me. I lift the black plastic shell that covers the bed of the truck and toss the kid in there. She lands limply on top of the others I knocked out. I shut the cover and latch it in place, then climb into the cab and kiss Lust, she's just so damn sexy! And best of all, she's mine.

We make out until Greed calls in on the radio, "Hey lovebirds! Wrath and I have our bunch for the day, let's head back." I scowl at the radio, wishing that Greed was here so that I could punch him in the face. I just sigh and put my arm around Lust as I drive towards the nearest entrance to our base. I'd like to have some more time alone with her, but Lucifer will stick me with Envy next time if we're late.

I pull up to a pair of rusted gates and put my hand on them, they slide down into the ground and I drive the truck through. As I hit the pressure plate I hear Greed and Wrath pulling up behind us. Wrath is swearing his head off and I can see Greed gritting his teeth in my rear view mirror. I just smile as I drive into the sloped tunnel that leads past the storage room to the parking spots. The gates go down pretty fast, but it takes forever for them to get back up again. And since they can't reverse direction without being either completely up or down, Greed will just have to wait there for a while.

We reach the storage room and I hop out. The kids in the back are still unconscious, so it's fairly easy to put them through the hatch that's halfway up the wall. I stuff the last one through and lock the cover in place. As I start to get in the cab I hear an engine coming down the tunnel, and a certain somebody swearing at me rather loudly. I just gun the engine and shoot off towards the parking spots. Greed always takes the closer one; it even has his name written there, so I park there, just to annoy him. I hop out of the cab and Lust gets out on the other side, I put my arm around her waist and together we walk up to tell Lucifer how many new souls we collected today.

I come in to the main room, which is directly above the storage room, and spot Lucifer lifting weights in the corner. He's benching 150, not bad for a 30 year old man. He lifts the weights a few more times and then lets them rest in their cradle. He sits up and wipes the sweat from his brow, "You've collected your quota for today?"

I nod tersely, "Yes, we collected fifteen."

Envy walks in just then, "I got 12."

Lucifer fixes his cat like yellow eyes on Greed as he walks through the door, Greed meets this with a nonchalant shrug and "We got 13." Once again, I got the most, still undefeated.

Lucifer pulls on his white suit and says, "Sloth, Gluttony, bring in our latest Alchemist." As he puts on his flat white hat. Sloth comes in, her loose, knee length dress fluttering as she leads a young woman who has a left arm of metal. "Cynthia Thomas." The woman's eyes widen in fear as Lucifer addresses her, "Five years ago you attempted to resurrect your dead lover, now, if you don't co-operate we will kill your precious daughter, and then we will kill you." The woman simply nods her head yes and points at the circle. Even though she says nothing it is clear what she is asking. "Yes, we want you to activate that array and then you will be let free."

Sloth releases the chain that is around the Alchemist's neck and Cynthia stumbles forward towards the circle. She falls to her knees and claps her hands together, then places them on the array. Most of the 1000 people below scream in agony as their souls are ripped from their bodies, and Cynthia screams with them. The souls come up through grates in the floor that form the dots on the circle, fusing together into a single, blood red rock. Cynthia falls to the floor as the transmutation finishes, the stone clattering as it falls into the little glass that stands on a podium in the middle of the circle. Lucifer begins to clap, "Well done Cynthia, well done. The other alchemists we've had in here didn't have the nerve, so we put them in the soul room. You, Cynthia, have just killed 1000 people. I will keep my word, you will be released, but you will _never_ speak of this again."

The poor, half conscious woman nods yes, obviously transfixed by his yellow eyes. "Wrath, disable her." My younger brother of sorts smiles and brings his hand down on her neck, almost hard enough to break it, but not quite. She falls to the floor, fully unconscious. "Sloth, Gluttony, take her away. Wake her somewhere that she can find her way home from."

Gluttony frowns, one finger in his mouth, "I can't eat her?"

Sloth just sighs and says, "No Gluttony, you can't eat her. Now help me carry her."

As they leave Lucifer says, "Be here by 6 tomorrow morning, we're going to be leaving." I smile and grab Lust by the wrist, I don't know if we're going to survive another 24 hours, so we'll make the best of what we have tonight.

-Since I have absolutely no idea how to write a sex scene, we skip to the next morning.-

I open my eyes and see Lust's perfect face just inches from my own, her long blond hair splayed out around her head. I reach out and brush a few stray hairs from her face, glad that she's mine. I sit up and swing my legs over the edge of the bed. My clothes are lying in a pile next to hers, so I start getting dressed. I pull on my underwear and skirt, then one shoe. I'm turning around, looking for the other one, when I realize that she's awake. I grab her clothes off the floor and toss them over to her, "Morning Lust."

She sits up, holding the sheet across her chest and yawning a little, "Pride, what time is it?"

I glance at the clock behind her, "5:34, Lucifer said he wanted us there by six, so get dressed."

She smiles her most beautiful smile and starts to get dressed as I pull on my shirt. Underneath it is the missing shoe, go figure! I look over at Lust and see her pulling on her gloves. Why she wears gloves that come up over her elbow I do not know, but I do know that she's mine. Even if everything else is taken from me I still can be proud of my girlfriend. I give her a nice long kiss, I have a feeling that something will happen to her, and I can't bear to let her be hurt. We walk out of the room together and literally run into Wrath, he stumbles, then glowers at me and starts cussing at the top of his lungs. The other five open their doors, already dressed, and look out to see their normal wake up call. Envy groans softly and Greed just smirks as I punch Wrath in the face, it doesn't actually hurt him, just makes him fall on his butt and start swearing even louder.

I roll my eyes as I stuff my hardened foot in his mouth, he bites but it doesn't hurt. Lust grabs the jacket she wore yesterday when we were out and hands it to me to stuff in his mouth. He can still breathe, but now he can't swear. I un-harden my foot and we all head down towards the main room. The others went down there while Wrath and I were fighting, so Envy is sitting on the floor by Lucifer when I come in. "Hey pipsqueak, " My hardened fist connects with his jaw before he can finish his sentence.

"**DON'T CALL ME SHORT YOU FREAKY PALM TREE!**"

He gets right back on his feet, "Maybe you should have been called Wrath ya little runt!"

"**WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICROSCOPIC DUST SPECK!**" This time I land a solid kick in his gut and he goes flying into the wall, putting yet another crack in the almost shattered thick stone.

Then Lucifer steps in, "Stop it! You will need as much of your energy as possible to gain dominion over the other world."

I scowl, "I know that, but he called me short!"

Envy shoots a murderous glare at Greed, "Only because I lost a bet with Mr. Fire Fingers over there."

Lucifer just sighs and walks over to a new, strange looking circle. He beckons us and we come over. Once we are all standing around the circle, he activates it. Suddenly we're standing in front of a ridiculously tall set of stone doors. Somebody, no, some_thing_, speaks behind us. "_Human and Homunculi, how do you come to stand before the gate without a human transmutation?_"

Something in that voice tells me that it's dangerous. I spin around and push Lust behind me. The thing has no features besides a mouth, but I get the feeling that it's staring at Lucifer. He speaks without turning to face the white thing, "I made a circle, how else? But now to business." He turns and walks up to the thing, holding the stone between two fingers. "I am Lucifer J. Kimblee and I wish to pass to the other side with my followers, I will pay the toll with this stone of a thousand souls."

The thing grins, "_It's been a while since a human has had the guts to bargain with truth. The last one before you simply traded his arm for his brother's soul. That would make you the third one in all of history._"

Lucifer's curiosity has obviously been piqued, "Who was the first?"

The thing simply grins and says, "_You have the same snide sarcasm. He actually looked rather like you, he traded part of his soul to extend the life of his lover by a year. Said that their child needed to be born safely, but the part that he traded was his regard for life and his curiosity, he wound up killing thousands of Ishvalans and came through a few years ago, said that he was actually rather irritated that he had no chance to take more lives. Quite the odd man. Oh, and to answer your first question, yes. I will take this stone as your toll._" Lucifer has by now gone rather pale, he told us the story of his father once, when Gluttony, the youngest of us, was finished. This _thing's_ description is eerily similar.

The stone doors open to reveal hundreds of black hands reaching out to us, Envy steps in with a grin of anticipation and I make sure that everybody else gets in safely, Lucifer going third so that he will be protected when he emerges. Finally the only ones left are Lust and myself, she kisses me and then walks into the black arms. I follow after and as soon as I'm inside the doors close behind me. The hands are soft and caressing, but then Lust screams up ahead. I start to fight my way through the little black hands that are now clawing at my skin. I ignore the pain, letting the blood flow as I fight my way forward. Bellowing at the top of my lungs, "Lust! Lust where are you?" But I have to follow the sound of her screams because I can't even see her until she's close enough to touch. She seems unable to heal herself, so I pull her into my arms and harden my entire body. I bellow at the hands, "You can't even scratch the Ultimate shield!" Lust cringes into me, small crackles of red energy flickering across her skin as she heals her cuts. I hug her close and think to myself, I'm the only one who can protect her, that's what I need to do.

After what feels like an eternity, I see a light ahead. I hold Lust tighter, if I lose her now that'll make all my work useless. We come flying out of the blackness and my feet hit damp soil. I manage to not do a face plant and un-harden when it becomes obvious that the hands can't reach us anymore. I look at the four Homunculi standing in front of me. "Greed, Sloth, Gluttony, Wrath, where's Envy?"

I look at Greed who simply shrugs and says, "He said something about regained memories and antagonizing a person named Mustang."

I sigh and look around again, "Wait, where's Lucifer?"

Sloth looks at her feet, "I was right behind him, the hands tore him to pieces. I couldn't do a thing."

She looks to be on the verge of tears, so I say, "Well, since Envy's not here I'm the oldest, that would put me in charge. I say that we do what he told us to do. Kill the Elric brothers."

Greed smiles wickedly, Sloth grins a bit, Lust stands up and Gluttony simply says, "Can I eat them?"

I smile, "Yes, you may eat them." I line them up in a spear head formation with Lust and myself, the Ultimate lance and Ultimate shield , at the front**.** Greed, the Ultimate flame, is on my right**,** and Wrath, who possesses the Ultimate eye, on my left**.** Sloth and Gluttony are in back because they aren't the best fighters. Once we're all lined up we head toward the voices that are ringing loud through the crisp winter air.

Ed's POV

Al turns around and runs back to us. I take a few steps forward with Winry until I'm in front of the both of them. The first thing I see is a right arm, covered in blood red tattoos that look hauntingly familiar. Next I see the shoulder, followed quickly by the rest of the body, everything but the left shoulder and the head. The person is wearing a cropped, sleeveless black top and a skirt. I get as close to a defensive fighting stance as I can with my hurt leg, but I freeze when the steam clears from his left shoulder. Because right there, mapped out in red ink, is an ouroborous. I thought that nothing could surprise me more, well I was wrong, because when the steam clears from his face I swear my heart misses a beat. Because there in front of me, are two violet eyes, staring back at me from my own face.

(I know , we is Ebil. [Definition: Evil in a totally awesome way.] You'll just have to wait for the next chapter. Reviews will make it come quicker!)

Zola: WAAAAAH! My Chibi got no silly poses this chapter! I'll have to make up for it immediately! *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose*

*strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose* *strikes silly pose*

Zola: There! All better!

Gemma: You are _**insane**_!

Zola: What's with the crazy underline bold italics combo? And yes. I iz _**INSANE**_! M**wahahaha!**

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**Yeah. I sucked at writing when I came up with this. It really shows.**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


	18. Chapter 18: Burning Snow and Goodbyes

**I own nothing in this story apart from my horrible plot and awful grammar. (And Mary Sue OCs)**

**This is the last thing I wrote, and it isn't finished. ****It probably never will be.**

**I congratulate you on getting this far.**

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**(*hits self in head with notebook* GYAAAAH! WHY DID THIS HAVE TO BE SO DAMN HARD TO WRITE?)**

**[Zola: *strikes silly pose*]**

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Ed's POV

I'm in shock as the wind continues blowing to reveal five other Homunculi, each of them resembling somebody I know. Myself and Winry are in the front, Al is on the right and a carbon copy of Mustang is on the left. They even gave him the gloves, which is kinda dumb since Homunculi can't use alchemy. Way in the back are Gluttony, who looks exactly the same, and Rose. I say, "Who are you?" Hoping to figure out which one is which. The Winry clone is obviously Lust, simply based on her clothes. But which one am I?

My copy steps forward, putting Lust behind him. "I am Pride, and this is Lust. The others are Wrath," He points at the Al lookalike, then the Mustang clone, "That one is Greed." Hah, perfect choice. "The girl in back is Sloth, and the fat one is Gluttony." He looks at me, and I see the unwavering determination in his eyes. "You two shorties must be the Elric brothers, it'll be a pleasure annihilating you." I hold my arms out, both protecting Winry and getting ready to fight.

I take a step forward and my leg gives out. Winry stops leaning on Al, who immediately runs off with the others to fight the homunculi. She takes the step over to me, "You idiot. You can't possibly fight in this condition! Let Al and the others take care of them."

"Winry, Al and I are the only ones who know how to beat the homunculi. The others won't be able to put a scratch on them." I try to get up, and collapse again. "Damn, why did Percy have to cut so deep?" I put my hands down through the snow and transmute four identical rods of stone, then I transmute two pieces of strong rope from my coat. I place two of the rods against my leg and tie them tightly in place with the rope. "Winry, use the other rods and the rope to make yourself a brace. You need to get back inside." With that I run over to where Al is fending off Wrath, Gluttony, Lust and Pride. Zola is meditating behind a tree which Greed is leaning against, and Sloth is nowhere to be seen. I jump in, stabbing Pride in the head with my blade. He whips around and swings at me with one gray, clawed hand.

"So this time Pride has the Ultimate shield, this'll be a cinch!" He grins evilly at me and hardens his entire body, exactly what I want. "I've won against the Ultimate shield before, and he was a lot taller than you."

Pride is just an inch shorter than me, and apparently he doesn't like being called out on his height either. "**WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICROSCOPIC INSECT!**" He swings furiously at me and I take the opportunity to weaken the shield on his chest.

"That's a good one, I'll have to make a note of it. Runt." This time he doesn't even _try_ to form an articulate retaliation, he just screams and launches himself at me. I stab him in the heart with my blade, "I told you, I've won against the Ultimate shield. A mite like you won't be able to beat me." I smirk as Pride heals and hardens, glaring at me the whole while. I never thought that I would be glad that people always call me short, but their insults make Pride as angry as they make me. I dart around him, dodging his punches and occasionally hitting him. I kill him for the fifth time and suddenly there's a stabbing pain in my shoulder.

I look at my shoulder and see two long spears protruding from it, I look up and see Lust standing there with her hand out. "Don't. Hurt. Him." She emphasizes each word with a twist of her hand and I cry out in pain, making her smile. Behind her Al is still fighting Wrath, Gluttony is nowhere to be seen so he must be dead.

Without any warning a wrench comes out of nowhere and embeds itself in Lust's head. I turn my head and see Winry standing there looking murderous. "Don't you dare hurt my husband!" Lust pulls the wrench from her head and hurls it at Winry, who ducks. They start going at it and I turn my attention back to Pride.

He's glaring at me, looking particularly murderous. "Hey, shrimp alchemist, aren't you gonna hit me?" I fly at him again and start pounding on him, that's when I make a discovery. Healing and hardening can't happen at the same time! I smile and keep pounding on him. I've killed him four more times when a cry of pain makes me look up. Winry is pinned to the wall by Lust's spears, all eight of her heavy tools lying on the snow, covered in blood.

Mustang's POV

Hawkeye remains next to me when the others leave, she waits a minute, then she removes the gag and kisses me. I stiffen and she immediately pulls away. She sits down on the chair next to me, blushing furiously. That was unexpected, but kind of nice. I look over at her, noticing that the way her hair falls down her back looks like a flowing river. I close my eyes and lean my head back, finally admitting to myself that I've been in love with her for a while. I hear the sound of things exploding, those girls are probably playing with my gloves. Suddenly I hear a loud explosion, followed closely by Zola screaming, "**Gemma**! WHAT DID YOU JUST **DO**?" I roll my eyes as I hear alchemic crackles and a loud hiss, that crazy girl probably set a tree on fire or something.

The boy who I barbecued earlier calls out from a few rooms away, "Hey! Is anybody here?"

Hawkeye sighs and stands up, "I'll go, he's in no condition to be walking around." She walks off and I sigh, I can fight a homunculus any day, but I don't even have the guts to tell that woman I love her. I hear a quiet creak and look over at the door, a small black dog is poking its head in. It sees me and barks happily, I chuckle as it comes through the little doggie door and walks up to me, wagging its tail. Then red lightning starts to crackle around it and I stop laughing. It can't be! But it is, within five seconds the homunculus Envy is standing before me. He grins and picks up the gag from the floor, I don't even have time to call for help before he forces it into my mouth.

He steps back, an evil smirk on his face, "Hello Flame Alchemist, Do you still want to kill me for killing Hughes?" I can do nothing but glare at him as he continues, "It was actually easy, I disguised myself as Ross, then when he called me out on a flaw I changed into his wife. He couldn't throw the dagger, so I shot him. It's surprising really, she wasn't even all that pretty. I mean, she was downright _ug-_"

Envy's mouth is suddenly filled with a dagger. It splits his tongue in two and almost definitely punctures his brain. I blink, who threw that? [Mustang Chibi: WTF?] My unspoken question is answered a second later when I see a flash of glasses in Envy's startled eyes and a very familiar voice speaks up from behind me.

No way... it's just not possible... could it really be...?

[Random (actual) Zola: *eyes snap open* It is time.]

Ed's POV

Lust grins at me as she extends one of her nails on the other hand and puts it at Winry's throat. Winry is helpless as the razor sharp needle point drags slowly across her throat, I start running and Lust extends her nail a bit. Now there's a small rivulet of blood running down Winry's neck, and I'm helpless.

I grit my teeth and start to take another step, Lust grins and draws her hand back to cut Winry's head off. But I don't give her the chance, sending a fist of ice up directly underneath he. By sheer chance, the wall explodes the second she's up. I run over to Winry and pull her into my arms, she shakes a little and then stops. She stands up and I release her, letting her run into the kitchen. I hear Pride come up behind me and whirl around, my left foot at the same height as his head. He ducks and charges me, managing to land a solid blow on my chest. I flip right up and am about to attack him when something explodes and Envy flies between us. He pulls himself out of what used to be a refrigerator and snarls, "Pipsqueak!" Pride and I narrow our eyes in synchronization, and then launch mirror image flying kicks at Envy.

I scream, in unison with Pride, "**DON'T CALL ME SHORT!**" We hit Envy at the same time, knocking him back into what little is left of the fridge. I then look at Pride and we nod, we'll beat up Envy and _then_ kill each other.

Mustang's POV

I turn my head as far as I'm able and see a person walking in that I had never even dreamed of seeing again. [Mustang Chibi: *dies from sheer concentrated awesomeness*] "Colonel Maes Hughes, reporting for duty sir." He salutes me, then removes the gag and snaps the chain, Ed must have made that link frail deliberately. [Mustang Chibi: *mysteriously alive again* Wait.. I was able to get out all along? *BBQs Ed Chibi*] I stand up and Hughes hands me a pair of gloves, "Here sir, you might need these."

"Where did you get these?" I ask, still in shock.

"Hawkeye gave them to me a while back, said to always keep them on hand."

That's just like her, always thinking ahead. Oh, I get it now. The reason that she always took extra precautions. She wasn't just trying to protect her superior, she was trying to protect _me_. I pull on the gloves, "Thanks Hughes, now, Envy..." I turn and see that the homunculus is up, pulling the dagger from his mouth. I snap my fingers and the air in front of him explodes, taking out the newly repaired wall.

Ed's POV

More stuffz

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**You deserve a reward for getting through this all. Have a virtual desert buffet.**

**/gives**

**Well, the review thingy is right there! Feel free to bash this. I do so on a regular basis. (read: whenever I remember it exists)**


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